The TV Static Lies 1/3 with Katie Marovitch

[00:00:00] Rusty Quill Presents Push The Roll with Ross Bryant is intended for mature listeners only. Check the show notes for content warnings and please listen with care. Want to get involved? Back us on Patreon and submit your ideas for our improvised games. Your suggestion just might inspire our next Call of Cthulhu adventure. Join today at patreon.com slash push the roll.

[00:00:26] Today's show is sponsored by Die Hard Dice, who is offering our listeners a special discount code to use at their website, dieharddice.com. So just head on over there and use the discount code PTR to get 10% off your order. Die Hard Dice has been great to work with and are genuinely fans of this show, which was super endearing and I appreciate it so much. The dice themselves are really high quality and come with a lifetime guarantee. I'm loving all the awesome colors and hues that they come in.

[00:00:55] And I especially love the little dice tray scroll that I got where it rolls out into a dice tray, but each umbilicus of the scroll is a little caddy that you can put your dice into. It's perfect for packing it down if you need to go to a convention or a friend's house to play in person, which people actually still do. So head on over to dieharddice.com and punch in the discount code PTR for 10% off your order.

[00:01:18] Move in, now move out, hands up, no hands down, back up, back up. Let me show you what I'm going to do now. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling. I believe it was one of our finest poets, Fred Durst, who said that we keep rolling, rolling, rolling. And today we are rolling. We are pushing rolls, folks. And I'm excited. I don't know what we're going to do. We're getting ready to break stuff.

[00:01:44] Ross, did you know you were going to come in and do that? Or did it just start coming out of your mouth and you went with it? I was just activated like a sleeper cell and it all started falling out of my mouth. As I suspected. Oh my God. Yes. Give me something to break. That's right. I'm excited to break everything down because we're stepping into chaos right now. We're selecting one of the titles submitted by our Patreon subscribers and using it to inspire a completely improvised Call of Cthulhu scenario.

[00:02:14] And wow, what a bunch of voices we've heard. I'm so excited to be playing with this group today. We've already heard her voice. She's the Wes Borland to my Fred Durst. You can see her over there in a totally blacked out contact lenses. It's Paula Deming. That's me. My eyes are deep, dark, charcoal depths of edginess.

[00:02:43] When I think of edgelord, I think of Paula Deming. That's me, guys. That's why my voice is slightly raspier than normal today. That's the reason. That's right. I don't know how long I can keep up the Limp Bizkit stuff, but the... But yes. Try. Over there, the DJ lethal of our podcast, it's Rashawn Scott. Hey, if I'm going to do it all for anything, it's going to be the Nookie. Okay? Yes.

[00:03:13] Good to be here, folks. Good to see everyone. Wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. And then there's Cup. Cup's also here. Our new sponsor is like, why this episode? Why are we doing Limp Bizkit? It's just one of those days. It's just one of those days where you don't want to wake up. I feel like maybe I'm part of the opening act. Like, I can be part of Primus if you're running out of Limp Bizkit, folks.

[00:03:38] Oh, yeah. Yes. We've got to break out. Maybe coming through the corn field or perhaps kicking down the door of the coal chamber. It's our very special guest, Katie Marovitch. Hello. Hello. I only listened to opera in middle school. Oh, my gosh. Little Pirates of Penzance. I loved Charlotte Church and I just listened constantly.

[00:04:09] So you see, everyone, we contain multitudes. We like both Nu Metal and Vivaldi and Tosca. From Light Operetta to Slipknot, push the roll is all things to all people. But the reason that we're saying rolling so much is not just because rolling is in the name of this dang show, Push the Roll with Ross Bryant. It's also because we happen to be rolling die here. And not just any die. We have a wonderful sponsor.

[00:04:38] We have a dice sponsor in the form of Die Hard Dice. We're so happy to have this sponsorship. It's our first one. Pretty cool. And Die Hard Dice is an excellent dice company. They make beautiful, beautiful little objects to tumble around and read your fate. You can check them out at dieharddice.com. And wouldn't you know it, they've got a discount code for our listeners. So just use the discount code PTR for 10% off your purchase at dieharddice.com.

[00:05:07] But wait, that's not all. What? There's more? How could there be more? There is more because... There's always room for more. There's always room for more. In fact, the title givers of today's episode will be receiving a $50 gift card from dieharddice.com. That is so cool. That's exciting. Whoa. I love that. Yes, that's right. So rolling, rolling, rolling indeed.

[00:05:32] They also sent us like handwritten notes with the dice that they sent to us. It is so cute. Yes. So sweet. It really is sweet. It's beautiful. I was feeling super special. And then I went and looked into their website even more. They do this for everybody. Wow. They make a note for everyone? Handwritten personalized notes for every customer. And I just wanted to point out, Ross, that they said I'm easy to talk things through with in my notes.

[00:06:02] I just wanted to get that out there. I'm not known as a great communicator. Hey, what did they say nice about me? Paula, they did mention to me that your roles have been a little bit subpar. Well, now I can only blame them. Perfect. No, they said nothing nice to me. Nothing. In my note, they mostly talked about how great Cup is. So I love this company. Thank you, Emily.

[00:06:31] Thank you, Die Hard Dice. It's constructive criticism, Paula. It's a chance to grow. I keep trying. One day the dice will love me as much as I love the dice. Yes, indeed. It takes one day at a time. They sent us a little questionnaire. It really made me think about what kind of... Because I don't really roll real dice most of the time. So I thought probably way too deeply about the type of dice I wanted. Me too. And all the ones they sent me were just speckled with blood. So I'm like, they do listen to the show. Wow.

[00:07:00] They know I'm going to bleed. I had a hard time picking colors. And I got a really lovely rainbow set. And I was like... Amazing. They nailed it. They really did. I believe I said villainous and glamorous. So I got glittery clouds that kind of look like potion smoke things. You're like David Bowie in Labyrinth. Yes, very much. Smack that baby. Make it pee. Fantastic.

[00:07:30] Well, speaking of rolling. Katie, you're our very special guest. Will you please do the honors and roll a D100? Yes. To discover... To discover... 54. 54. Wow. That was a quick roll. Reach into our table and find out what our title is today. Okay. Wow. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Okay. Johnny Tea Time. Johnny Tea Time. Who will receive a $50 gift card from Die Hard Dice. Yes. Submitted the title...

