Transcript - Episode 29: Stuff Is Supposed To Go Down Drains, Right? (Part 2)
Audio for Stuff Is Supposed To Go Down Drains, Right? Part 2
Stuff Is Supposed To Go Down Drains, Right? Part 2
Wed, Feb 25, 2026
“Push the Roll with Ross Bryant” is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
Ross Bryant 00:01
You're peering in, and you don't see anything. You don't see anything reflective in there. You know, it's plastic and concrete, and then it feeds down into the pipes that undergird this whole park, feeding water into the various slides and pools. You don't see anything in there when you draw closer, but you said you're reaching in.
cuppycup 00:22
Yeah, I think he will. He's gonna reach in without thinking about it too much.
Ross Bryant 00:26
Great. You reach in.
cuppycup 00:27
I don't feel like this is unusual, like we're dislodging things all the time.
Ross Bryant 00:32
Yeah. Of course, you've reached into these before. There's, like, aqua socks and flip flops and water wings and goggles and t-shirts are always getting clogged in here. And you reach in, feeling around for what you assume must be back in here. There's got to be like, probably a piece of clothing that someone- that got, like, taken off by the wave pool, that got sucked into the filter. You do feel something. It suddenly envelops your arm up to the elbow. And then just sort of strokes it [gasps from the players] gently off to the fingertips. It's not flesh. It's not a hand. It's hair. [more sounds of distress and disgust from the players]
Paula Deming 01:10
Yeah,
cuppycup 01:12
Yeah,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 01:19
What the fuck? [laughter]
Paula Deming 01:26
It's hair!
Ross Bryant 01:27
Roll Sanity for me.
cuppycup 01:29
Yes, that should be an auto fail. [laughter] Oh, perfectly I rolled an 87 over 50.
Josephine McAdam 01:39
Yeah,
Ross Bryant 01:41
It's just hair in a pool. You lose 1 point of Sanity.
cuppycup 01:45
Oh, okay. This is a very hairy water park, I will say.
Ross Bryant 01:48
It's just hair. It's the 80s!
Josephine McAdam 01:52
Yeah, there's a lot of hair.
Ross Bryant 01:54
No, it doesn't wreck your sanity, but it is- how does this make you feel?
cuppycup 01:58
I think he recoils and like the others will see him kind of thrashing in the water like
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 02:02
Ugh, disgusting. What the fuck?
Paula Deming 02:06
As he has this kind of a reaction, I think it will startle Esther, who will grab on to Finn's arm.
Finn (Josephine) 02:19
Don't worry, Esther,
Josephine McAdam 02:19
I'll wrap my arm around her.
Finn (Josephine) 02:22
Lawrence won't let him drown. [laughter]
Lawrence (Ross) 02:26
Don't worry, I got you!
Ross Bryant 02:28
Lawrence launches himself into the pool. He goes to dive and absolutely belly flops, [splat] onto the surface.
Esther Jones (Paula) 02:36
How did he get the lifeguarding job?
Ross Bryant 02:39
He's flailing around.
cuppycup 02:44
Corey drags him out.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 02:46
Nope, not dying on my watch.
Ross Bryant 02:49
[MUSIC: melancholic guitar theme] The cosmos is a cyclopean infinity of chaos, infinite branching paths stretching off to vistas in the distance that will drive the mind mad. Shall we shrink in the face of all this? Or will we climb aboard the chaos and ride it to the end, letting chance guide the way? This is Push the Roll. We're rolling dice against your Patreon suggestions to create improvised Call of Cthulhu adventures in real time with themes of eldritch horror, the weird, the transhuman, the transmundane, the cyberpunk, the splatterpunk, the anything punk. We don't know until we roll. Anytime, anyplace, anything can happen when you push the roll.
Virginia Lee 03:40
I'll jump in and help drag Lawrence out of the pool. [laughing]
Ross Bryant 03:47
Lawrence is attempting, feebly, to grab your arm like
Lawrence (Ross) 03:50
I'll [gurgling] save [more gurgling] you.
Ross Bryant 03:53
Annette, you're also pulling him out.
Virginia Lee 03:56
Yes [laughing]
Ross Bryant 03:56
I would like you to make a Spot Hidden while you're fishing him out, Annette.
Virginia Lee 04:02
Okay,
Finn (Josephine) 04:03
See, I told you. They got it.
Esther Jones (Paula) 04:05
Yeah, I don't know.
Paula Deming 04:06
And then realizing that she's like, that Finn has his arm around her, and she's like, clutched on to him, she lets go, and takes a little step to the side, like,
Esther Jones (Paula) 04:16
Oh, sorry about that. I get easily startled. I'm sure they're fine.
Finn (Josephine) 04:21
Oh, you don't have to apologize.
Esther Jones (Paula) 04:22
[laughs nervously]
Virginia Lee 04:23
That Spot Hidden was a fail.
Ross Bryant 04:28
A fail. Okay, great, then you don't see what was looking at you.
Josephine McAdam 04:35
Oh, my God, Ross!
Paula Deming 04:37
Ross!
Ross Bryant 04:40
Lawrence is gasping on the concrete next to the pool.
Lawrence (Ross) 04:43
I had him. I had him. It was like, very,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 04:46
Great job, Lawrence. Great, great job.
Virginia Lee 04:48
And I'm just like patting him on the head,
Lawrence (Ross) 04:51
Thank you.
Ross Bryant 04:51
He goes for a high five and misses. [laughter]
cuppycup 04:52
Corey is like exaggerating his distress now, saying that Annette's not helping him at all, just like
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 04:58
[breathing heavily] Annette, hello? Something just grabbed me, like a pool demon, and you're just gonna stand there?
Finn (Josephine) 05:07
Corey,
cuppycup 05:08
Do I have anything on my arm? By the way, Ross?
Ross Bryant 05:12
There is one strand, if you look, of jet black hair. It's very long.
Finn (Josephine) 05:20
Corey, what happened, man? What's going on?
Esther Jones (Paula) 05:23
Do you have one of Finn's hairs on you?
cuppycup 05:26
He holds the hair up like it's radioactive, and he's like,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 05:29
Esther, this is like Bible hair, right? Pentecost hair.
Esther Jones (Paula) 05:34
It's pretty gross. Whatever it is,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 05:37
It's not Finn hair. This isn't voluminous.
Esther Jones (Paula) 05:40
This is why I wear my hair back in this tight French braid...
Finn (Josephine) 05:44
Oh, yeah.
Esther Jones (Paula) 05:45
...so that I don't leave it everywhere.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 05:47
Well, that's why you do that.
cuppycup 05:48
And he'll, like, fling it down when he realizes he's holding this disgusting hair.
Finn (Josephine) 05:53
Dude, that's what freaked you out, Corey?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 05:55
It sort of wrapped around me. It's almost like it was... alive.
Finn (Josephine) 06:01
Huh
Lawrence (Ross) 06:02
Wow, okay,
Ross Bryant 06:05
Lawrence cuts his eyes over to you, and gives a little like screwball.
Lawrence (Ross) 06:09
Excuse me while I brush my teeth and curl my hair. [laughter] This guy.
Finn (Josephine) 06:17
I mean, looks like you three got to go dry off first. Esther and I can take the locker rooms.
Lawrence (Ross) 06:24
You two will mop both locker rooms?
Finn (Josephine) 06:27
Well, you know, we'll do one of them, right Esther?
Esther Jones (Paula) 06:30
Well, y-yeah. I mean, I thought we were gonna split up girls and boys, but i-if they need to go, go dry off then, then I guess we could change our plan.
