Transcript - Episode 19: Side Effects May Include... (Part 3)
Audio for Side Effects May Include... Part 3
Side Effects May Include... Part 3
Wed, Dec 17, 2025
“Push the Roll with Ross Bryant” is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
cuppycup 00:00
"Side Effects May Include..." Episode three of three. Intervention.
Ross Bryant 00:08
So you know that Dr. Pierce is probably going to come back and make another appearance at each meal time to kind of observe the taking of the drug. So you've got a little bit before your luncheon when he will kind of touch base with you if you were going to try to abscond with his keycard, that might be the time.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 00:26
So here's what we're gonna do, guys. Okay, when he comes back in, we're gonna spill some of that weird juice that they got on his jacket. Alright? Okay, Beth, you're gonna offer to clean the jacket.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 00:40
Yes, I'm charming. I can do that.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 00:42
You'll get the jacket. You'll clean the jacket while the rest of us keep him busy. You give the jacket back sans the key. And then when he leaves out the front door to go out where he goes on the weekend, we go into the room.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 00:57
And if that doesn't work, we'll kick his ass.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 01:00
Okay, okay, man. If it comes to that, I'm willing to go there at this point.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 01:05
Whatever you say in court, I'll agree with alright? So do whatever you need to do.
Ross Bryant 01:09
[MUSIC: ethereal drone and flute] Okay, the time is passing. The sun moves across the sky. Every now and then you have the sense of something in your peripheral vision moving, and when you look, it's not quite there. Little gusts of abnormally cold air prickle the back of your neck, Beth. And every now and then, you might hear a strange melody just faintly, but it might be your imagination. But the time is coming when Dr. Pierce is returning. It sounds like we've got a several-phase plan. We're going to spill juice and then charm him into picking his pocket.
Scott Dorward 01:47
I'm not sure that's the plan we're actually going to execute, but let's see. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 01:51
[MUSIC: melancholic guitar theme] The cosmos is a cyclopean infinity of chaos, infinite branching paths stretching off to vistas in the distance that will drive the mind mad. Shall we shrink in the face of all this? Or will we climb aboard the chaos and ride it to the end, letting chance guide the way? This is Push the Roll. We're rolling dice against your Patreon suggestions to create improvised Call of Cthulhu adventures in real time with themes of eldritch horror, the weird, the transhuman, the transmundane, the cyberpunk, the splatterpunk, the anything punk. We don't know until we roll. Anytime, anyplace, anything can happen when you push the roll.
cuppycup 02:48
Hey, Ross, can Hitch grab some bed sheets from his room and just stash them in the common area or wherever they're meeting, in case we need a plan B? [laughter]
Ross Bryant 02:56
Bed sheets? Okay. So where... you're just like, cramming sheets under your...
cuppycup 03:01
Yeah, from my room. I'm just gonna, like, cram them in the corner, like, hide them under a chair.
Ross Bryant 03:06
Okie dokie, yeah, you got sheets under a chair.
cuppycup 03:08
How's Pierce's Spot Hidden? Let's see.
Ross Bryant 03:08
Here he comes. The hour is struck.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 03:10
Oh. [SFX: door opens then footsteps]
cuppycup 03:18
Everybody act cool like me.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 03:21
Everybody just do what we talked about doing earlier.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 03:25
Sure.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 03:26
Just be normal, totally normal.
Scott Dorward 03:29
And Charlie's just going to get up and say,
Charlie Finch (Scott) 03:32
Oi, Doc, have you been poisoning us? [laughter]
Scott Dorward 03:35
And yeah, I'm gonna smack him in the face as hard as I can.
cuppycup 03:40
I think he's already distracted.
Ross Bryant 03:43
Well, it sounds like he's distracted. So, yeah, you've totally blindsided him. [laughter]
cuppycup 03:47
Wow.
Ross Bryant 03:49
Yeah, let's see if you hit him.
Scott Dorward 03:51
I actually passed a roll. That's 50 under 60.
cuppycup 03:54
Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one to pass.
Ross Bryant 03:56
Hooray.
Scott Dorward 03:59
That's five points of damage.
cuppycup 04:00
Wow.
Colton Dunn 04:01
Whoa, whoa.
cuppycup 04:03
Knock some teeth out.
Ross Bryant 04:04
Okay, I'm gonna see if you knock him out right now. Okay, he stays conscious, but you have, like, laid him out. He falls to the ground, holding his jaw, and he's on the floor. [SFX: slap and body hits floor] Like,
Dr. Sid Pierce (Ross) 04:18
What on earth?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 04:19
Oh, doctor. Oh, my goodness, there's blood all over your jacket. I will get that off. Let me get your jacket off.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 04:30
Yeah, yeah, get that. Hey, clean that. Doctor, hey Doctor, you alright? Hey, man, nobody's getting poisoned around here. What are you talking about?
Ross Bryant 04:39
You can see him reach down to his belt, pushing a button on a little black oblong box on his belt. [SFX: button clicks]
cuppycup 04:47
Hitch comes barreling in with the bed sheets. [laughter]
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 04:50
I'm gonna try to hogtie him! [laughter]
Ross Bryant 04:57
Make your Rope skill roll.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 04:59
Well, grab the black thing. Grab the black thing out of his hand.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 05:01
He can't use it if he's hogtied.
cuppycup 05:03
Oh, my God. I did not fumble, but it was close. I rolled a 95.
Colton Dunn 05:07
What are you doing, man?
Mary Lou 05:09
Oh, that is close.
cuppycup 05:12
Can I push the roll by, like, knocking him out first, then hogtying him properly? [laughter]
Ross Bryant 05:19
Yes, yes, you can.
cuppycup 05:21
Dig deep into the rulebook, Ross. You know it's possible. What Hitch is doing might even look exactly like Beth's nightmare, just like flashbacks to the grocery store.
Colton Dunn 05:31
Oh, wow.
Mary Lou 05:32
I mean, it's triggering.
Ross Bryant 05:35
Yep, absolutely.
cuppycup 05:36
Okay. I shouldn't have described that right before I failed my push, but I did roll a 75. [laughter]
Scott Dorward 05:42
Fantastic.
Ross Bryant 05:43
Yes. Beth, the sheet goes up and over Dr. Pierce's face, and you are instantly thrown back to having that bag over your head. The unseen trafficker pulling you into the darkness. Will you please roll Sanity, Beth?
cuppycup 06:00
Oh, no.