[00:08:01] The TV Static Lies. Lies. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. I love that. Awesome. The TV Static Lies. That's fantastic. I don't like it. I love it. I really like it, yeah. Aw, man. Thank you, Johnny Tea Time. It's so scary already.

[00:08:28] The cosmos is a cyclopean infinity of chaos. Infinite branching paths stretching off to vistas in the distance that will drive the mind mad. Shall we shrink in the face of all this? Or will we climb aboard the chaos and ride it to the end, letting chance guide the way? This is Push the Roll. We're rolling dice against your Patreon suggestions to create improvised Call of Cthulhu adventures in real time.

[00:08:57] With themes of eldritch horror, the weird, the transhuman, the transmundane, the cyberpunk, the splatterpunk, the anything punk. We don't know until we roll. Anytime. Anytime. Anyplace. Anything can happen. When you push the roll. The TV Static Lies. Ooh. Okay. Wow. Poltergeist. Like a... Yeah. That's what I thought of immediately. Yes. I know.

[00:09:26] Poltergeist is, of course, springs right to mind. Is there any more malevolent TV static in cinema? Also thinking the, you know, natural disaster. We go to the news for information. Yeah. It goes to static. Ooh. Because they're not telling us what's actually happening. Not that things aren't as they should be. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The static is lying. That's just a buffer, man. Ooh. Ooh. Yeah. Or like, I saw the TV glow. Yes.

[00:09:55] I was thinking that too. This late night. Yeah. Like special programming that... Right, right. Do any of you have the experience of, like I did, yeah, of staying up late when you were like a little kid if there was a TV in the house, late at night, just weird stuff came on local channels and on cable. And you just see stuff that you were like, did I dream that? Yes. I thought you were going to say trying to watch the adult channels through the static. I thought so too. Thank you, Katie. Thank you. Oh, yeah.

[00:10:26] I mean, I've heard about people doing that, but I... Not you. No. Not me. No, never. Yeah, you would never. You would never. Just watching taxicab confessionals. No big deal. No. Itchweil got good after nine. That's such a millennial universal experience. It's like late at night, your parents are in bed and you're just watching, desperately seeking out porn somehow. Through the TV static. Yeah.

[00:10:56] Desperately seeking porno. And you think you see something, but it lies. That's not what you're seeing. Right, right. And there we have it. That's the game. Can't remember what channel it was on. Flipping around. Damn it, it's gone. But no, absolutely not. I'm a good boy and I would never look through the scramble channels to try to catch a brief staticky glimpse of the Bikini Car Wash Company 2. Okay. Okay.

[00:11:24] So maybe this means that our game is set sometime in like the 90s? Yes. I like that. I guess it has to be in the TV era sometime between like the 50s and the 90s before like the digital revolution. I feel like static isn't really a thing on TVs anymore. Mm-mm. No. It definitely makes me think about those sets. The very first TV set I remember in our house was this really old set and it had like

[00:11:51] the knobs you turn for the channel and there were like two of them. And I don't even know what the bottom one did, but yeah, just turning the knobs and getting static is what it, that kind of a TV set is what it's making me think of. Yes. And they would come in like cabinets. So it was furniture also, not just the TV. It was like wood lined. So it looked. Oh, yes. Always. Yes. Those big chunky ones. We had one in the basement and it was like so heavy that it had to stay in the basement.

[00:12:21] Yeah. It's never going to be moved anywhere else. So this is making me wonder, like as always, like who might our player characters be? If we're in this kind of world of like 80s, 90s kind of TV and TV enthusiasm, like I remember like fans of shows you brought up. I saw the TV glow and so much about that is like fandom of an obscure piece of media. Yes.

[00:12:46] A big thing was taping your favorite show off of the TV and then like compiling a little collection that you maybe would share and trade and watch with friends and other enthusiasts. And kind of the more niche and cult to the show, the more diehard those kind of little groups and clubs. I'm wondering if the PCs might be, maybe they work at a video store or maybe they're patrons of a video store or maybe they're like part of a fan club of a particular TV show or something like that.

[00:13:15] A video store is super fun. Yeah. That one stood out to me as well. Like we all work at, you know, Blockbuster Video or some analog of that or something. Okay. I love it. Like all you all work at a video store or maybe like patrons or maybe hang out near or at the video store. I love it. So I'm imagining almost like suburban 90s cinephiles. It's just called Neighborhood Video or something. Yeah.

[00:13:45] Yeah. I think the video store in my little town in North Carolina was just called Video Store. But everyone calls it Neighborhood Video because it's in our neighborhood. I love Neighborhood Video. Okay. I think this is maybe all we need to get started. If we all work at Neighborhood Video, let some go into our character sheets and find some people to play.

[00:14:09] Now, there are a lot of archetypes in there that are probably not entirely one-to-one suggestive of the type of people who work at a video store. But like I said, just think about archetypes. Think about vibes. Who might this be? And it sounds like this might be a group of like teenagers, young adults, or maybe- Or like college age or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where my brain was kind of going that like late teens, early 20s, maybe vibe.

[00:14:37] Every Saturday, me and my friends would go to see whatever the blockbuster film was. Yes. Of that week, like going to the movies, checking things out. So it's like the summer before we go back to school, working at this movie store. I don't know about you, but my college video store was the kind that actually had a lot of these taped off of TV or like four or five generations old, weird videotapes. I remember distinctly that my college video store, which was called Fat Cat Video.

[00:15:07] Yeah. Had on- You could rent the episode of Pokemon that had induced seizures in people because it had so much strobing in it. Oh my God. Yeah. I think we definitely have a section of like weird, like our little like curated, you know how you go into a Barnes and Noble now and they'll be like, staff recommendations. We have our little weird curated section. That's all like stuff that no one actually rinsed because it's not what like a mom and

[00:15:35] her kid on Saturday night want to take home with them. Totally. Yeah. I mean, college age Ross would go to those and just pour over them and be like, wow, they have such great taste. Yes. So artsy. To me, there was occasionally that was like a, that was like a locus of yearning. Also, you've got a crush on whoever's working behind the counter and you're like, oh my God, they like umbrellas of Cherbourg too. I believe I found her.