Lawrence (Ross) 06:37
Okay. Well, if you've been in there before, maybe you take girls, we'll take boys?
Esther Jones (Paula) 06:43
I've definitely been in the girls locker room before, Lawrence.
Finn (Josephine) 06:46
Oh yeah. Yeah, not a problem for me, Lawrence.
cuppycup 06:51
Corey winks at Finn like he's doing him a solid. And he's like,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 06:55
Yeah, we'll take the boys room.
Virginia Lee 07:00
I see what's going on here. And I say,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 07:01
Oh no, no, no, no way. No, no, no, we're gonna be here all night. No, no, no, no, no.
Virginia Lee 07:05
And I like thread my arm through Esther's and I just start jerking her away.
Esther Jones (Paula) 07:10
Okay, I guess we are girls and boys.
Finn (Josephine) 07:13
Annette, I said I liked the music video. Come on. You don't gotta be like this.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 07:18
You can say that as many times as you want, we both know that's bullshit!
Finn (Josephine) 07:21
[sighs]
Ross Bryant 07:24
Okay, so we are splitting up girls and boys.
Paula Deming 07:27
I think we are. I think we are.
Josephine McAdam 07:29
And as we're walking, to Corey, I'm like,
Finn (Josephine) 07:30
Did Annette just say I'm bullshit?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 07:30
No, no, no!
Finn (Josephine) 07:30
Like, that's what she- that's what she just said. That's what I just heard.
Lawrence (Ross) 07:34
That's what it sounded like to me, Finn.
Finn (Josephine) 07:37
Yeah,
cuppycup 07:40
Corey produces a tiny flask of liquor that he stole from his mom's purse. He's like,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 07:45
Hey, Finn, smell this. I made a cocktail.
Finn (Josephine) 07:48
Oh, shit. All right, Corey, maybe you can hang.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 07:53
Yeah, I mixed vodka with lime juice. No big deal. I call it a "gator bite" because it bites and I'm creative. You want some, you want a swig?
Finn (Josephine) 08:05
Yeah, we're here after hours, Corey. Yeah, I want some.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 08:08
Yeah,
Finn (Josephine) 08:08
Hit me.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 08:08
Yeah. Maybe I should have gotten a bigger container, but-
Finn (Josephine) 08:12
It's cool. I got some goods, too.
Josephine McAdam 08:14
Then I'll pull out a joint.
cuppycup 08:16
Okay,
Ross Bryant 08:17
Great, yeah,
Finn (Josephine) 08:18
Lawrence, you're cool, right, Lawrence?
Lawrence (Ross) 08:22
Yeah, absolutely. Corey, you're welcome, by the way, for saving you. [laughter] But absolutely. You know, Finn, I know you're a musician, if your little combo ever needs a cello player...
Finn (Josephine) 08:38
Oh, yeah, you shred the cello?
Lawrence (Ross) 08:40
Yeah, I made All-State Symphonic Band last year. Not to brag.
Finn (Josephine) 08:45
Yeah, I know. I'll uh, keep it in mind. Lawrence. I'll keep it in mind.
Lawrence (Ross) 08:49
Oh, I'll get the mop.
Ross Bryant 08:52
He goes in and with some keys from the office, begins to unlock a door in the locker room, if you two are ripping J's.
cuppycup 09:01
Corey hasn't even sipped it yet, but he's doing that thing where he's acting drunk. [laughter]
Virginia Lee 09:08
Yes, checks out.
Ross Bryant 09:09
Meanwhile across the park, our camera settles on the girls locker room and then pushes through the slats into it, and we catch Esther and Annette.
Esther Jones (Paula) 09:23
Glad we don't have to clean the boys locker room. I bet it's so gross in there
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 09:27
It is. I mean, yes, I- Yes, it probably is.
Esther Jones (Paula) 09:30
Have you been in there?
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 09:31
What? No. No. I mean...
Esther Jones (Paula) 09:32
No, you said with, like, a lot of confidence that, yes, it's gross in there.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 09:36
No.
Esther Jones (Paula) 09:37
Have you been in there, Annette? Okay, you can tell me. I know everyone thinks I'm a prude, and yes, I have my own standards for myself, but you can- I'm not gonna judge you.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 09:47
You know, I'm feeling very judged right now.
Esther Jones (Paula) 09:49
I'm not- No, no, I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel that way. I'm sorry, Annette, I'll just clean.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 09:55
Let's just get this job done. Okay? I need you to reach those chemicals on the high shelf because it's a little too high for me, and then we could just get this done.
Esther Jones (Paula) 10:07
Totally got it, shrimp! [laughs] That's what- that's a fun nickname everyone calls you, right? That- I hear everyone call you that, and everyone-
Virginia Lee 10:16
I'm just glaring daggers at her.
Esther Jones (Paula) 10:19
You don't like it. I am so sorry. I owe you an apology, Annette. I thought it was like-
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 10:26
You can apologize by getting the chemicals!
Esther Jones (Paula) 10:29
You don't like me [starting to tear up]
Paula Deming 10:31
And I just reach up for the chemicals and I just go,
Esther Jones (Paula) 10:34
It's fine. It's fine. I know I'm different from everyone. I'm not cool, I'm not fun. It's fine. Now I'll just get your chemicals-
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 10:38
[interrupting Esther's little breakdown] Esther. Esther. Esther! Esther!
Esther Jones (Paula) 10:41
Yes, Annette?
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 10:42
Be cool. Be cool. You are cool. We'll be cool. Okay?
Esther Jones (Paula) 10:47
Okay,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 10:48
We'll just finish this and be done, and then you can go see Finn after we finish mopping.
Esther Jones (Paula) 10:56
I don't- I don't want, I don't. No, I would not want to see Finn. That is...
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 11:02
Girl. Girl...
Esther Jones (Paula) 11:03
...trouble. That's trouble. I can't.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 11:05
...we both know that you were making...
Esther Jones (Paula) 11:06
He won't respect my boundaries. Do you know? Like,
Ross Bryant 11:09
Can you both make a Spot Hidden for me while you're having this little convo?
Virginia Lee 11:15
Yeah. Oh, that's another fail.
Paula Deming 11:17
Oh my gosh, I've- Yeah, I'm failing real bad. 89 over 40.
Ross Bryant 11:23
That's fine. Yeah, as you clean, you're handing down chemicals and chatting. You don't notice, but let's just as you're talking, let's just pan over to that shower stall, where that woman disappeared earlier, and just down to the drain and just see that water is like [blu-boong], like, bubbling up out of it, flowing out into the shower stall. There's a clog, it seems. Let's cut to the cherry burning on the end of that joint.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 11:56
Jeez, I'm plastered, Finn. Is that hitting you hard?
Finn (Josephine) 12:01
Corey, you haven't even finished your like, tiny shot. You think Annette's mad at me?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 12:10
No, how can anyone be mad at you, Finn? You're like, the coolest kid in town.
Finn (Josephine) 12:15
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 12:16
Yeah,
Finn (Josephine) 12:17
I don't know, man,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 12:19
Are we cool? I felt like I got some negative energy from you back there.
Finn (Josephine) 12:24
You think I put off negative energy?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 12:26
No, it's just that I didn't know that- you know, that time I tried to audition to play bass in your band, and then you- well, I don't play bass.
Finn (Josephine) 12:33
Oh, dude, you know whatev- Like, that's old news, man.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 12:35
I just wanted to be part of something that wasn't my dad yelling at me all the time.