Mary Lou 06:01
Oh, my Sanity is so low. Oh, my God. And that is a success.
Ross Bryant 06:08
Okay, great. You take... you just take two points of Sanity loss from that due to the cumulative stress that you are now beginning to mount up.
Mary Lou 06:17
Yep.
Ross Bryant 06:17
But you did fail a pushed roll there, Hitch.
cuppycup 06:20
Yes, yes, I'm ready.
Ross Bryant 06:22
And you just hear some... [SFX: garbled walkie talkie]
Dr. Sid Pierce (Ross) 06:26
What's this, man?
Ross Bryant 06:28
Beyond the locked door that you all know of, a door now swivels open and two men in black come out. [SFX: door closes then footsteps]
Colton Dunn 06:36
Oh.
Ross Bryant 06:37
They are dressed in suits. They also have lanyards, and they are now walking towards you.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 06:44
Oh, who are you guys?
Mary Lou 06:46
I would love to try and get that key card out of his pocket in the confusion.
Ross Bryant 06:54
Okay, the consequence of the push is you now have these two other guys on you.
cuppycup 06:58
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 06:59
But I will say he is distracted. I don't think you even have to roll to pick his pocket. You can snatch the card. You've got it.
Mary Lou 07:08
Okay, okay. Then as the men come in, I want to sort of like, back up with my hands up, like,
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 07:17
Oh no, it's not me.
Mary Lou 07:18
But I'm backing up towards the door, towards the hallway.
Ross Bryant 07:23
Beth flattens herself to the wall, and kind of gives clearance for these two to pass by. So they have passed you. You are behind them. They are now closing with Hitch, Reginald and Charlie, but the door is right there for you to kind of duck towards when you feel the urge to.
Asclepix Security (Ross) 07:40
What the hell is going on here?
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 07:43
It's not what it looks like.
Colton Dunn 07:45
I fight them. [laughter]
Colton Dunn 07:47
You fight them?
Colton Dunn 07:47
I fight these guys. [laughter] I haven't met these guys. I don't know who these guys are. They're just showing up now.
Ross Bryant 07:53
Yeah, I think you've had more free use of this facility than other people. I think you may be recognized faces that you just passed in the hallway without knowing that they were security, and you quote, unquote "fight these guys." Give me a Fighting/Brawl roll. [laughter]
cuppycup 08:10
I feel like Hitch was intending to try to talk his way out of this, and then he's like,
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 08:16
Hell yes!
Mary Lou 08:17
Hogtie 'em!
cuppycup 08:18
Oh man. I'm guessing they took my pistol when I checked in. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 08:24
I'm guessing so.
Mary Lou 08:26
I'm guessing.
Colton Dunn 08:28
57. Oh no, that's no good.
cuppycup 08:34
Oh no.
Colton Dunn 08:34
No good. That was a failure.
Mary Lou 08:37
Can you spend some Luck?
Colton Dunn 08:39
Nah, I'm at 30 for a good Fighting/Brawl.
Scott Dorward 08:42
Yeah, that's a lot of Luck.
Ross Bryant 08:45
Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, the fellow that you were going to hit rolled an extreme success on his fight back. [laughter]
Mary Lou 08:55
Oh no.
Ross Bryant 08:56
So that's four points of damage coming at you.
Colton Dunn 08:59
Oh, okay, oof.
Ross Bryant 09:02
You go to attack this guy. You're a doctor. You instantly realize that this guy is a professional. He parries your blow, just kind of martial arts, swats it out of his way, rolls to the side and comes up under your ribs with his elbow. Bam. [SFX: body impact]
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 09:19
Oh! Ohh!
Ross Bryant 09:20
And you feel like all the wind knocked out of you, but you're still upright. You're still conscious, but, oh, that hurt something deep inside, and it took your HP down quite a bit.
Colton Dunn 09:30
Okay.
Mary Lou 09:32
When I see the fighting happen, Beth is going to... she knows this is our last chance, so she's gonna go up to that locked door.
Ross Bryant 09:40
You scan the card, and you hear just as Dr. Biggs did before, like [SFX: electronic lock sequence] all of the locks like open and you hear it kind of unlock. It is now open for you, the fellow who didn't just hit Dr. Biggs in the ribs steps back after seeing how aggressive this has gotten. Reaches into his jacket, and pulls out a little black bar that he whips. And a telescoping billy club [SFX: metallic telescoping] comes out in his hand, and he throws up a hand.
Asclepix Security (Ross) 10:12
Calm down. Calm down. Step away from Dr. Pierce.
Scott Dorward 10:17
Having seen that these guys are not only professional, but tooled up... now, I guess it's just a question of whether, with all the personal possessions that have been taken off everyone, whether I still have my... what is it? Non-soluble lubricant, which I'm going to choose to believe is a can of WD-40.
Ross Bryant 10:39
Yes, you do.
Scott Dorward 10:42
So I am going to spray it in this guy's eyes.
Mary Lou 10:45
Oh, my God.
Ross Bryant 10:47
Amazing.
cuppycup 10:49
Thank you. Derpurger.
Colton Dunn 10:51
Derpurger.
Mary Lou 10:54
Derpurger.
Ross Bryant 10:54
Look, you're so close. This doesn't require a roll, I don't think even.
Scott Dorward 11:00
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 11:01
Yeah. I mean, how hard is it to blast a spray can? If you wanted to make it harder yourself, I could just give you a... just roll Dexterity to see if you can get it up quicker than he can hit you.
Scott Dorward 11:14
I'd rather go for Fighting/Brawl, because I'm much better at that than being dexterous.
Ross Bryant 11:18
Go for Fighting/Brawl then. Give me a roll. Let's see how well you do.
Scott Dorward 11:21
This is where I roll at double zero. No, it's a success.
cuppycup 11:26
Oh, nice.
Ross Bryant 11:27
Great, awesome. Let's just see his reaction. No, that's a failure. You blast him in the eyes. [laughter] The hand that was outstretched trying to push you back...
Asclepix Security (Ross) 11:41
Step away from Dr. Pierce.
Ross Bryant 11:43
Is now on his eyes. As he's like,
Asclepix Security (Ross) 11:44
Ah, oh, my God, it's water-insoluble lubricant. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 11:53
You can see the tears flowing from underneath his eyes as he's just whipping that baton around impotently. You see Beth at the door.
Scott Dorward 12:02
Ah, yeah, I think I'm just going to barrel past this guy as he's flailing and run after Beth.