[00:16:05] Oh, wonderful. Who? I'm using the modern burglar. The burglar. Are you stealing from the video store? You wouldn't, you wouldn't steal a car. Yeah. You're just copying tapes. You're a pirate. Yeah. Edith Vincent. I think I have so many late fees too, just to like put that on top of it.

[00:16:32] I'm like, I just won't return the, I burn things and then I return my burned copy and I keep the OG. Amazing. So in your head, are you a patron of neighborhood video or are you an employee? My mom owns the place. Amazing. You're a, and you already had a name or Sean, it was Edith. What? Edith Vincent is what's on the sheet. I like that. And I just want to encourage you. Like, I think these, these things always work well when like where it is a social circle,

[00:17:02] like you all know each other and kind of little, you're on each other's side. Yeah. Oh, we know the owner's kid for sure. If we weren't there. Yeah. I think I have mine. Really? Well, there's the modern folder, the student three Liz, who's just 18. I feel like I want just like very simple. I love it. And then discover how I'm evil. Yeah. Yeah. So a student. Yes.

[00:17:31] Student who works at the video store. And you had a name too. Yeah. Liz, was it? Liz. It says Elizabeth or Liz Megan Sanders. Wow. Elizabeth Liz Megan Sanders. Great. That's a flushed out character already. Liz for short. Great. Liz Sanders. Yeah. Paula, is someone coming into focus for you? Have you found a sheet? Yeah.

[00:17:57] Well, I was just kind of inspired by thinking about Fat Cat Video and your college yearnings there as a theater student. I was like, oh, I could pull this modern musician artist sheet and be the like, I'm in like five film classes and maybe I'm going to be an actor one day. I'm not sure yet. I'm not sure. But I'm here. I have this job. It's actually a dream come true because I get to watch every movie.

[00:18:26] You know, maybe she's someone who is there because she's a real like, she fancies herself quite the artistic avant-garde. Yeah. You're a cineast. But she's just like, is like, yeah, I've seen Citizen Kane. You know? And she thinks that makes her special. A connoisseur. Yes. The store has one copy and Rashawn's character's had it for six years.

[00:18:54] Have you ever heard of the Criterion Collection? Great. Yeah. So we have our budding actress and cinephile. What is, Paula, what's your name? Great question. Names are hard. Names are hard. Let's, well, I do like this. You know what? This one has a name already on it and I do kind of like it. So I'm just going to go with it. It's Alison Cold. C-O-L-D-E.

[00:19:24] With an E on the end, but it's silent. And Alison with a Y. Oh, okay. Alison's a very 1990s appropriate name, I feel. Yes. Alison Cold sounds like such a stage name. I think Alison probably gave herself that name. That name, the last name Cold. Oh my God, that's amazing. Ooh, okay. I'll think about what my actual name is in case it comes up. What's coming into focus for you, Cup?

[00:19:52] I'm going to use one of the Patreon submitted character sheets today. This sheet was submitted by Mark Tucker and the character name is Caleb Typhair. I think Caleb goes by Daz for, and nobody knows why. So he's going to go by Daz Typhair. He just thinks it sounds cool. But he is, on the sheet that was submitted, he's a computer tech. So I'm seeing him just as like the big nerd at the video store.

[00:20:20] He's really into like obscure horror movie sequels and, you know, making recommendations for things like that. You know, he's into like Sleepaway Camp and Ghoulies and all the cool stuff of the era. But I'm going off the character sheet. I'm going to try to play against type a little bit. He's ridiculously positive and a bit of a golden retriever of a human being, according to Mark Tucker, who submitted the sheet. So we'll see. It feels right.

[00:20:48] I'm known for playing low status characters, so maybe I'll change it up today. Oh God, I love this group. What an endearing collection of characters. We've got Caleb Daz Typhain, a nerd and golden retriever. Alison Cold, an actor slash cinephile. Yeah. Not pretentious. Just... No, not at all. Not at all. No. Yeah. I just have really good taste and I want everyone else to know about it. Right.

[00:21:15] We've got Edith Vincent, the owner's child and serial film pirate. Arr. And is Liz Sanders... It sounds like everybody's an employee, maybe. Are you... Yes. Definitely works like a summer job before college. Okay. You know what?

[00:21:38] I think we've said it now enough times to where maybe this is a college town and like, you know, the lovecraft of it all presents a college town to you. Yes. Maybe neighborhood video is in the suburbs of Arkham, Massachusetts. Oh, yeah. And maybe some of you are working a summer job before you attend or just kind of for my own imagination. Can you tell me what you think your character's ages are? How old is Edith, would you say?

[00:22:08] Maybe Edith's like a sophomore. No. We want out of high school. It doesn't matter to me, I think. You could be a sophomore in college. Yeah. We are always happy to throw a children in peril warning on these episodes, Rashaun. So be whatever age you think. Totally. I'll be like a junior in college. Okay. So what's that, like 20? Yeah. Just 21, late birthday or maybe a summer birthday.

[00:22:37] Maybe it's my birthday this episode. I don't know. Yeah. Oh. What? What about you, Liz? How old are you? 18, just graduated from high school. Very excited. And I've done the summer reading, which is a real thing that I did before going into Northwestern. They sent like a book to everyone. And I read it and took a bunch of notes on it, assuming there would be a test. And I think I bring the same energy.

[00:23:07] Katie, you're in good company. I, too, did my school summer reading. That's my very, yes. I also. Before my freshman year. Wow. Alison Cold, how old are you? Oh, man. I think I'm 19 because I'm a freshman film student, which means I really know everything already. I don't know why I'm actually taking this intro to film. I feel like they should have let me just go ahead and go into like the second level film theory class.

[00:23:36] But, you know, there's rules, I guess, to how things work. And I cannot wait to be old enough to drink legally. Great. And Caleb, what about you? I just want to plant a seed with Paula here. Paula, is it possible that Allison has recruited us to be in a student film? Oh, my God. Yes. Like because we see each other all the time? Oh, my God. Of course. I love that. Yeah. She's using her camcorder to make it. Oh, yes. Yeah. Uh-huh.