Finn (Josephine) 12:42
Yeah, no, it's all right, man. I mean, you could- you can- like, we always need groupies, you know? [laughter]
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 12:48
I'd be a great groupie!
Ross Bryant 12:51
Lawrence is the one doing all the mopping behind you.
Finn (Josephine) 12:54
Yeah, what's up? Keep it up, Lawrence, you look great!
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 12:58
Hey, you've been working out, man?
Lawrence (Ross) 12:59
Sounds like you're very sensitive to criticism, Finn. My therapist sometimes says that's because you don't have a stable family structure. How are things at home, Finn?
Finn (Josephine) 13:08
Lawrence [sighs]
Josephine McAdam 13:13
Finn's gonna, like, get up off of like, he was just like, leaning back on some chair, like, brought in, like, a pool deck chair, gets up, walks over with the joint and like,
Finn (Josephine) 13:24
Lawrence, I'm gonna forget that you said that if you take a hit of this right now.
Lawrence (Ross) 13:28
I mean, I'm just saying I was really sensitive too...
Finn (Josephine) 13:28
Lawrence. Lawrence.
Lawrence (Ross) 13:28
...after my mom married Kevin...
Finn (Josephine) 13:28
Lawrence. Lawrence.
Lawrence (Ross) 13:28
And I, wha- oh.
Josephine McAdam 13:34
And puts his finger to his mouth.
Lawrence (Ross) 13:37
Okay?
Finn (Josephine) 13:39
Shhh, shhh. Lawrence. Lawrence, be cool, man. Be cool.
Lawrence (Ross) 13:44
I mean, I've never...
Finn (Josephine) 13:45
I know. I know that this is new to you.
Lawrence (Ross) 13:49
Okay,
Ross Bryant 13:50
He's looking very deeply into your eyes, and he takes a huge rip and is like,
Lawrence (Ross) 13:57
[heavy coughing]
Finn (Josephine) 13:59
Alright, Lawrence!
Ross Bryant 14:01
There's water on your ankle, Esther.
Esther Jones (Paula) 14:05
Where is this coming from? Is there a-
Paula Deming 14:07
Do I notice it's coming from the one shower stall?
Ross Bryant 14:11
It's impossible not to notice now. It's well and truly overflowing.
Esther Jones (Paula) 14:16
Oh, my God. Water's supposed to go down drains, right? [laughter]
Paula Deming 14:21
And I push open the door to the stall to see what is causing this issue.
Virginia Lee 14:27
I go,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 14:28
Did you say something?
Virginia Lee 14:29
I'm like, on the opposite side mopping.
Esther Jones (Paula) 14:31
There's, like, a clogged drain or something. There's water everywhere. It's so gross.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 14:35
Agh, god!
Virginia Lee 14:36
I'm gonna come over.
Ross Bryant 14:39
Yeah, there's water slowly bubbling up from out of the drain. And as it continues, it's growing more and more discolored, like it's cloudy and gray every now and then.
Esther Jones (Paula) 14:53
This is... I think there's a really bad- Do we have any like Drano or- there's something really bad, or- Oh, we're gonna have to go get like the snake and snake the drain,
Ross Bryant 15:02
You see something red in it.
Esther Jones (Paula) 15:04
What is this? What would- Annette, what would make the water go red?
Ross Bryant 15:09
It's not so much that the water itself is turning red, but the grate of the drain, beyond the bars of the drain, so to speak, down in the darkness of the pipe that is feeding water back up into this tiled shower, you can see something unmistakably red. If you lifted the filter cap off, you could probably reach in, and-
Esther Jones (Paula) 15:34
I think there's something in there. Yeah, Annette, you, you go.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 15:39
Oh god, okay,
Virginia Lee 15:40
And I'm gonna take the mop, and I'm gonna, like, hold it so that, like, the end of it, like the top end, I'm just gonna use that to try and just, like, pop it, like, pop the grate off of the drain, cause I don't want to touch it.
Ross Bryant 15:52
The grate flips backwards and sort of like, floats away into the corner of the shower. The water kind of [bub-boopbloob] bubbles up even more, and now you can see that there's something solid and red lodged in the pipe.
Esther Jones (Paula) 16:08
We're gonna have to get it out.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 16:11
Did you see any gloves with the chemicals?
Paula Deming 16:13
Oh, were there any cleaning gloves with the chemicals?
Ross Bryant 16:18
Roll Luck Esther and see if there are.
Paula Deming 16:20
I don't have a lot of Luck, but this works, a 31 under 40.
Esther Jones (Paula) 16:24
Oh, yes, there's some gloves!
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 16:26
Good, good, good, okay.
Paula Deming 16:27
And I hand them to Annette. [laughter]
Virginia Lee 16:31
And I roll my eyes as I take them, and I just, [pop, pop] and I walk over, and I'm just like, I'm sort of like, tiptoeing through this overflowing water, just like
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 16:42
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
Virginia Lee 16:43
It was, like seeping into my shoes, which are already wet, but they're now extra wet, they're just gonna, like...
Paula Deming 16:48
Gross,
Virginia Lee 16:49
...crouch down and just start, like, trying to pry whatever this red thing is out of the drain.
Ross Bryant 16:59
And as you pull it doesn't take a lot of strength. It's jammed, but this red mass comes up in your hand, and it's a fanny pack.
Esther Jones (Paula) 17:13
Oh my gosh. How did someone's fanny pack get in there?
Ross Bryant 17:17
As soon as it comes out of the pipe, the water begins to [glug-choon] and flow backwards, back down into the pipe.
Esther Jones (Paula) 17:24
How? Is this even...
Virginia Lee 17:27
I'm gonna start unzipping it to see what's inside.
Ross Bryant 17:31
Cool, yeah, you unzip it. It's hefty. There's a heft to it. Inside when you open it up, it's a lot of very smooth stones. It looks like little pebbles that have been worn smooth by time in water, once jagged, are now smooth and crystalline.
Esther Jones (Paula) 17:55
What's in there, Annette?
Virginia Lee 17:59
I like, stand up and turn to her, and I, like, sort of scoop a hand in, and I've got, like, my gloved hand with the pebbles, and I'm just like, holding them out. [radio static]
Esther Jones (Paula) 18:12
Is your walkie talkie going off?
Virginia Lee 18:15
I look down at my walkie talkie real fast.
Voice from the Walkie Talkie (Ross) 18:22
[rasping and distorted] Come. Home.
Ross Bryant 18:28
And that's probably when you notice that some of those stones in your hand are teeth.
Paula Deming 18:31
What?!
Virginia Lee 18:31
I dropped them immediately!
Esther Jones (Paula) 18:36
Annette, I think those are-
Ross Bryant 18:37
Yeah, maybe can I have you both roll Sanity for that? [laughter]
Josephine McAdam 18:43
You could have been getting high right now.
Paula Deming 18:46
Man, I wish. I failed my Sanity check.
Virginia Lee 18:50
I did too.
Ross Bryant 18:51
I like that.
Paula Deming 18:53
I don't.
Virginia Lee 18:55
Didn't have a lot to begin with.
Ross Bryant 18:57
I rolled badly for me. So you both only lose 1 point of Sanity,
Paula Deming 19:01
Thank goodness.
Virginia Lee 19:02
Oh, thank God.