Ross Bryant 12:10
Hitch, what are you up to?
cuppycup 12:12
There's another guard, right, who's not accounted for yet? He's still active? [laughter]
Colton Dunn 12:17
Yeah, he's beating me up.
cuppycup 12:19
Yeah, I think I'm gonna use that...
Mary Lou 12:21
He's currently kicking Dr. Biggs' ass.
cuppycup 12:24
That's right. I think Hitch is gonna use that Old West trick of throwing his cowboy hat in this guy's face and then trying to shove him down. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 12:33
Hold on. I'm sorry. Hitch has had a cowboy hat on this whole time?
cuppycup 12:36
Yes, of course. I thought it was implied, Ross.
Mary Lou 12:41
Of course, Ross.
Ross Bryant 12:42
I'm sorry. That's great, good to know.
Mary Lou 12:44
Understood.
Ross Bryant 12:45
It should have been understood. That's my bad.
cuppycup 12:47
Listen, I just want it to be on the record that Ross allowed somebody to have a pistol in their shoulder pad. But I can't wear a fucking cowboy hat. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 12:57
No, no, no. That's fine. We're in an antiseptic medical research facility, and we've got Kurt Russell from "Tombstone" walking around. Great. [laughter]
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 13:10
You tell 'em Hitch is coming. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 13:13
You flip your hat towards him. He's overwhelmed with hat power. [laughter] Yeah.
cuppycup 13:20
The power of overstimulation.
Ross Bryant 13:23
They're well and truly overstimulated. The one guy is trying to whip around and maybe get another shot at Charlie, but he gets a hat to the face. [laughter]
cuppycup 13:35
Do you need a Throw roll or something?
Ross Bryant 13:37
Yeah, give me a Throw roll just to see how well you do.
Mary Lou 13:40
Throw.
cuppycup 13:42
I'm sure I'm base at this. I rolled a 28. Could I use eight Luck and succeed there?
Scott Dorward 13:48
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 13:49
Yes, of course, you can use your Luck.
cuppycup 13:52
Okay, I'll do that. I'll use eight points of Luck and yeah, I'm gonna whip this hat like a professional.
Ross Bryant 13:58
I imagine this kind of looks like when Sailor Moon takes off her tiara and throws it at Queen Beryl or one of her minions.
cuppycup 14:05
This is actually what Hitch is thinking about in character as he does this. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 14:11
Yeah, so hat prism power and you blast this guy. [laughter; SFX: hat impact]
Mary Lou 14:22
(hums "Sailor Moon" theme) The flutes, the ocarina starts playing.
Ross Bryant 14:25
I want to say that you succeed so well at this, you're disengaged. These guys are in a muddle. (sings to tune of Sailor Moon "theme") She is the one named Hitch Gordon. [laughter] It's almost as if a voice comes into the back of your mind, Hitch.
Colton Dunn 14:47
Oh shit.
Ross Bryant 14:47
You have a feeling of like "I could take this further, if I wanted to." I could attempt to overcome them, not just with hat power or with blows or dexterity. But you and Reginald still feel that you remember those dreams, that you have a connection, in a way, to that thing you experienced. And you have a sense that you could, in some way use that connection at this moment. That is an intuition that you have. You can choose to ignore it and move on, or you could roll Power.
cuppycup 15:28
Oh, wow. I think he even like mumbles out loud, loud enough for Dr. Biggs to hear.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 15:33
You think I could get a fingernail horse out here? Fingernail Biscuit?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 15:39
What?
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 15:41
Nothing. Nothing, Doc, I think we got this truly well in hand. You want to finish tying these fellas up?
Colton Dunn 15:49
Yeah, yeah. Let's tie these guys up. Let's get them over there and let's all go in this room and figure out what the fuck is happening.
cuppycup 15:55
I think as Hitch is like grabbing the bed sheet again, he gets, like, a really good look at where his fingernails once were, and he does kind of like, he feels that power surging through him, and he's like,
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 16:08
What could I do if I played that fancy little flute with that man? I wouldn't have to worry about money.
cuppycup 16:17
And I think I will do a Power roll for Hitch in this moment.
Ross Bryant 16:21
Go for it.
Scott Dorward 16:23
Ooh.
cuppycup 16:24
I rolled a six. Holy shit.
Ross Bryant 16:28
Damn.
cuppycup 16:28
Yeah, that's extreme.
Mary Lou 16:30
That's amazing.
Ross Bryant 16:31
[MUSIC: Old West strings] Alright, so all of you see in this hallway, Hitch Gordon muttering to himself. And how I want to put this is that you invite these waking world antagonists into your dreams, so to speak. And suddenly what you see are all three of these men rise up off the floor as if suspended, turning upside down. And as Hitch Gordon stands there looking at them, exerting his powerful subconscious will at them, they are suddenly strung up in space, upside down, like the bodies of cows hanging in the air, dressed for beef. Everybody roll Sanity.
Scott Dorward 17:25
Yeah, fair.
cuppycup 17:27
I failed.
Scott Dorward 17:32
Yep, I've just passed.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 17:34
Ooh, I succeeded. That is insane. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 17:40
Those of you who failed, four points of Sanity loss.
Colton Dunn 17:43
Okay.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 17:45
I think Beth is just too focused. She's got a mission now. She's got the story. She's like a bloodhound on the scent. She's too focused.
Ross Bryant 17:55
You move out of this space into the door, through the door.
Mary Lou 17:58
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 17:59
Leaving the three of them sort of dangling there, held by nothing, just levitating. And you move into the room. You can see a desk with some papers, computer consoles, reports. It's a rather small room. There's another door in the back of this room that you could go through.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 18:21
Yeah, she's gonna rush to it with that key card.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 18:24
The secrets are back there.
Ross Bryant 18:27
Great.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 18:28
Yeah, let's check them out.
Ross Bryant 18:29
You scan the key card, and you walk into another room. [SFX: electronic door access] This is full of screens. As you move through this room with lots of computer screens with various readouts, everybody can give me either a Spot Hidden or a Library Use roll to decipher some of this information that is coming across on these screens as you move through this room.
cuppycup 18:56
Let's see how much Library Use old Hitch has.
Mary Lou 18:58
Yeah, I have a great Library Use.
cuppycup 19:02
Oh, nice.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 19:04
Mine is 60. I rolled a 64 but I'm gonna spend four points of Luck to pass my Library Use.
cuppycup 19:13
I have a hard success on Spot Hidden.