[00:24:06] Yeah. And I'm just kind of we're filming. It's like in camera editing. So we have to film it exactly in order in one take because, you know, cinema verite, all of these things, you know, like. Oh, I love it. Caleb, how old are you? Please, Daz. Daz. Sorry. Forgive me. I think Daz. It just makes sense to me that he's like older. It does, doesn't it? Yes. He's 28. He's 28 years old. Okay, great.

[00:24:33] He's the assistant manager. He's striving for the manager. Yeah. Yeah, great. You're an Arkham Townie who is like a lifer here. I love that. Great. Oh, my God. What a fun little cinema society we have here at Neighborhood Video. The TV static lies. All right. Let's see here. Static. A blaze of static. A blaze of static.

[00:25:03] In black and white. Crackles across the screen. The white noise. As you listen to it. Occasionally, it seems as though something is attempting to resolve. Out of the static. A faint echo behind the thrum.

[00:25:30] A curious magic eye effect. A faint. Taking place. In the array of dots. Playing across the screen as they warp and wobble. And then, they crackle. Into focus. Out of the static. Footsteps. On a dark staircase. Going up. Creaking. Up. Up. A staircase.

[00:26:00] A young woman is moving up a staircase. A young woman is on the landing. A candle in her hand. She moves past an open door. With nothing but a pool of darkness beyond. Into a bedroom.

[00:26:20] The window is open. The drapes billow in the cold wind. A diaphanous and gaseous shape moves through the room, illuminated by the pallid light of the candle in her hand.

[00:26:42] And she stands there in the darkness, looking out of the window, not seeing the closet door slowly opening behind her, slowly being pushed aside.

[00:27:00] And the figure inside the closet, moving out of the darkness, the gloves on its hands, clutching a long and jagged knife.

[00:27:19] As the figure moves out of the closet, the twisted rubber mask in a grotesque rictus of a smile as it moves closer and closer behind the young woman still staring out the window, unbeknownst to her. As the figure moves ever closer as the knife is raised and catches on the mask and the mask is pulled to one side. And it was like, damn it, cut.

[00:27:49] What we've just seen was playing on the fold-out viewfinder of a video camera held in the hand of the filmmaker, Alison Cold. Oh, can I have someone please props? Can we get props in? I need someone like wardrobe. I don't know. Can someone fix that mask issue, please? Am I am I doing props also? Sorry, Liz, that would actually be really great, Liz. Yes, thank you. Thank you. I know we've got a lot on your plate already.

[00:28:17] How was that? Was that good? Was I good? I felt like I was just sort of standing there. No, you were really great until your mask got caught. So if you, yeah, could handle that yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. So sorry about that. That's okay. But this time, next time we do it again, I know you said that you're feeling like you're just standing there.

[00:28:40] So how about we just like really like think about how much you like hate your mom and imbue. Oh, but I love my mom. Well, but as you're acting, Liz, so if you could pretend to hate your mom. So my audition tape just didn't make it across your desk. I can hate mom. I've got this, but if you just want me to hold the candle, I can do that too.

[00:29:06] Edith, I really think you are much better suited to like the vibe that we're getting of you, like holding the candle, looking out the window, you know, like that's that. That's really where my vision is. You embody that vision. So, but am I giving threatening? I feel like I'm not. Well, that's where the hating your mom part is going to come in. I think it helps you, Liz. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So let's just try and see. Let's just see what happens. We'll go again. Yeah.

[00:29:34] I just need to actually like rewind the tape a little bit so that we can take back over this part of it. So is this like a company five or something like, do we get? No, no, no, no, no. We're just immediately. We don't need to take a break. Hey guys, my uncle's going to be home soon and I kind of need you out of my bedroom in the next like 10 or 15. God, Josh, I'm trying to make art here. And you hit stop for the first time, not realizing that all of this has been taped.

[00:29:59] And we now see maybe on a tiny little TV screen, this same video that you've been attempting to edit because we're now maybe a week later from the scene that we just saw. And this video camera that was in your hands is now connected through a series of cables plugged into the back of a little combination VCR and TV set that is set behind the counter of neighborhood video.

[00:30:25] Our camera, our camera moves around this space and we see the racks of video cassettes cramming the shelves in here. Neighborhood video is tight. It is cramped. It has a musty and dusty aroma. There is a beaded curtain in the back dangling beyond which we know not what.

[00:30:50] But as our camera moves around, we can see it panning past prestige films who remains of the day and Casablanca and a Philadelphia story. It pushes down another rack and we can see Halloween and Ghoulies and Basket Case and Frankenhooker.

[00:31:08] And it goes down another and you can see The Secret of NIMH and Wind in the Willows and big chunky clamshell VHS cassettes from the Disney vault. And then it passes a little cork board of people posted up placards from the city of Arkham. Guitar lessons available. Bass player needed with a few little ribbons torn off of the bottom.

[00:31:33] You can see, oh, production of The Crucible coming to Arkham Dramatic Society this autumn auditions tonight. Beneath some of these, a few missing posters. A couple missing dogs and one or two missing people. And then it swings around past the open and closed sign through the shoppers. And it comes to rest on a rack near the front desk of Neighborhood Video.

[00:31:57] And on this, there are little nameplates made with a handheld label maker that just say Liz, Edith, Allison, Daz. It's your recommendations. And I'm curious, what does each of you have on the recommendations rack as your recommended video? Please tell me what your character looks like and what their recommendation is this month. I think, well, I'm going off the character sheet here.

[00:32:24] Daz is tall and fit and blonde. But he's very much into horror sequels and seeming like he is kind of like an expert on the horror movies nobody else bothers to watch. So I think his recommendation for this month is going to be Hellraiser 3, Hell on Earth. And he's just anyone who will listen. He's trying to convince them that it's better than the original Hellraiser. Wonderful. Yeah, it sounds like you're almost like athletic.

[00:32:54] Yeah, it's kind of a contradiction. The way that he looks and the way he behaves, there's a little bit of a... Yeah, but he runs to and from work every day. And it's like five miles for him. So that's how he stays fit. Oh, wonderful. Daz Typhair. He looks normie, but his tastes are a little twisted. And we can maybe see him back in the horror section having a heated conversation with somebody. Are you kidding me? I hear they get terrible after the second one. Hellbound. No, no.