Ross Bryant 19:03
But yes, now teeth are skittering and splashing into the remaining water, and as you look, the drain with its cap off, is creating one of those whirlpools, and a few of the teeth are now caught in that suction, and you can see them kind of like clatter down the pipe as the walkie talkie continues to warble. [static that almost sounds like words]
Esther Jones (Paula) 19:29
Annette, turn it off. Turn off the walkie talkie. Turn it off!
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 19:33
Oh God, God, God!
Virginia Lee 19:34
I turn it off. I turn it off real fast.
Ross Bryant 19:35
Make a Spot Hidden. Both of you.
Paula Deming 19:38
Come on. I have a hard success.
Virginia Lee 19:43
That is an extreme success.
Ross Bryant 19:47
You see the light bulb up above you, the sort of warm glow of that light bulb. You got, an extreme success, Annette McCormick. You know something impossible: that the reflection that you see is the wolfen reflection of the light in an eye looking at you from up the pipe. Roll Sanity again. [laughter]
Virginia Lee 20:14
Oh, no.
Paula Deming 20:15
Just Annette? Because Esther doesn't see this, so it's fine. She's fine.
Virginia Lee 20:20
Oh, that's a fail. [laughing]
Ross Bryant 20:24
That's more like it. That's a 5.
Virginia Lee 20:26
Oh, no!
Ross Bryant 20:28
You lose 5 points of Sanity because you're seeing something impossible, Annette. There's some sort of human eye looking at you from the tight aperture of this pipe. It can't possibly be moving down there, and yet it is regarding your eye, looking back at you with yearning intelligence. Speaking of intelligence, roll Intelligence...
Virginia Lee 20:53
Oh no.
Ross Bryant 20:53
...and see if you understand what you are seeing.
cuppycup 20:56
Holy cow.
Paula Deming 20:57
You want to fail this. You want to fail this roll.
Virginia Lee 21:01
I succeed.
Paula Deming 21:03
Oh...
Virginia Lee 21:04
Yeah.
Josephine McAdam 21:05
Nooo!
cuppycup 21:07
Fantastic,
Ross Bryant 21:09
Annette, what this means is that you have a Bout of Madness. So for an amount of time, it's sort of like our discretion for this fiction, your wits become unloosed. Now you can roll on tables to decide what this is, but I like to flavor this based upon what we know about these characters and where we are. I will say that what you have realized, perhaps, is that, yeah, something's in the water and something is calling to you from the water. You know that this fanny pack, this isn't a warning. It's not a trophy. It's a gift. It wants you. It wants you.
Virginia Lee 21:49
When this happens, when the madness descends, you said the pipe is overhead, right?
Ross Bryant 21:56
There's a shower pipe overhead, but the pipe that you were looking into is on the floor. You're looking down, and the eye was looking up at you from deep within its darkness.
Virginia Lee 22:06
I look up from the pipe and lock eyes with Esther, and this huge grin comes across my face, showing all of my teeth, and I go,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 22:17
We're so lucky. This is a gift.
Esther Jones (Paula) 22:20
Annette?
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 22:20
They see us and they are coming to talk and... [descends into screaming laughter]
Esther Jones (Paula) 22:25
It's not funny. I'm sorry I called you "shrimp"! Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop!
Esther Jones (Paula) 22:26
Annette? Annette, stop! This isn't funny, Annette! It's not funny, Annette, stop it!
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 22:33
[laughter continues]
Ross Bryant 22:35
And those screams are perhaps only dimly perceived by Finn and Corey. How's that marijuana sitting on you?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 22:49
God, they're having so much fun over there. I'm ripped. [laughter]
Finn (Josephine) 22:55
Yeah, feeling it, too, man.
Lawrence (Ross) 22:58
Oh, I'm definitely feeling it. I'm toned to the bone.
Finn (Josephine) 23:04
They do sound like they're having fun. That doesn't seem fair.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 23:07
Yeah,
Finn (Josephine) 23:09
You want to see my tattoo?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 23:12
You have a tattoo? Wow,
Finn (Josephine) 23:15
Yes. Some fresh ink.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 23:17
Where is- where is it?
Josephine McAdam 23:20
I feel like he, like, pulls up his shirt and on his chest, like on his left pec is a devil biting into a heart and underneath it just says, "Bite me."
Paula Deming 23:34
Yeah, yeah.
Lawrence (Ross) 23:36
Wow.
cuppycup 23:36
Corey, just, kind of like, mindlessly reaches out to touch the tattoo.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 23:41
Whoa,
Ross Bryant 23:41
Yeah, Lawrence is kind of also like going for it. [laughter]
Finn (Josephine) 23:47
Anyway, should we see what the girls are up to?
Lawrence (Ross) 23:49
I guess I- Yeah. I'm sure the girls- Yeah, [laughter]
Ross Bryant 23:55
And make a Spot Hidden as you depart the spotless locker room that Lawrence has cleaned. Lawrence will roll too. Why not?
Josephine McAdam 24:05
That's a regular success from Finn.
cuppycup 24:09
I failed. I'm locked on to the tattoo.
Ross Bryant 24:11
Lawrence got an extreme success,
Paula Deming 24:13
Wow.
Josephine McAdam 24:13
Oh, shit. Yeah, Lawrence,
Ross Bryant 24:14
I think how this manifests, because you got a success to Finn. I think-
Josephine McAdam 24:18
Just a regular, yeah
Ross Bryant 24:19
I think what you hear before you see, Lawrence kind of go like,
Lawrence (Ross) 24:23
[gasp]
Ross Bryant 24:23
And just point, and you follow his finger to the opening of the staircase where the sort of scaffolding leads you up to the very top of Gator Gorge, the tallest water slide at the park. And standing there at the edge of the stairs is Ripper the Gator, the big plush mascot with the big goofy eyes and the flipped up cap, is just standing there. Looking at you.
Finn (Josephine) 25:02
Hey, dude, what's up?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 25:05
Hey, Kristen, is that you?
Ross Bryant 25:07
The gator raises a plush arm and waves at you slowly.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 25:14
Hey, Finn man, do you know her? She's hot.
Finn (Josephine) 25:16
Oh, shit, is she?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 25:18
Yeah, she's like,
Finn (Josephine) 25:20
Okay, hold on, let's-[clears throat] Follow my lead, boys.
Ross Bryant 25:23
The hand turns around and sort of beckons you. And then the gator turns and begins to walk up the stairs.
Josephine McAdam 25:30
Oh, we're following.
Finn (Josephine) 25:31
Okay, yeah, you want to get up to a little fun, Kristen? [laughter]
cuppycup 25:38
[laughing] Right on theme, so into her.
Paula Deming 25:44
Yeah.
Lawrence (Ross) 25:44
Finn, does that work? [laughter]
Finn (Josephine) 25:46
Yeah, more than you'd think.
Ross Bryant 25:50
So as you walk, I think it makes logical sense, perhaps- I don't know what Esther and Annette are up to right now. Are you running out of the locker room or doing something else?
Paula Deming 25:59
Esther wants to get out of there. So if Annette is still screaming, or laughing, excuse me, then Esther will just start crying and run out to try and get to the boys. And if so, Annette, you can decide what you do. But yes, Esther is crying and leaving the women's locker room, yes.
Virginia Lee 26:19
After she leaves, the cackling dies down, and then she's just sort of very subdued, and then just silently walks out.
Josephine McAdam 26:30
God.
Virginia Lee 26:30
Following Esther.
Ross Bryant 26:34
Yeah, often these Bouts of Madness have an attendant, sort of like delusion or compulsion attached to them. What do you think that is for you? Or paranoia of some kind. Or obsession.