Scott Dorward 19:14
I just passed my first Spot Hidden roll of the game.
Ross Bryant 19:18
Great.
cuppycup 19:18
Nice. With a 70? [laughter] Oh, my God.
Colton Dunn 19:23
Spot Hidden. 22.
cuppycup 19:27
Oh, you succeeded too. Nice.
Ross Bryant 19:30
Dr. Biggs and Charlie Finch both succeeded. Hitch Gordon, you hard succeeded, right?
cuppycup 19:36
Yeah, I'm feeling the power.
Ross Bryant 19:39
And Beth, you succeeded on a Library Use roll.
Mary Lou 19:41
I did.
Ross Bryant 19:42
[MUSIC: ominous drone] For the Spot Hidden, gentlemen, you notice that a lot of these screens are cycling through photographs. You can see that a lot of them are... it seems to be some sort of organic matter laying in dissecting tables and petri dishes and microscopic slides, as they sort of like rack through, moving through the images. Dr. Biggs, you immediately recognize a very familiar cellular structure as it passes by, neither plant nor animal. And you get the feeling not Lion's Mane, not mushroom. Charlie, the Spot Hidden you notice is that beyond those screens, there are screens showing digital photographs of the outdoors, a river surrounded by plants, tall tropical trees. What looks like a drone photograph from high up above trees of a jungle and then of a village in the middle of the jungle. Small thatch-roofed buildings, people gazing up. Maybe hurling a spear with an atlatl up at the drone. And then on the ground, images of native peoples in this, what appears to be an Amazonian sort of environment. And then pictures that are kind of hard to describe, of like hands reaching out. A face with enormous pupils. A shape flanked by two trees. Beth, your Library Use... you're seeing, more granularly, some verbiage that's going by. Amazonian expedition. Uncontacted group 5/4/02, the date. And then paperwork that just goes by, scanned PDFs, government contract, neurology, assassination from a distance, psychic drone program. Scans from books that look very old. "Unlocking the Gate of Human Potential," "Pharmacology and the Mind," "Telepathic with the Deceased," things like this.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 22:18
Yeah, this is gonna make such a great story.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 22:22
This is craziness.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 22:24
A camera. Does anybody have a camera?
Ross Bryant 22:27
And Hitch you got that big, bad success. So what you notice, the Spot Hidden that you notice is in these photos. It seems as though it's like maybe a ritual space. The hands are clutching something. It looks almost like a root, rather like a Mandrake root. The thing with Mandrake being that it looks rather human, but is, in fact, vegetable. So it looks strangely neither vegetable nor plant, but the hands are holding it, and you see the file name as it scrolls by "Locals_La_Bruja_De_La_Noche."
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 23:06
It's a good thing I got 51 points in Spanish.
Mary Lou 23:09
Amazing.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 23:13
Beth.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 23:15
Uh huh?
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 23:16
I believe we have what you might call "slime in the ice machine," so to speak.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 23:21
What?
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 23:22
Look at this. Look! There's witches, there's magic, there's rituals. This ain't medicine. Dr. Biggs, this ain't medicine.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 23:33
Well, hey man, I don't know what this is, okay, this is...
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 23:36
It's the Night Witch! It's the Night Witch, the plant lady.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 23:42
La Bruja De La Noche.
Colton Dunn 23:43
I mean, I know what the Night Witch is.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 23:46
Is she who keeps sitting on my chest?
Ross Bryant 23:49
I think having seen that, Hitch, roll Sanity for me.
cuppycup 23:53
Okay, yeah, that's fair. I failed.
Ross Bryant 23:57
Okay, I like that. Oh, so that's two points of Sanity loss. Reginald...
Colton Dunn 24:04
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 24:05
He drew your attention to this photo.
Ross Bryant 24:07
Yes.
Ross Bryant 24:08
[MUSIC: ominous drone] And when he does, you see this darkness, a strange vegetal tuber being held by hands in the darkness. It's lit by fire. It's a black and white digital photograph, very blurry, difficult to make out. You heard the name La Bruja De La Noche, the Night Witch. This is what the locals called it. Called it? Called her? And when you look at this, you realize that this tuberous mass. This isn't a plant, this isn't a vegetable. This is an appendage of something that you gave a name to and that you saw in a dream. And I'm sorry I'm being so granular with all this, but that's only because the Night Witch is from your nightmare, and you're seeing a photograph of her finger.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 25:04
Oh, my God. Oh.
Ross Bryant 25:06
Make a Sanity roll, and see if you fail.
Colton Dunn 25:10
Oh God. 59.
Ross Bryant 25:14
That's why you're losing two points of Sanity right now. [laughter]
Colton Dunn 25:18
Okay, oh man, okay.
Ross Bryant 25:20
There's another door at the end of this space also.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 25:23
Dr. Biggs, do you have your phone? Take pictures. Take pictures of everything, and then give me your phone. I'll text it to myself. Oh, we are going to break the story of a lifetime.
Colton Dunn 25:35
We gotta break this thing wide open, because this is insanity, right here. It looks, I'll be honest, it looks like the ingredient might be people or something. I don't know, but this is just all of this stuff is just too much. And the Night Witch, how do you get a picture of something like this?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 25:49
Just take a picture of all the screens, all the photos. I'm gonna keep going.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 25:55
I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm taking pictures.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 25:58
This is all absolutely fascinating, right. This is all great. I'm glad you're getting the story of a lifetime. But has anyone worked out whether we've been fucking poisoned yet?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 26:08
Yes, man, yes!
Charlie Finch (Scott) 26:11
Then why aren't we doing something about that?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 26:14
What do you want to do? What do you want me to do?
Charlie Finch (Scott) 26:16
I'm sure it's going to be really useful to whoever investigates our deaths that we're providing them with all this information, this evidence. I want to live!
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 26:26
Alright. Well, then let's get out of here. You want to get out of here? Let's get out of here.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 26:31
Doc, don't you got something to like, make us throw up?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 26:32
I mean, I could probably whip something up, really quick. [laughter] But you guys have been ingesting this stuff. You've been ingesting this stuff for like weeks at this point, like, this is not just something, that you can throw up. This is a systemic...
cuppycup 26:48
Right, so it's just part of us now, I guess.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 26:50
So, what's going to happen to us?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 26:54
Well, how do you feel? Do you feel fine? Because I feel like I'm on fire. [laughter]
cuppycup 27:03
I'm with you, Beth. I feel powerful. I feel...