[00:33:24] I mean, pinhead in a nightclub, it doesn't get any better than that. Oh, have you seen this? He grabs the Frankenhooker case and hits the button and it's like, hey, want a date? I don't know. It's a little weird for me. Our camera kind of moves around the store and it finds Allison Cold, who is maybe there kind of like fiddling with the video cassette, trying to do some in-camera editing and salvage some of the footage you got last week. What does she look like?

[00:33:51] Yeah, I think she's got like Doc Martens on a plaid skirt and like a chunky fuzzy sweater. And she's got her hair and she's done like little, she's got long straight hair parted down the middle. But she's done little small little braids through it that kind of sits on top of the rest of her hair. If you can like picture that. And she's just sitting there.

[00:34:19] I wonder if anyone's rented my video pic yet. And she had submitted Rashomon to the recommendation because I think more people need to know where that idea comes from, that cinematic concept. Wonderful. You can see that there's a, maybe as you look up and kind of glance over at the recommendation rack, you briefly see a kid who's a little short, hair also parted down the middle.

[00:34:48] It falls on either side of his head. Um, he's got very large glasses that are a little bit askew on his face. And even though he's probably 19, there's still quite a bit of acne on his face. And as you look over, you can see that he's been looking at you and he just looks back to the cassette in his, in his, in his hand. And he's looking at a room with a view. Uh, that one's pretty good. If you want to, if you want to get it. Oh, um, really? Yeah. I love, um, I, I really like Merchant Ivory. Uh.

[00:35:19] Yeah. I mean, that's great. Um, do I think he's cute? Hold on. Uh, no, I don't. I rolled, I rolled an 87 on my diehard dice. So I don't think, I do think he's cute. Um, but I, I really want to spread the good word. And so I'll leave my computer for just a moment to walk over and say, do you know, have you ever like, you know, the idea of like how we all experience the same narrative, but like in a different way. Uh huh. Let me tell you about Rashomon.

[00:35:44] And I will like pick that up and start to just like wax poetic about it. Great. Great. It's like, um, yeah, yeah. Something happened and somebody can see it one way and somebody just never even notices the way that somebody else sees the same thing. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, I'll get it. You get it. Yeah, I get it and I'll get it. I'll get both. I'll get both. Oh, great. You're going to have such a good time. I hope that you really enjoy watching them.

[00:36:10] And I'll take him over to the, uh, I guess the cash register and to like scan out the, the videos or to hand them over. Maybe someone else is currently manning that position. Yeah. Um, what, and let's find Liz in the store. Yes. What does she look like and what is her pick? I think Liz is, um, cleaning the bathroom. Um, she's like new.

[00:36:38] So she's kind of doing like the more grunt work. Um, and she isn't really client facing yet. And I think for her, she's very excited. First of all, that her, that she got to pick a movie to be out. And so she's not maybe as big a cinephile as the rest of them. So she chose dirty dancing, which she saw with her mom, um, in theaters. And, um, cause it has only been out for a little bit and, um, she's really hoping that it, it seems cool.

[00:37:07] And she's wearing like a little, um, like a dress that has little flowers all over it. And it's short, but she has like bike shorts underneath it that stick out. And then she has, um, like black boots and yeah, but no one will see because she's in the bathroom or in the back. Yeah. Uh, while you're in there, suddenly the door, uh, flings open a large man with, uh, a bald with a ponytail kind of pops in.

[00:37:33] He's like, Oh my God, you gotta put a, put a sign on the door, please. If it's occupied and he kind of, uh, turns around and shuffles away. Okay. And she's like starting to, um, cry a little bit. Oh no. Oh no. That was like, that was like too much for her. Oh God. From further back in the store, she shuffles away. You can hear him mutter, dirty dancing. How pedestrian. No. My mom and I really liked it.

[00:38:01] I prefer a better quality of, of dance film such as Busby Berkeley's dames. He says to no one, just like walking through the, uh, walking through the aisles. This is someone that everyone here knows is Albert. He just does laps here, like muttering about cinema. Paula, do you want to roll to see if Alison finds Albert attractive? He seems to have a good taste in movies. Yes. He sounded not attractive. I'll say. No, I don't think so.

[00:38:30] He seemed old. 75. So I'm going to say no to that too. Good. Good dice. Sorry, Albert. Sorry, Albert. And as, uh, and as Albert, uh, shuffles around the, uh, the videos, we find Edith Vincent. What, what is, what does Edith look like? And what is her staff pick? Edith is, uh, a tall, um, dark-skinned woman with, like, a baggy overalls and maybe, like,

[00:38:59] a generic sports team, like, jersey sort of underneath. Yes! Braids, up in a ponytail. My name tag says my name is, like, Rebecca or something just because I want to confuse people as to who I really am, but everybody knows. Um, Albert and I are very close. He's a good guy. You just got to give him a chance. And my recommendation, uh, Edith's recommendation this month is Tu Wong Fu. Ooh. Wonderful.

[00:39:28] So, yes, we, we have our, we have our little tableau. The sweaty young man that you were speaking to, Allison, is kind of, like, shuffling through his tape. Um, yeah, I'll be sure to give you, um, I'll be sure to give you a review when I, when I bring this back. Oh, yeah, definitely. When you come back, I want to hear all of your thoughts about it and, like, and, like, the thematic, you know, through line that you sense after you watch it. Oh, definitely. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll tell you everything. I, I, you've got great taste because, um, this got a great write-up in the Leonard Maltin film guide.

[00:39:59] Wow. Yeah, definitely. Are you in the, I haven't seen you in here. Are you in the film classes over at Arkham? Miskatonic? You know the name of the place. I know the name. Do I, I've seen you in, I don't think, have I seen you at Miskatonic? Huh, huh, huh, huh. You go to MU too? Yeah, um, I, I'm not in the club. I'm, I'm an English major, but, um, but undeclared. But, but, but, but, but going to. Understood, understood.

[00:40:24] And, um, but, uh, no, uh, I would love to, I would love to join the, the film club? Yeah, I mean, it meets, um, it meets one, the first Monday of every, of every month. So, yeah, maybe I'll see you around there. All right, great. Maybe I'll, I'll see you there. Or maybe we'll each see something different when we are there. He says, kind of like tapping the video cassette. That's right. Wow. You really listened to what I said. Like you really paid attention to it.