Virginia Lee 26:50
Obsession. I feel like obsession. We need teeth and we need smiles, [laughter] and this whole place is fed on smiles during the day and at night time there is a shortage of smiles, so I'm gonna do my damnedest to make everybody smile.
Ross Bryant 27:08
Okay, yes.
Virginia Lee 27:09
With force, if necessary.
Paula Deming 27:12
Oh, my gosh, so creepy.
Ross Bryant 27:16
Great, yeah, so Finn and Corey, you see Esther and then Annette emerges behind with a horrible rictus grin that never fades. If we're all merging together to move towards the stairs up to Gator Gulch.
Josephine McAdam 27:33
Yeah, wait, what's the mascot's name, again?
Ross Bryant 27:37
Ripper.
Josephine McAdam 27:37
Ripper. Ripper, okay.
Finn (Josephine) 27:40
Hey, we just saw- you won't believe it. We just saw Ripper. Ripper's heading up the slide. We thought, I thought we could all go up the slide. You in Esther? Annette?
Esther Jones (Paula) 27:52
Uh, I don't know. There was a really horrible-
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 27:55
I think that's a great idea.
Esther Jones (Paula) 27:56
Oh. Annette, I wish you would stop playing this prank. Everyone, Annette is playing a really mean prank on me. We had a horrible clog in the drain and we found a bag of teeth, and now she won't stop smiling. I think she's mad at me because I called her shrimp. Did you all know that shrimp is not a fun, friendly nickname? Annette doesn't like it.
Finn (Josephine) 28:13
What about shortstack?
Esther Jones (Paula) 28:16
I bet she doesn't like that one either.
Finn (Josephine) 28:18
Is that also out?
Virginia Lee 28:19
Annette turns to Finn and is like,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 28:22
Finn, you can call me whatever you'd like.
Finn (Josephine) 28:28
Oh, wow. All right. All right, fun-size.
Esther Jones (Paula) 28:33
[laughs]
Virginia Lee 28:34
And then Annette just starts going,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 28:37
[manically laughing]
Finn (Josephine) 28:38
Yeah, okay.
cuppycup 28:39
Corey turns around and goes,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 28:40
You know, Annette, you are mascot height. You could actually be Ripper.
Ross Bryant 28:44
I want to say that you've probably pulled a few shifts as Ripper or his girlfriend, Sally Snapper, the snapping turtle. [laughter]
Virginia Lee 28:52
Yes! Absolutely.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 28:57
Hey. Did you all hear that the first summer this place was open, a kid died on this slide. And they say,
Esther Jones (Paula) 29:03
No, stop. Stop, Corey.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 29:05
No, no, this is real. They say, if you hit the seams just right, you can feel teeth in there like they're embedded.
Finn (Josephine) 29:16
Shit.
Esther Jones (Paula) 29:17
Stop. Corey, stop. What? No.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 29:20
Yes, it's true. It's true.
Esther Jones (Paula) 29:21
I don't believe you.
Finn (Josephine) 29:24
You'll be all right, Esther.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 29:25
No, that's why tickets are so cheap. That's why hot dogs are 50 cents. This place? This place runs on bad karma.
Esther Jones (Paula) 29:33
Oh my gosh, it makes sense.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 29:36
Yeah.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 29:37
Come on, Esther.
Josephine McAdam 29:39
As we're going up the steps.
Ross Bryant 29:42
Corey, that's such perfect bad kid folklore. [laughter] Like there's like, bad kids are such great repositories for sick and twisted folklore of places. Can you roll an Education or History for me?
cuppycup 29:57
Yeah, as he's telling them,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 29:59
No. It's going to be in the next Faces of Death movie.
cuppycup 30:03
Oh, my God, I fumbled. I rolled a 96
Paula Deming 30:07
Oh no!
Josephine McAdam 30:09
Ha ha ha
Ross Bryant 30:10
Cool.
Josephine McAdam 30:11
Great.
cuppycup 30:13
Give me that bad history, Ross.
Ross Bryant 30:14
Bad, bad history. Okay, well, here's the bad history. You can figure out if this is true or not, but this is the bad kid folk wisdom that Corey learned. All of Rippin' River is built up around the river that passes by, of course, the old Bland Cabin where Robert and Virginia Bland founded this little community. And the folklore about them is that they were like, you know, proud, upstanding yeoman of the colonial era, hewing a life out of the virgin earth here, but you and the other twisted kids know that they suffered terrible tragedy over the course of their lives, that Robert and Virginia lost so many children that, it was said the bend in the river here was cursed, that they had brought a curse with them. And Virginia Bland died under mysterious circumstances. And the rumor that you've heard is that all that's just, you know, crazy folklore, that this whole park, man is to revere this guy, Robert Bland, who was actually like a psycho killer, who probably killed his whole family, and who knows how many other people. He was the Lincolnshire Ripper. That's why they call it "Rippin' River."
cuppycup 31:36
Since it's a fumble, can we say, like, I'm telling the others this story on the way up the stairs, and I'm, like, scaring the shit out of myself. [laughter] Totally buying into this.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 31:47
And the Bla- the Bla- that's why they call it Ripper River, right? That... that's probably why.
Finn (Josephine) 31:59
Yeah, that's actually, like, way cooler than I thought,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 32:01
Oh my god.
Esther Jones (Paula) 32:04
There's no way that's true.
Finn (Josephine) 32:06
Esther, just hold on.
Josephine McAdam 32:07
And Finn takes Esther's hand to lead her up the stairs.
Esther Jones (Paula) 32:14
Okay.
Ross Bryant 32:15
You come to the very top. It's quite high. The moon is up, and you can see the swampy forest beyond the fence that surrounds the park stretching off around you. And the dead eyed plush mascot is there ahead of you, next to the big opening of the water slide, and in the big foamy three-fingered hand pushes a button and you hear a [beep-beep of a warning alarm] and then the water starts up, and the inactive water slide that was shut down at closing time sputters to life and water flows down. The gator kind of turns towards you and sits down where the lifeguard would normally sit next to the opening of the water slide.
Esther Jones (Paula) 33:01
Kristen, why are you here after hours?
Ross Bryant 33:04
No answer.
cuppycup 33:07
Corey takes a step forward.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 33:09
Kristen? Could you- could you take the mask off? I- I always wanted to see what it's like in there.
Ross Bryant 33:18
Totally still, looking at you again with those lifeless, gatory eyes, the smiling, sharp teeth, not unlike the weird smile that never seems to leave Annette McCormick's face,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 33:31
May I?
cuppycup 33:31
And he, like, walks toward her with like two hands out like he's gonna remove the mask.
Ross Bryant 33:36
Yeah, go for it.
cuppycup 33:39
She's not reacting?
Ross Bryant 33:41
Not reacting at all.
Virginia Lee 33:43
Oh, my gosh,
Ross Bryant 33:43
Totally still.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 33:44
I'm just- I'm just gonna- I'm just gonna check.
Josephine McAdam 33:49
I think Finn like, in that, in that same moment as you're about to, like, grab the mask, like, sort of whispers to Esther, like
Finn (Josephine) 33:54
Eh, she's probably just high out of her mind. Seen this before.
Esther Jones (Paula) 33:59
Yeah, totally. That's probably it. [nervous laughter]
Lawrence (Ross) 34:02
We're so high up here, you could see forever up here. Wow.
Ross Bryant 34:08
Lawrence is baked.