Colton Dunn 27:05
I think that our best chance is just to get this reporter out of here and let them tell the story. Let's just get... you got enough for your story?
cuppycup 27:12
No, we're all in on this. We're like nightcrawlers, right, Beth? We're a team? We all get paid?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 27:17
We're never gonna have a chance to get this information again, so we have to take photos of everything and we can't miss anything. I'm going... I'm going deeper in. We have no idea how far this goes.
Mary Lou 27:31
And she's gonna go farther into the door.
Ross Bryant 27:34
[MUSIC: ominous drone] Great. You open the door into the next room. [SFX: door creaks open, medical machinery] What you see is a more medical space than the others. There is a large, what looks like an incubator with lots of tubing and IVs and things sort of going into it. A whole mass of cables going into this oblong plastic.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 28:01
Dr. Biggs, make sure to get this.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 28:01
Do you want me to take a picture of this stuff in here?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 28:08
Take a picture of everything.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 28:10
You got it alright, we're taking a picture.
Ross Bryant 28:12
Oh, there's someone in there, by the way.
Scott Dorward 28:14
Oh. Who?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 28:14
[SFX: stunted breathing through machine] Is that guy on a breathing machine?
Ross Bryant 28:21
Sounds like he's been intubated.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 28:29
Oh, this poor man. He's probably been held here against his will for who knows how long. Oh, get a picture of him, Dr. Biggs.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 28:36
Yeah, alright.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 28:36
We're gonna save his life. Get close, get the tubes going into his mouth.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 28:37
Look, I'm gonna take a picture of these tubes, but I'm not gonna take a picture of his face, okay?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 28:47
Here, give me that!
Ross Bryant 28:48
You get close?
Mary Lou 28:50
Oh yeah, I want to try and take Dr. Biggs and get the angle. I need to get the angle. I have a 60 in Photography.
Ross Bryant 28:58
You advance up to the incubator, and you recognize immediately the body of Mark Tennyson.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 29:05
Well, it's Mark.
Ross Bryant 29:08
He is unresponsive, and his eyes are wide open. His pupils dilated to the maximum.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 29:16
What have they given him?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 29:17
Ah, who knows what they've done to him?
Mary Lou 29:21
And she's like circling it with the phone, like getting every angle.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 29:26
Oh, this poor man.
Ross Bryant 29:29
This is a rather disturbing scene, would you say? Let's get a Sanity roll off you.
Mary Lou 29:33
Mm-hmm, that's fair. I succeeded again.
Ross Bryant 29:39
Amazing.
Mary Lou 29:40
Beth is too focused on the story.
Scott Dorward 29:42
I failed.
Ross Bryant 29:44
Okay.
cuppycup 29:44
I succeeded. I think I'm just too far away.
Colton Dunn 29:47
Oh no, I failed it.
Ross Bryant 29:48
Those of you who failed, that's just two points of Sanity loss. It's a guy in an incubator.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 29:55
This isn't right. This isn't right.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 29:58
No, it's not right.
cuppycup 30:01
Should we unplug this guy?
Colton Dunn 30:03
Unplug him?
Charlie Finch (Scott) 30:04
No, no, no. We got to try to save him.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 30:07
No, no. We need him to live. That makes for a better story.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 30:12
Dr. Biggs, can you, can you save him? Can you get him out of this? Can you...
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 30:17
I mean, we could definitely revive him, for sure. We get this breathing tube out of here, but I don't know why he's been put in this coma in this back room. This can't be correct.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 30:26
Yeah, that's the problem. You don't know.
Mark Tennyson (Ross) 30:29
You can't unplug me.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 30:30
What?
Mark Tennyson (Ross) 30:32
You can't unplug me.
Ross Bryant 30:34
He's standing behind you somehow.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 30:38
Whoa, whoa. What's going on, man?
Charlie Finch (Scott) 30:41
What are you doing there?
Ross Bryant 30:42
He is unconscious with his eyes open in the incubator. Yet suddenly, he is behind you as well.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 30:50
Mark?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 30:50
What is going... what is this?
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 30:54
You're twins.
Mark Tennyson (Ross) 30:56
You have to understand that I don't want to do this.
Colton Dunn 31:01
Do what, man, what are you talking about doing?
Mark Tennyson (Ross) 31:04
You know.
Ross Bryant 31:05
He looks at you, Hitch.
Mark Tennyson (Ross) 31:08
You know how thin the line is.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 31:10
What's he talking about, Hitch?
Mark Tennyson (Ross) 31:12
Between waking and dreaming.
cuppycup 31:20
Charlie, you ever see that episode of "Sailor Moon" where they say a dream's just for the night?
Charlie Finch (Scott) 31:26
No. (laughs)
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 31:28
Well, it's a good one, but I'm starting to think they're wrong about that. Maybe dreams ain't just for nighttime anymore. The line's blurring Charlie, feels to me like we're dreaming right now.
Ross Bryant 31:41
A little screen crackles on, and a face that you've only seen on a painting as you walked into this facility is right back there.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 31:53
Ah, yes. Dr. Biggs, Miss Silverman, Mr. Gordon, Mr. Finch.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 32:00
Yeah.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 32:02
Yes. I suppose you're brimming over with questions.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 32:07
Yeah, man.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 32:08
Yes, no doubt.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 32:10
May I ask, who is speaking?
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 32:12
Oh, I'm Thomas Selkirk.
Ross Bryant 32:15
You, of course, know the Selkirk family are the owners of Asclepix Pharmaceuticals. Philanthropists, art collectors, massive political donors, one of the wealthiest families in the country, nay, the world.
Colton Dunn 32:32
Okay.
Ross Bryant 32:33
This is a very bland face, like white mustache, kind of receding hairline, looking at you.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 32:40
You have to understand that as far as these sort of medical tests go, one can't always be as forthcoming as they would like. Rather messes up the result, you understand? We have to see how attuned the particular individuals are to the pharmacology in question and don't want to influence the result. But Mr. Tennyson proved himself to be very amenable.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 33:12
Tennyson is taking... is he a part of the experiment?
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 33:18
Yes, Dr. Biggs, as are you. I believe you have already been wise enough to work that out.
Charlie Finch (Scott) 33:25
What have you done to us?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 33:26
Yeah, what's going on, man?
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 33:28
Yes, what have you done to us?