[00:40:52] Um, he takes out an inhaler and like, like, takes a deep breath and begins to kind of shuffle backwards out of the door. Yeah. So maybe I'll be, I'll be seeing you. He bumps into it. Oh, didn't know there's a door there. Okay. Um, all right. Well, I'll catch you later. He knocks over a shelf. Ah, okay. Bye. Bye. As he leaves, I turn around. I'm like, that weird kid would make a fascinating subject for a documentary. Don't you think?

[00:41:19] Just watching him move around and trying to interact socially. You hear the clatter of puka shells as Daz approaches you. And he's going to be like, Alison, why didn't you upsell that guy? I mean. He rented two movies. We're supposed to be pushing milk thuds on everybody. They're going to expire next month. Oh, Daz. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I did forget about that because he actually paid attention when I described Rashomon to him and that never happened.

[00:41:49] So I fully forgot about the candy. That's on me. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry, Daz. It's okay. Mrs. Vincent's really breathing down my neck to increase the candy sales. So maybe for next time you can, you can remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Totally. You know, if it feels right, if they feel like the kind of person who would want milk duds. He'll hold his hand up for a high five. Just like, you know, he never gets one back, but he's trying. Yeah. Alison will just like look at him and be like, I'm gonna go back to editing.

[00:42:18] Edith is throwing milk duds into Albert's mouth in the corner of the store. Trying to launch him from one section to another. Amazing. Is Albert picking them up off the floor? Albert is like sitting, is standing an aisle away with his mouth open like a hungry, hungry hippo. And I go, space jam. Oh, wonderful. I guess I'll, I guess I'll go check on Liz. She's been in the bathroom for like a really long time.

[00:42:49] I'm stuck in my teeth. That's good. We'll just go get a soda or something. Wash that down. A capital idea, my good lady. He goes kind of. Oh my God. Albert, come with me. Daz will give like a, give three knocks on the men's room door. Like Liz, are you still in there? Hi. Yeah. Sorry. I'm just trying to get it really clean here. Let me open up. Hey, how do you think this looks? Do you think that Mrs. Vincent is gonna like this? What I've done?

[00:43:18] Sort of rearrange things. Put the towels over here. I thought that might be interesting. And then I brought a candle from home that I put over the toilet because I noticed that sometimes when some of the customers come in and they use the restroom, it smells quite bad when they leave. So I took a candle from home. I hope that's okay. He looks around and he's like, no, this is good. But like we have cleaning supplies in the utility closet.

[00:43:45] You're actually supposed to like clean the sinks and the toilets. We have a mop. Oh, is there any part of the day where I am allowed to eat something? I've been here for seven hours and I haven't had anything. So I was just wondering if this is something that I need permission to do or perhaps I can just go ahead. I did bring some granola in my backpack.

[00:44:14] I think if it's okay, Allison will kind of overhear this and come over and kind of shove Daz out of the way and be like, Daz, did you not tell her she can take a break? Liz, yes, you get a break. Let's take one together. I'm taking a break right now. I take them all the time. Oh, great. Please don't tell Mrs. Vincent. He's flashing back to like being in the office and she's going through the workplace like legal posters with him. Yeah, please take 20. Take a 20 minute break and maybe that'll make up for, you know, not getting a lunch or a

[00:44:44] short break. Great. We can all take our 20 together. Yeah. Yeah. Let's all take our 20. That sounds fun. I think, yeah, you can you can all take your 20. And maybe when this happens, the whole store shuts down. You're like, Albert's running the register. Albert may be so trusted. He's just kind of left inside. You flip one of those signs on the door that just says like back in 20. So sorry. Yeah. With a bit with a clock face on it. Yeah.

[00:45:11] And I would like to say that next door to neighborhood video is a sub shop. Yes. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And Liz, now I don't want to I don't want to put anything on you here. Do it. I think maybe at the strip mall. Strip mall is an overstatement. The little parking lot here with maybe four businesses in this one building, one of which

[00:45:37] is Jolly Roger Subs, a pirate themed sub shop. Cute. Subs as big as a whale. Avast. Are meaty. Meaty. Yeah. Or meaty. Yes. I want that on a shirt. Yes. Walk the plank to flavor. And there's a fellow who works at the Jolly Roger. I'm going to call him Keith Simcoe.

[00:46:07] Mm hmm. I want to say, Liz, that you and Keith have been experiencing some fireworks. Yes. I was hoping I was hoping for this. This is a summer job for you. Is that right? Yes. Mm hmm. When you pop your head in and you and you go through the line at Jolly Roger, Keith's not working. That sucks. Yeah. You go through. You get your subs. You each get your variations on the R meaty.

[00:46:38] I like it when they stack the pepperoni, but then they put the hot peppers in between instead of all on top. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. It's in every bite. Yes. Yes. Yes. Eat it. I don't see. Never mind. Keith. Keith. Is it Keith? Yes, it's Keith. I don't see. I thought he worked on Tuesdays. Hmm. I think he normally does work on Tuesdays. Yeah, he does. Right. Yeah.

[00:47:07] Maybe he got the day off or something. He's working all the time. Like. Yeah, that's true. I'm sure it's fine. We take breaks. He probably takes a break. Yeah. You hang out over there. He pops into neighborhood video and he'll he'll rent stuff every now and then. And kind of it seems to the rest of you maybe find excuses to chat to Liz every now and then. I was going to show him Dirty Dancing.

[00:47:35] Well, if he came over today, I was going to just show him the DVD because I thought maybe he would like it. But it's OK. That's kind of a sexual movie, Liz, to recommend to a guy that like. Well, I feel like you're sending a signal. Really? Yeah. That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just I just think he would like it. That's all. OK. OK. Liz, is that why you've asked me to practice the lift? Daz. I still I still don't think we can do it, but but I'm willing to try if it's for Keith.

[00:48:05] I love Keith. He's my he's my favorite sandwich artist. He's he's really good. He is really good. No one makes a seafood torpedo like Keith. Behind the counter, one of the other employees says sandwich artist is proprietary. We're sandwich. We're sandwich captains. Yeah. Also, you see Albert kind of wander out of the door with a box of milk duds in his hand. It's like you're out of milk duds. Oh, we made the quota. That's great.