Esther Jones (Paula) 34:10
Lawrence, did you- Did you smoke marijuana, Lawrence?
Lawrence (Ross) 34:16
Oh, I um... just a tender little toke, you know?
Esther Jones (Paula) 34:20
Oh, I didn't know you did that. Okay.
Finn (Josephine) 34:22
It's not so bad. Esther, it's not so bad.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 34:27
Esther, I have vodka.
cuppycup 34:29
Oh, I'm taking the mask. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 34:33
Corey, as soon as you touch the mask, you notice that it is waterlogged and spongy.
Paula Deming 34:38
Oh, no.
Josephine McAdam 34:41
And we're all watching. We're all clued in on this.
Ross Bryant 34:43
Oh yeah, you're all clued in on this. So when the mask comes off and where you should be seeing the head of the young woman who usually wears it, just a gout of grayish water pours out over the foamy body of the mascot suit, as the whole thing sort of slumps over and water washes out and dribbles through the slats of the scaffolding. There is nothing in this suit but water.
Esther Jones (Paula) 35:13
Where's her head?
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 35:14
What the fuck?!
Finn (Josephine) 35:15
[very drawn out] What?
Esther Jones (Paula) 35:16
Where's her head?! How's it- We all saw it moving, right?
Ross Bryant 35:19
Roll Sanity, everyone.
Paula Deming 35:21
Yeah,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 35:21
And she walked up the goddamn stairs.
Paula Deming 35:24
Somehow I, like… hard success on that for some reason.
Josephine McAdam 35:31
Oh yeah.
cuppycup 35:32
I also have a hard success. I think that I'm so relieved I don't have to talk to the girl.
Josephine McAdam 35:39
Hard success,
Ross Bryant 35:40
Incredible.
Esther Jones (Paula) 35:42
This is- we imagined it. It was sitting up here the whole time. We just imagined- it was a trick of the light making us think that it was moving.
Finn (Josephine) 35:50
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you might be getting some secondhand
Ross Bryant 35:54
Those who failed lose 2 points of Sanity. Those who succeeded 1.
Josephine McAdam 35:59
Half of us are high.
cuppycup 36:01
On the 1 point, since you still have some kind of reaction, could I actually, like, pick the mask up and look inside it, and then if it looks like it's just wet, I want to put it on? Like,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 36:13
What's going on? Hey, y'all, I'm gonna put it on just for a second, just to prove it's fine.
cuppycup 36:18
He's like a kid who can't stop pushing buttons.
Ross Bryant 36:21
Yeah, okay, great, absolutely you can. You put the soggy mask on over your own head.
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 36:28
[muted slightly by the mask] Hey, Finn, it's me, Kristen.
Esther Jones (Paula) 36:34
Corey! That's in bad taste, Corey.
Ross Bryant 36:37
It's actually kind of hard to breathe in there. It's so spongy with water, and you're looking out through the little filmy strip that the human wearer of this mask actually looks through, not the eyes themselves, which are sort of like up by the top of your head. But as you look through that mesh and turn around, Corey, you're looking down over the park and looking through the mask down into the Lazy Lagoon, you see dozens of figures bobbing in the water, like bumping lifelessly into one another, drowned and bloated. Their eyes white and rolled back into their heads, their hair stringy, their flesh pale and slick, and their heads swivel in their watery fastness and look back at you. Look towards you. They are aware of you. Roll Sanity.
cuppycup 37:48
I did pass. I have a 40 under 48.
Paula Deming 37:52
Wow.
Ross Bryant 37:53
Great. You lose 1 more point of Sanity.
cuppycup 37:56
I do think that's gonna make me at least like slip and fall down the slide.
Ross Bryant 38:00
Oh, I love it when people just hand me things on a plate. Yeah, um.
Josephine McAdam 38:05
I was gonna say, you have to fall over at this point, right?
cuppycup 38:07
Oh, yeah. This is- that's a lot.
Ross Bryant 38:11
Yes, Corey, so how does this look? How does this shock register? What do the rest of your friends see as you topple down the chute of the slide?
cuppycup 38:19
Oh, it looks terrible. I think he turns to kind of look at all of them, and then he steps backwards, thinking that he's gonna find, like, a solid landing, and he just steps into air. Basically,
Finn (Josephine) 38:30
Oh shit!
Ross Bryant 38:31
I want to say that this, this slide, is, like, totally tubular, fully enclosed. It is a pipe.
Josephine McAdam 38:37
Okay.
cuppycup 38:37
Yeah, he kind of ran. Maybe he bumped his head, like on the top of the tube, and now he's like, he's going down, like in a very unnatural position, kind of like squeezed in, like he's doing a sit up.
Paula Deming 38:37
Oh no.
Ross Bryant 38:38
Give me a Dodge roll. I want to see if you take damage from this fall.
cuppycup 38:54
From the teeth? Oh, man, Dodge roll. Oh, that's got to be good. It's a 10.
Josephine McAdam 39:00
Oh, nice.
cuppycup 39:02
Why am I rolling so well? Yeah, hard success.
Ross Bryant 39:05
The rest of you see Corey, somewhat gracefully, topple backwards into the pipe and you just like [sound of scream getting more distant]. And washed down the pipe. [laughter]
Virginia Lee 39:08
I turn to everybody with my still monstrous grin, and I say,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 39:19
That looks like fun. We should all go down.
Esther Jones (Paula) 39:23
It's not funny anymore.
Finn (Josephine) 39:25
Annette, go. I mean, yeah, go down. Annette, you should go.
Lawrence (Ross) 39:31
I'm not scared!
Ross Bryant 39:32
And Lawrence, like, puts his hands on the bar above the aperture of the pipe. It's like
Lawrence (Ross) 39:37
A-one, a-two, a-three. Whoa!
cuppycup 39:42
I'd love to think because of the way Corey went down, that Lawrence just like goes feet first into him and pushes him the rest of the way.
Finn (Josephine) 39:49
Yeah, you gotta wait for the bodies to, you know, go all the way down.
Esther Jones (Paula) 39:52
Yeah, that's the rule of the park. You have to wait until the one comes out at the bottom before you let the next kid go in, you know. You can't just go in one right after the other. You get hurt that way.
Finn (Josephine) 40:01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ross Bryant 40:02
That's right, you should probably look down and see when they come out.
Paula Deming 40:06
Okay, I will, yes. Esther will go immediately and, like, almost going into the like, muscle memory of what her job often is, which is to keep an eye on these things. So she goes and looks to see when they come out of the bottom of the slide.
Virginia Lee 40:19
While Esther does that, I'm going to sort of soften my smile a little, and I'm going to look at Finn, and I'm going to take his hand and I'm going to say,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 40:32
Finn, don't you want to get out of here and get out of this park and maybe...
Finn (Josephine) 40:44
Annette. Annette, Annette, Annette, [laughter] we've done this before, Annette. We've been here before. Come on. You remember how it ended last time?
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 40:54
We can start again, Finn. Just the two of us.
Finn (Josephine) 41:00
Annette, I'm kind of like a one-and-done, you know? [laughter] Like, you know, it was glorious, because it happened once, you know?
Josephine McAdam 41:13
And Finn's like glancing back at Esther, you know, every now, like
Finn (Josephine) 41:17
I, I just got, you know, I got my sights. I just [sighs]
Virginia Lee 41:24
I'm gonna say,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 41:24
Well, I understand, but I think she'd think it was just really cool if you just... go. Meet her at the bottom...
Finn (Josephine) 41:35
Oh yeah?