Mary Lou 33:31
She's gonna point. She's starting to record.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 33:35
Well, in a manner of speaking, I suppose I've given you a gift. I think you've already walked through our little archive there, so you already know that the pharmacology comes from a most unique place and a very peculiar source. It works rather as a psychedelic works, creating new neural pathways, unlocking long dormant potentials in the human mind. If it can be said that after taking this drug, that you are still human. I would say that you have perhaps ascended to rather another plane, no longer worthy of that pedestrian name. As have I.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 34:28
Okay, you're taking the same drug?
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 34:31
Well, that's what we found.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 34:32
Okay, we...
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 34:33
Dr. Biggs...
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 34:34
Alright, let's get out. We got to get out of here, all of us. So you...
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 34:37
There are levels to this, Dr. Biggs, there are levels to it. One can get on top of it. One can control it. One can move through the umbral, oneiric realm into waking life and back and forth. But more than that, one can influence others to do the same. Mr. Tennyson is very adept, and he is now under my control.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 35:05
So you're saying the government is in charge. This goes all the way to the US government. I knew it.
Scott Dorward 35:14
While this conversation is going on, I just want to go over to where Mr. Tennyson's lying in his incubator, look down at him, apologize very quietly, and then just start ripping out cables. [SFX: cables detaching]
Colton Dunn 35:28
Yeah, man, tear those cables. Let's go. Let's rip those cables out.
Ross Bryant 35:32
As soon as Selkirk sees you doing this like,
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 35:35
Oh, dear, he won't like that very much.
Ross Bryant 35:39
And Tennyson begins moving towards you, Finch.
Scott Dorward 35:44
I will rip harder.
Ross Bryant 35:45
Great.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 35:47
I wasted my hat. [laughter]
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 35:50
I'm getting all of this on camera.
Colton Dunn 35:53
I'll step in. I'll fight this guy.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 35:56
I'll keep him... I'll keep him off you, Finch. Stay away from Finch, you weirdo.
Ross Bryant 36:01
Great. Make a Fighting/Brawl roll. He will do the same.
Colton Dunn 36:05
No, that was not good.
Ross Bryant 36:09
Mine was not either.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 36:12
This drug makes you paranoid and disorderly. It's much like the effects of PCP and bath salts that we've seen raging across the suburbs.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 36:25
What it makes you see, Miss Silverman, is the truth. Some cannot accept the truth, but those who do accept it must control it, must master it.
Ross Bryant 36:40
What's happening behind you, Charlie Finch, is a total just clusterfuck. We're just like wrestling there in the middle of the room. [SFX: fighting]
cuppycup 36:51
Oh, Ross, for the very finale, should we roll a second title? [laughter]
Ross Bryant 36:57
Yeah, let's do one for the very finale. [laughter]
cuppycup 37:00
Because we forgot to push the roll.
Ross Bryant 37:02
Yeah, let's really give a theme to this last little moment.
cuppycup 37:08
I hope it just makes no sense at all. Let's see. Mary Lou, why don't you roll it?
Mary Lou 37:14
Okay. Three.
cuppycup 37:17
Okay. It's from Paul Fitz, and it is "High Fences Make Good Neighbors." [laughter]
Ross Bryant 37:25
Okay.
Mary Lou 37:26
That actually kind of works.
Scott Dorward 37:29
I mean, it's not just the fences that are high. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 37:35
Yes, Selkirk continues to babble and monologize there on the screen as you're tussling with the sort of oneric projection of Tennyson there in the room.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 37:49
Sadly, integral to this little American experiment is the concept that high fences make good neighbors, that it is privacy that makes us who we are. But the government wants to tear down those fences, move across thresholds into the minds of our enemies to secure us here at home. And those who control the technology will control the government. I tell you all this freely, because none of you, of course, will be leaving this room. [laughter]
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 38:21
What? Oh, hell no.
cuppycup 38:24
Ross, can Hitch try channeling that nightmare energy again the way he did with the security guards, but this time turn it on to Tennyson?
Ross Bryant 38:31
What an awesome idea. I wish you would.
cuppycup 38:34
Well, maybe Hitch hears all this talk about high fences making good neighbors, and decides to fence Mark in, like, surround him with, I don't know, shadows and fingernails, whatever's lurking inside Hitch's head. Just let him have it.
Scott Dorward 38:48
Can I angle to give Hitch a bonus die on this just from the distraction of the fact that Charlie at this stage, I mean, he doesn't know anything about how incubators or any medical equipment works. So he is just going completely ham on this incubator, just ripping stuff, smashing stuff, pushing stuff. It may not be very destructive, or it may not be the right kind of destructive, but it's certainly noisy.
Ross Bryant 39:15
Great. Go for it.
cuppycup 39:16
[MUSIC: triumphant Old West] And I have never needed a bonus die less because I rolled a natural one.
Scott Dorward 39:21
Fucking hell. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 39:23
Holy smoke.
Mary Lou 39:24
Yeah.
cuppycup 39:24
That is wild.
Ross Bryant 39:26
Okay, great. Amazing. What would you like to happen right now?
cuppycup 39:31
Yeah, with that roll, the one especially, maybe since Hitch screwed up Rope Use earlier, he's taking control of those cables that Charlie's pulling from the incubator. [SFX: cables move] They'll, like, lash out around Tennyson's other form, fencing him in or trapping him. And it's so intense, just like so intense, that Hitch loses control. [laughter] And the cables just start ripping intestines and veins from the body, using them too, like tangling him up in his own insides. [SFX: organs squish] It's messy and awful, but Hitch's dreams are finally turned loose on the world.
Ross Bryant 40:05
Amazing. What the rest of you see is something right out of like "Tetsuo: The Iron Man" [laughter] as just like a coil, a snarl of medical-grade cables, tubes and pipes take on a life of their own, and like tentacles, lash across the space and entangle and ensnare this projection of Tennyson.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 40:30
Whoa.
Ross Bryant 40:31
This projection is a ruin. You're ripping it to pieces.
cuppycup 40:36
Okay. [laughter]
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 40:38
By the power of the moon, I will punish you. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 40:45
Yes, you have broken through his fences. Beth, Reginald and Charlie make Sanity rolls, please.
Mary Lou 40:52
Yeah, okay. Let's see if I pass another one. Oh, my God, I passed another one.
Scott Dorward 40:59
Zero, five. I'm okay with this.