[00:48:35] Daz. Mom's going to love that. All right, Albert, I'll be over there in a second. But you never pay for them, Eden. Shh. She says through the bites of her sandwich. Sounds like you were maybe wondering where Keith was, Liz. Yes. Can you make a spot hidden roll for me? Oh, spot hidden is a 30. And then that's and then I rolled the hundred and I got a 19. Oh, amazing.

[00:49:05] That's very good. Paula and I were panicking because we thought you rolled a 100. Yeah, we both had the same thing. Wait, you rolled a 100? No. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You rolled the, yes, the dice. Yes. So you rolled a 19 under 30. Yes. That's a great roll. Mm-hmm. Is it? Mm-hmm. You're trying to get under that number. Okay, thank you, thank you. Katie, I'm not trying to pressure you to do this, but you could spend four points of luck to make that a hard success and maybe see a little bit more.

[00:49:35] Yeah. Ooh, okay. Didn't you want to kiss him on the face? I want to kiss him right on the face. I love making this all horny. If you're ever, like, too horny, we can all dial it back. Um, okay, so I spend what? Okay, luck, luck. And I have 70, so 70 minus four. So you now have 66 points of luck and you've got a hard success. Yeah. Yes.

[00:50:04] Great. Through bites of your sandwich and the sort of chatter with the sandwich captains at Jolly Roger. The sandwich captains. I want to put you kind of in a little picnic table out front of the Jolly Roger sub shop. Right behind you, Albert is shuffling back into neighborhood video. And from where you're sitting, you can see down the sort of aisle towards the end of the strip mall.

[00:50:32] The parking lot is on your right. The summer heat cooking up off of the asphalt. And as you look up, you get lucky. And you can see silhouetted at the end of the, uh, sidewalk that runs in front of the strip mall. There's someone standing there. They're just in shadow right now. But you can tell that they're watching you.

[00:51:04] Standing stock still. Just watching you. And then they turn and they walk back. It looks as though they're going around the strip mall to the back. Is it Keith? You couldn't tell. Even with a hard success, you could not tell. Okay. Got it. Is Liz saying that out loud? I imagine. Is it Keith? Is that Keith? Is that, is that Keith?

[00:51:34] Maybe when she's. How do I look? Yeah. When she says that, maybe the couple others of you kind of pop up and notice this figure kind of moving around. Huh. That's weird. That's not Keith. You don't know who that is. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm asking you. No, I don't know who that is. Do you guys? Kind of hard to tell. It's hard to tell. Should we call out for it? Wait. What is it? Should we just follow? Wait.

[00:52:05] Wait. We could just follow and see where he goes. And out of my messenger bag, I pull out my camcorder. Oh. This could be something we could put into the movie we're making. Does it seem dangerous? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. She's like Larry Cohen. You just got to let her cook. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Just capturing things in a real gritty kind of way. And maybe we can add it in somewhere. I bet I can edit it in somewhere in our movie. Yeah.

[00:52:34] You're a really good editor. So probably. Yeah. That'll be cool. A cool thing to like edit around. I think you'd be into that. But if we're going to go, we should go. Yeah. Okay. This conversation is taking place as you're walking past the Arkham Drugstore, which is in the process of closing up as you walk by. And then you take the right around the strip mall. You see no sign of the figure. And I'm recording. I have it like going.

[00:53:04] And as you kind of come around, the scene is very suburban. You got kind of forested lanes extending off into the distance. But to your right, as you come around the building, you can see the asphalt driveway lined with dumpsters and boxes all behind the strip mall where you all work.

[00:53:24] And you can see if you look down the alley here that this figure is slipping into the back door of Neighborhood Video. Hmm. Hey, man. Uh, that's for employees only. Edith, you're ruining the take. What? Right around me, okay? No one can go into the back. I know I mess around, but like, no one can just go into the store.

[00:53:54] You called out to him. Are you trying to stop him in his tracks? Are you trying to kind of move up and... I'd like to. Why don't you give me an intimidate roll? Oh. Intimidate. Intimidate. My intimidate is a 15, so we shall see. 76. Well, that's a failure. No, you could push, but the stats on that are pretty bad. In my head, Edith is very intimidating to everyone.

[00:54:21] Only the people who work in the video store because her mom is the owner. You have a lot of power within that square footage. But whoever this was did not seem to listen. And you're watching them now slip inside and the door is shutting behind them. Oh, okay. Do you have keys? Do you have keys on your desk? Do I have keys? Keys to the back door of the video store? Let me roll luck to see if I remember the keys because I do think Daz is a little bit scatterbrained.

[00:54:50] We did apparently leave the building without locking it up. Like, that wasn't very smart. I just want to roll my diehard dice. I know that I don't have my keys on me. I love that. Okay. I might. I'm the assistant manager, so I should have them. I rolled a 94 over 60. So, no, I don't have the keys. Oh, I think I might have left them at the Jolly Roger when I realized they didn't do the double mayonnaise like Keith does. I just got discombobulated. Okay.

[00:55:19] I guess then I'll run around the front and see if Albert left the front door open. Wonderful. Albert's got the keys. Yeah, you run back around and you see Albert kind of like leaning on one of those coin-operated horses. Yeah. Like that little kids ride. He gone for the record. He's sucking on a sugar daddy. Ooh, nasty.

[00:55:47] He's like, where's the fire? Albert, somebody's coming in through the back. I got to get in. All right. You can clock out, man. You're done for the thing. Oh, I don't work here. But if you need somebody to back you up, I know the art of Jeet Kune Do. Oh. How long did that take to study? You don't work here. You get your mail here, Albert. Well, in many ways, this is not my workplace. This is my home. All right.

[00:56:16] Well, I'll page you if I really need you. But excuse me, brother. Thank you. It's goodbye. He gestures down to his braided leather belt and there's a big chunky pager attached to it. I love it. Okay. Well, see you in the funny papers. This guy doesn't miss. I love him. And Albert goes away just like licking slowly on his sugar daddy. But you, it sounds like, are moving into the video store.