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 41:36
... with your arms open wide, you can catch her and...
Finn (Josephine) 41:40
Oh, hey.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 41:40
...wrap her in your arms and sweep her up just like you did with me.
Finn (Josephine) 41:45
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 41:46
Kiss her. It'll be so hot. You should do it, Finn. You should do it. [laughter]
Finn (Josephine) 41:53
All right. All right. Wingman McCormick here. Yeah, good call. All right. Hey, Esther, I'll see you down there. [laughter]
Esther Jones (Paula) 42:03
Oh, wait. I haven't seen them come out yet, Finn.
Ross Bryant 42:05
Yeah, no one's come out. Finn's already down the pipe.
Josephine McAdam 42:09
Grabs the like,
Finn (Josephine) 42:10
Esther, I'll catch you,
Josephine McAdam 42:11
And just shoots on down.
Ross Bryant 42:14
Esther, make a Spot Hidden, or a Listen Roll.
Paula Deming 42:16
My Listen is a little bit better, so I'm gonna Listen.
Ross Bryant 42:19
I think a Listen is more appropriate.
Paula Deming 42:22
Yeah. Okay, so I have a 60 in this, so let's see. Oh! You know what? I will spend 2 Luck points to make that an extreme success.
Ross Bryant 42:32
Here's what you hear.
Josephine McAdam 42:33
Oh, no,
Ross Bryant 42:35
Something that your unintoxicated perception grasped that Finn's did not before he shot down the tube, is that that beautiful speech that Annette gave, grinning into Finn's ear, you were almost hearing it in stereo, somehow. It is strange, and you realize that because of that extreme success that you were hearing the voice doubled because when Annette was saying, "Go down, she wants to wrap you in her arms," that there was a voice saying the exact same thing coming out of the walkie talkie,
Voice from the Walkie Talkie (Ross) 43:10
[distorted and staticky] Go down. She wants to wrap you in her arms. Go down.
Ross Bryant 43:22
Whispering alongside Annette's voice, doubling it persuasively. And now Annette is leering, grinning, looking at you,
Esther Jones (Paula) 43:33
Annette, I think we need to get rid of that walkie talkie. Will you give it to me?
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 43:37
No, I will not.
Esther Jones (Paula) 43:40
Please? No, please? Please let me have it, okay, I'm gonna take it from you if you don't let me have it,
Virginia Lee 43:47
I like, clip it off and I have it in my hand. I say,
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 43:49
[tauntingly] Well, you'll have to come and get it.
Virginia Lee 43:52
And then I go down. [laughter]
Esther Jones (Paula) 43:53
No! Why is this always happening?
Paula Deming 43:59
Also. I didn't need to spend 2 Luck. I did bad math. I just naturally had an extreme success.
Josephine McAdam 44:05
Nice.
Paula Deming 44:05
And I cross myself, and I say a quick Lord's prayer, and then I go down the slide,
cuppycup 44:13
Because you crossed yourself, you're the only one who comes out.
Ross Bryant 44:21
Can I get a group Luck roll? Just tell me everyone's relative level of success?
Paula Deming 44:26
Yes.
cuppycup 44:27
Oh, you want everyone to roll luck, not just the lowest?
Ross Bryant 44:29
Everybody roll Luck and I want to see if everybody succeeds, or if anyone fails, or...
cuppycup 44:35
I have a regular success. 36 under 55.
Virginia Lee 44:39
I have a regular success as well.
Josephine McAdam 44:41
I mean no surprise, Finn's Luck is really high.
cuppycup 44:43
[laughing] He's always getting lucky?
Josephine McAdam 44:45
Yeah, I got a hard success.
Paula Deming 44:48
I failed.
Ross Bryant 44:50
Wonderful. [laughter]
Paula Deming 44:54
Not a fumble, but it… just a fail. Yeah.
Ross Bryant 44:58
Corey, Finn, Annette. The slide is longer than you remember. There are more bends in it somehow. It just keeps going down, down, down. It's got to be your imagination that it seems twice, three times as long. It can't be the case. And perhaps the little kid folklore of Corey comes back to you because this is a poorly constructed amusement park, and the segments of this tubular slide, every time that there's a seam, you feel it just slightly abrade your back, [scht, scht, scht] as you go down, but you feel that you're coming any moment now to the terminus. Esther, you're going down, and you have this exact same experience. And then something happens that- you've ridden this slide before. You've ridden all these rides countless times.
Paula Deming 45:52
Yeah,
Ross Bryant 45:52
The tube of the slide is banking around a curve, and then it sort of flattens out, and then it is totally flat until your momentum gives out and you stop.
Virginia Lee 46:06
Oh my gosh,
Ross Bryant 46:08
The tube is flat in a way you don't recall it being. The water continues to rush by you. You're in almost total darkness. The only light coming through is through those very small seams and through the occasional bolt hole in the top of the tube. You just hear that rushing of the water.
Paula Deming 46:31
No, I don't like it. Okay, I'll start crawling forward. I have to get to the end of this. This is horrible, and I don't want to be trapped here. Just, yeah.
Esther Jones (Paula) 46:40
Uh, Finn? Annette? Corey? Lawrence? Are you up ahead? Where are you? You should be right here.
Ross Bryant 46:46
The resonating chamber of the tube makes it sound like the voice is coming from everywhere at once. The water around your hands and knees has turned that grayish color.
Voice from the Tube (Ross) 46:51
Come.
Esther Jones (Paula) 46:51
I don't like this. I don't like this. Why is this happening?
Ross Bryant 47:08
Then in just the tiny pinprick of light ahead of you and the running water illuminating the water ahead of you, you can see something floating caught in the rush of the water.
Esther Jones (Paula) 47:23
Okay, okay. I just need to clear- clear the drain, clear the blockage, and everything's gonna be okay. That's the job. You clear the drain, clear the blockage, and then the water went back down.
Paula Deming 47:34
So I just start, like crawling toward it to go get whatever it is, because I've decided, in my mind, this must be... the drain must be blocked.
Ross Bryant 47:43
Yes. You reach for the blockage, I assume?
Paula Deming 47:46
Yes.
Ross Bryant 47:47
And the hair that strokes against your fingertips makes nausea rise up in your throat. But maybe more than that is the way it quickly moves through your fingers, and you can dimly see faintly in the light, the head that it is connected to, as she - you can see it's a she - pale, the pallor of a dead fish, rising up in the tube. Her spindly, double-jointed limbs, probing the edges of the tube in front of you. Her gimlet eyes just picking up that light and reflecting it back at you, goggling at you in the darkness. And you thought Annette's smile was wide. This one is wider. Her cheekbones emaciated and deep set as she looms towards you and in the light the last thing you perhaps, your senses can grasp about her is the deep green of her teeth.
Paula Deming 48:55
Ewww. No!
Ross Bryant 48:58
Roll Sanity.
Paula Deming 49:01
Yeah. Come on. Wow! I rolled a 4.
Josephine McAdam 49:07
Oh, hell yeah.
Esther Jones (Paula) 49:08
It's all right. I know exactly what this is. You are a demon, and my faith is going to protect me from you. I don't have to be scared. Get behind me, Satan! [laughter]
Ross Bryant 49:21
Great, yes. The power of the Lord.
cuppycup 49:24
Wow.
Ross Bryant 49:27
With unnatural speed, the speed of running water, she lurches towards you with long claw-like fingernails, and just pounces on you. And the last thing you see is her leering face, her green teeth as her enormous, spindly spider-like hand, soaking wet, closes over your face!