Ross Bryant 41:03
Holy frijoles. [laughter] I can't believe, this is the least insane that anyone's gone in one of these games.
cuppycup 41:11
Especially Beth.
Mary Lou 41:12
I know, I'm dying to go insane. I started at 35.
Ross Bryant 41:16
Because I'm rolling really low too. Oh my god, you rolled a three. Okay. Yeah. Everyone rolls... everyone feels great. They feel better, actually.
Scott Dorward 41:25
Yeah, this is therapeutic evisceration.
Ross Bryant 41:28
Exactly. Yeah, this is exposure therapy. You're loving this. Great, Yes, this thing is totally ensnarled and ensnared.
Mary Lou 41:39
Uh huh.
Ross Bryant 41:40
And you're just seeing it ripped apart and sort of dissolving in front of you.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 41:44
Oh my gosh.
Ross Bryant 41:45
Selkirk continues to kind of look at you from the screen.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 41:50
Wow, wow.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 41:53
You gotta let us out, or we're gonna do that to you.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 41:57
Oh, let you out, Dr. Biggs?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 41:59
Yeah.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 41:59
It seems that Mr. Gordon is most adept at getting on top of the medicine, but he has not been microdosing it as long as I have.
cuppycup 42:14
These people ain't real. I didn't kill anybody, right?
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 42:19
Well...
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 42:19
Of course, of course not. These are some sort of projections or crisis actors. If we can just get out of here, I can call my producer and we can have a camera truck down here in 15 minutes.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 42:36
Let's do this.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 42:37
Let's get out of here.
Ross Bryant 42:38
Reginald, I would like you to make a Power roll, please. You were the other one who got on top of it. You heard the music.
cuppycup 42:49
Holy smokes.
Mary Lou 42:49
Oh my gosh. [laughter] You just rolled two threes in a row. How did you do that?
Scott Dorward 42:59
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 42:59
[MUSIC: ominous drone] You've been exposed to this thing that... you were the one who evoked the name the Night Witch.
Colton Dunn 43:07
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 43:07
It's maybe something you've known ever since you were a little kid, just kind of there under the surface of your consciousness. And when you hear the arrogance in Selkirk's voice telling you like,
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 43:21
You have not been microdosing it as long as I have.
Ross Bryant 43:25
That he is trying to throw his will out into that room to crush you and ensnare you and ensorcel you in the way he did to Tennyson. Your will moves out also, aided and abetted by the wonderful goo in that delicious juice. In that chalky juice. You have a vision, Dr. Reginald Jefferson Biggs. [SFX: tropical birds, plants chopped] You are hacking through the jungle, moving through long tendrils of vines, past the scuttling insects and the calling birds down into the valley where the cataract waterfall splashes. You don't know what time it is. This could be thousands of years ago. This group of peoples has not been contacted by the outside world for maybe centuries. And you greet them, and they greet you back. You see their ways and their traditions and the ways in which they pay homage to her, their patron, she who dwelled in this land for centuries before, for countless eons before. She is nameless, but they give her many names, names that have filtered up through the currents of the subconscious, through music with no lyrics, but which speaks in articulate discords. The Night Witch, she is there in the shadows of the jungle, and with their music, they pay her homage, and she gives them gifts of her flesh, so that they may live two lives, one waking, one dreaming, passing between them at will, exerting their will at a distance, as long as they take her holy communion. [SFX: helicopter] And then see the representatives of the company coming in and extracting it, exploiting them, rending off chunks of her flesh and taking it back, refining it in their laboratory and attempting to use it to their own ends. It was you who knew her name. And you see her now in this vision. She is not a woman, she is not a man. She is nothing you have ever seen. [SFX: creature moves and vocalizes] Her eight limbs loom up out of the forest, and she looks at you with organs of admittance that are not eyes, looks through you, past you, through time, sees you as a child, as an old man, of everything you've ever been in a dream. And she offers you her mouth, which opens up. Her tongue unspooling, looking like a gray Mandrake root that dangles in front of you. She wants to kiss you, to take the communion. Will you accept? [laughter]
Mary Lou 46:37
Kiss her.
Dr. Biggs (Colton) 46:39
Alright. He kisses her. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 46:44
You are in control of dream and waking, Reginald Jefferson Biggs. [laughter] You're in this room with the projected body of Tennyson is wrecked and dissolving on the floor. The real Tennyson seems to be possibly also dead, having had all this stuff torn out of him. [laughter]
cuppycup 47:06
So sorry.
Ross Bryant 47:06
What would you like to happen at this moment? You can bend the rules of reality as you see fit.
Colton Dunn 47:15
I bring that CEO into the room.
Ross Bryant 47:21
Suddenly, his face disappears from the screen. All this happened in like a microsecond, by the way.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 47:28
Microdosing it as long as I have...
Ross Bryant 47:31
And he's like suddenly off balance in the room with you.
Thomas Selkirk (Ross) 47:38
But... impossible.
Colton Dunn 47:42
I just did it. Get him. [laughter]
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 47:46
Oh, I'm getting it. I'm getting it.
Mary Lou 47:48
She's got it perfectly framed.
Scott Dorward 47:51
I imagine there's probably something like a dripper, a bag they've been using to drip this stuff into the unfortunate Mr. Tennyson.
Ross Bryant 48:00
Oh yes, oh yes. There's a gray fluid dripping on the floor.
Scott Dorward 48:05
So yeah, what Charlie wants to do is grab that and basically grab the CEO and stuff the bag into his mouth and just rupture it.
cuppycup 48:17
Yes.
Mary Lou 48:19
Like a Go-GURT like a Capri-Sun.
Ross Bryant 48:23
You can see him just sputter like... (struggles as Selkirk) [SFX: gurgling liquid]
Charlie Finch (Scott) 48:28
Sleep well.
Ross Bryant 48:29
And as he does that, you see something crawling up his back, its yellow eyes peeping at you from behind his torso. It is a small man, a projection of yours, as like it crawls up on him and sits down upon him in a bizarre facsimile of the painting "The Nightmare." He's like sitting on his body there on the floor, who is shaking and convulsing as this fluid is pumped into him. And it peers up at you with a leering little smile. Please roll Sanity, Beth and Charlie. Roll Sanity, everybody.
Mary Lou 49:07
Yeah, okay. Finally, it all comes crashing down. I rolled a 99.
cuppycup 49:16
And I also failed.
Ross Bryant 49:17
Great.
Scott Dorward 49:19
Whereas I think Charlie's finding this quite cathartic.