[00:56:43] Do I feel that he's gotten into the main room or? You can hear clatter in the office. Let me give you a little bit more of a picture of the layout of the interior of this place. You got your front desk with the staff picks, a bunch of racks all throughout stacked with VHSs. You got the bathroom that Liz was cleaning. And then next to that, a beaded curtain. Through that curtain, there's a door to the office.

[00:57:12] And you can hear clatter and shuffling taking place in there. Are we Scooby doing this behind Edith? Are we all kind of? Yeah, are we all together? I pick up the most, the biggest pack of Twizzlers that I know are already expired. So I have a blunt object. Great. Seeing that Daz is going to pick up the VHS rewinder off the counter, like the big clunky device.

[00:57:39] And I'm still filming because I've realized this is potentially actually scarier than anything we were trying to film already. So I'm just keeping the camera rolling as this is all happening in the back, catching it all. And I think I'm also trying to find like some sort of weapon. And I find maybe scissors. Like I find an actual weapon somewhere. And yeah. Yeah.

[00:58:09] That, that, um, that's, that sounds really lucky. But, but there would be scissors here, of course. Yeah. It's shocking to me that if there were scissors lying out, then Daz went for the be kind rewind machine. Yeah, Daz kind of notices Liz taking the scissors. He's like, oh, I guess, I guess that'll work too. Cool, cool. Yeah, let's, should we sneak up or like call out? What do you think, Edith? Well, they didn't hear me before. Sounds like you're sneaking then. So what this calls for would be a group stealth role.

[00:58:36] So this means whoever has the lowest stealth roles for the group. Oh gosh. Several of us probably have the base 20. I have 60 in stealth. Oh wow. So not you. I have 50. Okay. Wow. Pretty respectable. Um, I have a 30. Dang. Oh wow. I'm the only one with the base stealth. That's, now I'm embarrassed. Okay. It's just you. Dude, the rest of us are real sneaky. It's the puka shells. They've already been described as clattering.

[00:59:06] Yes. Yeah. So roll your stealth, Daz. Okay. He's like rubbing one hand through his frosted tips while he's holding the VHS rewinder. I mean, it looks good on you, dude. You know, I'm not rolling well, but that's a compliment to diehard dice because I like to fail. Uh, I got an 86 over 20. Wow. I actually think if, if it's okay with you, Ross, I would like to push the roll by saying to everyone, take your shoes off. Take your shoes off. He's going to hear us on the linoleum.

[00:59:36] I slide my Birkenstocks off immediately. It is going to take way too long for me to unlace and take off these Doc Martin boots. Doc Martins take five minutes to take on and put off. You get to the back, you get to the back of the group. You don't have scissors or anything. Here, I'll take off my boots. So now I'm going to pass this roll is how this works. Yeah. That will be stealthy. This is how you pushed it. Now everybody's in there taking off their clogs and boots.

[01:00:05] I'm going to, I'm going to roll this as I kind of move in front of Edith, I think with my Converse shoes slipped off. Okay. I rolled a 96, which is like, I know there's not technically a penalty for fumbling a push, but maybe there is in your world, Ross. But it's Ross. You fumbled a push. 96 over 20. Oh. Okay. Interesting.

[01:00:36] He's like got one foot in his hands trying to rip the Converse off. He just tied the laces too tight. Oh God. With the VHS rewinder. Be kind, rewind. Be kind, rewind. Here is how I'm going to rule this. You kick off your shoes, Daz, encouraging everyone else to do the same. The clogs and the boots hit the floor. Allison is about halfway through one Doc Martin.

[01:01:06] Yep. Yep. And you go creeping forward, creeping forward. And I want to say that this bit of bravery on your part puts you in the lead because everyone else is taking so much time to get their, get their shoes off. And so brandishing your be kind, rewind, VHS rewinder. You push through the curtain. The beads clatter shut behind you.

[01:01:34] And in this sort of pinkish light of this room, you can see the open door. And then you trip. The machine crashes to the floor and breaks. The little spindles just go skittering off in all directions. And your puka shell necklace snags on one of the racks of pornography.

[01:02:00] And suddenly all of them just go crashing down all over you. Oh my God. Daz is just like buried in a, in a heap of, in a heap of adult videos. I love that I said I was going to play a high status character. Yeah. Then you immediately didn't. Yes. Truly. You immediately then were like puka shells. And I was like, nope. Not happening. No.

[01:02:28] Though, uh, probably Daz is like dream scenario. To be crushed by pawns. He's shoving the clamshell cases like into his shirt. Help, help, help me. That of course is the, uh, consequence of your failed push. Please take one point of damage. Fair. Yeah. From the, from the snag and the puncture.

[01:02:55] As that metal rack like snags your puka shell necklace and jabs briefly into your throat. You can feel now blood on your neck as you come hit the floor as an obscene photo on one of these, uh, boxes. Like, like bonks you on the head. He's like, ow. Ooh. That's the result of your failed push. Now here's the result of your fumble. Wait, wait, wait. It's Ross. This is the Ross. Gonna Ross, you know? Oh man.

[01:03:25] You see into the office, the flickering fluorescent light inside. There's a computer and a television and movie posters up on the wall. From your perspective here on the floor, you see a hand lifting papers off of a desk. Like, like, string them aside. It looks as though they're looking frantically.

[01:03:56] Pushing the papers around on the desk as though they're looking for something on the desk. And then you realize that they're not pushing the papers around because they're looking for something. They're pushing the papers around looking for purchase. Because as your eyes move up, you can see that what is happening is the hands are scraping across the desk. The nails digging into the wood of the desk by the keyboard of the computer.

[01:04:25] And from your perspective only, you are seeing the hands grasping at the table as they are pulled helplessly into the television. The screen of it is sucking whoever this was inside. And then like the fluorescent lights flicker. And then dark.

[01:05:11] Thanks so much for listening to Push the Roll with Ross Bryant. You can follow me on Instagram at RossBB. And if you enjoyed the show and want to shape future episodes, find us at patreon.com slash push the roll. Subscribe, submit your title ideas, and help decide where our next roll takes us. Catch you next time. We're sponsored today by Die Hard Dice, who are offering our listeners a special discount code to use at their website, dieharddice.com. That code is PTR for 10% off your order.

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