Esther Jones (Paula) 49:49
Agh!
Ross Bryant 49:50
[splash] Annette, you hit the water and you're out of your Bout of Madness, I want to say, as you come out. And you are bobbing in the pool along with Finn and Corey.
Josephine McAdam 50:04
Well, I think I accidentally catch her. Cause I'm like,
Finn (Josephine) 50:06
Where's Esther? Annette? I thought you were gonna send Esther down.
Virginia Lee 50:11
Do I remember anything from my Bout of Madness?
Ross Bryant 50:16
You may be trying to rationalize it, but you do. The echoes of it remain in your mind, but your consciousness is trying to get on top of it.
Annette McCormick (Virginia) 50:24
Oh, god. Oh, Finn! Oh, oh, God, oh, no. Umm... shit. Where's Esther?
Finn (Josephine) 50:34
[calling out] Esther!
Ross Bryant 50:37
It echoes back up the tube. Esther, Esther, Esther. [quieter on each repetition]
Finn (Josephine) 50:39
Don't be scared.
Ross Bryant 50:39
[echoing] Don't be scared. Don't be scared. Don't be scared.
Finn (Josephine) 50:49
Do you think she didn't-
Voice from the Tube (Ross) 50:50
[louder on each repetition] Come home. Come home. Come home. Come home!
Josephine McAdam 50:53
Oh, shi-
Virginia Lee 50:54
Oh!
Josephine McAdam 50:55
Wait, that was so terrifying. [laughter]
cuppycup 51:01
Should we roll SAN?
Ross Bryant 51:03
Yeah, roll Sanity, Finn, yeah.
cuppycup 51:05
Did we all hear it, Ross? Or is it just Finn?
Ross Bryant 51:07
I think so. I think you did.
Josephine McAdam 51:10
Oh, man,
cuppycup 51:12
I'm just gonna pass every SAN check. 17.
Ross Bryant 51:16
Did anyone fail?
Josephine McAdam 51:17
I just- No, no, yeah. Finn...
Virginia Lee 51:19
I did. Again.
Josephine McAdam 51:21
Finn just failed.
cuppycup 51:22
Yeah,
Josephine McAdam 51:22
I have super high Sanity, but 83 is over by 3 points
cuppycup 51:27
Oh, wow,
Ross Bryant 51:29
You lose three points of Sanity.
Virginia Lee 51:32
Do I lose 3 points as well? I also failed.
Ross Bryant 51:35
If you failed your Sanity roll, yes.
Virginia Lee 51:37
I did. How many-
Ross Bryant 51:38
Remind me? Oh, yes. How many uh-
Virginia Lee 51:41
Mine's quite low to begin with. It was 35 and now it's 24 [laughing]
Paula Deming and cuppycup 51:48
Oh no,
Josephine McAdam 51:49
Shit.
Paula Deming 51:50
You just came back to yourself,
Josephine McAdam 51:53
Bad. That's real bad, Annette.
cuppycup 51:56
Just for five seconds, Annette was normal.
Ross Bryant 51:58
Oh God, for one moment,
Virginia Lee 52:00
[laughing] The clouds parted, and then came back in.
Ross Bryant 52:07
You're crashing out. [laughter] Annette, you are indefinitely insane. You know. You know. You know Esther's not coming back. You know none of you are coming back because there's nowhere to go back to. Because you're already home. She's brought you home.
Virginia Lee 52:35
As those thoughts come into my head, I'm saying them with this grin that just gets bigger and bigger and bigger on my face.
cuppycup 52:44
And Corey turns around and he's like,
Corey Turner (cuppycup) 52:46
Don't the slides seem so much longer when they don't play the Ghostbusters theme when you're coming down? [laughter]
Ross Bryant 52:52
Lawrence is face down in the water. [laughter] Maybe none of you have noticed, he's a bad swimmer. Apparently, he got turned around in there.
Paula Deming 53:00
Oh no,
Virginia Lee 53:01
Oh no.
Josephine McAdam 53:02
I think since Finn didn't pass the Sanity check too, is just like at the bottom of the slide, like shouting back up, like,
Finn (Josephine) 53:09
Esther, what the fuck? It's not funny. Esther?
Voice from the Tube (Ross) 53:13
[echoing] Esther. Esther. [becoming more distorted] Esher. Esler.
Finn (Josephine) 53:17
Yeah, whatever
Ross Bryant 53:20
In this space, do you want to fight against this thing, Esther?
Paula Deming 53:24
Ah yes, I do, because you can't let the devil win. So yes, I do want to fight against it.
Ross Bryant 53:32
Go for it. First, of course, it was closing on you. It'll take a swipe at you here. Here we go.
Paula Deming 53:41
I don't have a great Fighting (Brawl). Come on. Come on. Come on, little dice, be nice. [gasp] I just made a regular success on my Fighting (Brawl). What did she get?
Ross Bryant 53:57
That's so awesome. The power of the Lord flows through you. [laughter]
Paula Deming 54:02
[singing] This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.
Ross Bryant 54:09
And then it crashes into the hard success that she got. [laughter]
Paula Deming 54:13
Oh no! No!
cuppycup 54:16
Ross was the devil all along.
Paula Deming 54:19
I knew there's no way she got just a regular success,
Ross Bryant 54:24
7 points of damage.
Ross Bryant 54:26
[gasps]
cuppycup 54:26
Oh, my God,
Paula Deming 54:28
That's so many. I'm not dead.
Ross Bryant 54:33
That was the first time I've really rolled well here.
cuppycup 54:37
Yeah. Is that more than half of your total hit points?
Paula Deming 54:40
Yes, it is more than half.
Ross Bryant 54:42
Give me a CON roll to see if you stay conscious.
Paula Deming 54:45
Oh, come on. I do stay conscious. 31 under 45
Ross Bryant 54:51
That's good.
cuppycup 54:52
Whew.
Ross Bryant 54:54
This spider-like slick hand closes over your head. It's the kind of crushing that you instantly associate with the pressure of deep water as you feel the pressure of thousands of square feet of water suddenly crushing against your skull as she is in front of you, not just crushing you, but pouring into you. In a way, the orifices of the human body are their own sorts of drains, [laughter] and there is water flowing upstream into your nose, into your mouth, into your ears. And yes, you are dreadfully, dreadfully conscious for this. What would you like to do?
Paula Deming 55:47
Can I try and just like, break away from her and, like, run away? Can I try and escape?
Ross Bryant 55:51
Try and break that grasp. Yeah, I think that would also be a Fighting (Brawl) for the maneuver.
Paula Deming 55:57
Oh, gosh. That is still a regular success, but it is a success.
Ross Bryant 56:05
Okay,
Paula Deming 56:06
I can't spend Luck on an opposed roll like this, right? Or, can I?
cuppycup 56:11
You can't push it, but you can usually spend Luck.
Ross Bryant 56:14
Yeah, Luck can be used to modify non-fumbled combat rolls.
Paula Deming 56:19
I would like to spend 7 points of Luck to convert this hard success, excuse me, a regular success to a hard success.
Ross Bryant 56:26
You slither out of her grasp, and you suddenly feel yourself fall, plunge, and the last thing you see is her smiling face, like whips around you into the darkness, her stringy, wet hair just like hanging over her eyes, and you can tell she's still smiling at you as you wash down the pipe, gasping for air. She was inside you. [sounds of distress from the players]
cuppycup 56:57
Wow,
Virginia Lee 56:58
Great.