Ross Bryant 49:24
We finally get to five points of Sanity loss for those who failed.
cuppycup 49:29
Okay.
Ross Bryant 49:30
Those who succeeded, just take two.
Colton Dunn 49:31
I think I'm going insane then.
Ross Bryant 49:34
Have you lost 12 total?
Colton Dunn 49:36
Yeah, I think I just hit 12.
Ross Bryant 49:38
Oh, good.
Mary Lou 49:40
How many do you need to lose to go...
Ross Bryant 49:43
1/5 of your total.
Mary Lou 49:45
Well, that would be exactly what I've hit. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 49:49
Great. So Reginald is insane. Beth is insane. [laughter] Charlie's doing great. Hitch is okay, I take it.
cuppycup 49:57
I think I need to roll Intelligence on the five.
Ross Bryant 50:00
Roll Intelligence, please.
cuppycup 50:01
Yeah. Oh, there it goes. Oh, I passed. 32.
Ross Bryant 50:05
Oh, good. So you have a Bout of Madness. Wonderful. I think the Indefinite Insanity of Reginald and Beth is the result of becoming one with a Godhead. [laughter]
Mary Lou 50:18
Yeah, that'll do it.
Ross Bryant 50:19
[MUSIC: ominous drone] As Mr. Selkirk intimated, the exposure to this has not only kind of altered your brain chemistry. You are no longer human. The poison has not given you a sickness. It has given you a gift. You have become like her. You are like her children. You have shared her kiss. So, yeah, your cares are no longer of this world.
Colton Dunn 50:49
Got it.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 50:49
That's just fine.
Ross Bryant 50:50
Hitch, yeah. How do you think this affects you?
cuppycup 50:55
I think Hitch is now fully believing that he's trapped in a nightmare, and so he's going to be obsessed with waking himself up. And I think one way that might manifest is that instead of biting down his fingernails, he's going to go a little bit further.
Ross Bryant 51:12
Yeah, that sounds about right.
cuppycup 51:14
Yeah. He's going to, like, bite down on the first knuckle of his index finger.
Ross Bryant 51:19
Hitch, you have to wake up. This is all a nightmare. You never came here. You've been asleep this whole time. If you get enough pain, you're gonna wake yourself out of it as you put your index finger all the way into your mouth and bite down.
Hitch Gordon (cuppycup) 51:32
Just need more pain.
cuppycup 51:35
Crunch.
Ross Bryant 51:39
Tell me, Reginald... well, first, Beth, how do you think this Indefinite Insanity manifests for you?
Mary Lou 51:46
Well, first, she says,
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 51:48
Whatever has happened to you has happened for you. [laughter]
Mary Lou 51:53
And her Boston accent slips through finally. She can no longer hold it back.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 52:02
And whatever has happened to you has happened for you. Oprah Winfrey said that. [laughter]
Mary Lou 52:09
And I think she can only speak in Oprah Winfrey quotes now.
Ross Bryant 52:13
Great. May I offer that like from maybe the projection of your will causes this to happen. Selkirk is still in this room. Beholding all of this. The shadows seem to come alive, and something looms up behind him and throws a black bag over his head. [SFX: creature rises and bag moves] And together with this thing, they both sink into the floor.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 52:38
Yes, you are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. Oprah Winfrey said that.
Ross Bryant 52:52
The entire room and building is shaking at this point. [SFX: metal rattles] Answer me this question. Reginald Jefferson Biggs, you are combined with something extraplanar.
Colton Dunn 53:04
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 53:05
What do you look like?
Colton Dunn 53:09
I look like somebody who sleeps forever. All I want to do is, anybody I touch is to put them to sleep forever. My motive was always to give people the best sleep, and now I know I can do that with my power, and I'm going to make everybody go to sleep.
Ross Bryant 53:28
Perhaps, Charlie, the last thing you see in this room as you're just like, "I'm okay. I'm on top of this. It looks like everything's fine." As you lock eyes with Reginald Jefferson Biggs, MD. And just to gaze into his eyes is to fall to slumber. [laughter]
Scott Dorward 53:49
That's what I came here for. [laughter]
Mary Lou 53:54
Just wanted to sleep.
Ross Bryant 53:55
As maybe the final finger on your left hand goes through your teeth, Hitch Gordon, you too also fall into unconsciousness.
cuppycup 54:08
Oh yes.
Mary Lou 54:09
And maybe these words echo in your ear,
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 54:11
The thing you fear the most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free. Oprah Winfrey said that. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 54:26
[MUSIC: dramatic strings] It's months later. A soldier at an army base is sitting across from someone at a desk.
Soldier (Ross) 54:39
I don't know what it is, Doc. I feel like I'm a good shot. I'm good at everything, but it's just something about what I seen. I have a hard time sleeping at night.
Military Doctor (Ross) 54:48
Yes, I understand, but your skills do make you a very worthy addition to our regimen. I think, young man, that you may be selected for higher things. I'm going to put you on a prescription.
Ross Bryant 55:09
He slides a little bottle across the table.
Military Doctor (Ross) 55:13
I think that you will find that sleep will come a lot easier afterwards. And after that, Uncle Sam's going to have a job for you. So just think of this as your duty, son. No need to worry about what side effects it may include. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 55:35
And perhaps life goes on. The Selkirk family has other scions to continue their great work. But people seem to fall asleep and not wake up with a greater regularity, causing Asclepix to develop a new drug that helps to keep people up to combat this rising sleeping sickness. [laughter] As many people describe having seen someone in their dream, people talk over coffee that they can't quite put their finger on it. And sometimes they're sketching out absentmindedly, their left hand not even knowing what they're writing, and someone passes by and looks down at a curiously impassive face that only a few people would probably recognize as the face of Reginald Jefferson Biggs, MD. God of sleep. [laughter] And that's where we'll leave it.
Colton Dunn 56:35
Nice!
cuppycup 56:37
As a television commercial with an orange octagonal pill rotates on the screen. [laughter]
Mary Lou 56:44
Yeah.
Colton Dunn 56:45
Have you seen this man? You need to take this pill.
Scott Dorward 56:49
Yeah, that was really good.
Colton Dunn 56:51
Oh god, that was fun, man.
Beth Silverman (Mary Lou) 56:53
I'm not gonna sleep tonight.
Ross Bryant 56:54
That was so fun. Great stuff, y'all.
cuppycup 56:59
That was creepy. Yeah.