Transcript - Episode 21: The Worst Gift Ever Given (Part 2)
Audio for The Worst Gift Ever Given Part 2
The Worst Gift Ever Given Part 2
Wed, Dec 31, 2025
“Push the Roll with Ross Bryant” is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
Ross Bryant 00:03
So Marcella has had a vision, and perhaps shares it in the words that they can conjure with the people who are there participating in this ritual. You're a part of this. You're a part of this. You've all been given a gift, and I'd like a gift right now. Can we get another title? I'm going to "push the roll" so to speak. [laughter]
Josephine McAdam 00:34
I'd like a gift right now.
cuppycup 00:37
Ross, who would you like to roll it? We're gonna do a d100 this time.
Ross Bryant 00:41
Who wants it? Well, I feel like Marcella, or Paula, you are our Sybil. So why don't you roll the die and see where it lands?
Paula Deming 00:53
All right.
cuppycup 00:54
Roll those bone dice. Yeah.
Becca Scott 00:57
Let's see what happens.
Paula Deming 01:00
That would be, ah, our gift from Saturn is a 71. I'm glad I rolled that for this and not for a check of some sort.
cuppycup 01:09
Okay, yeah, all right, so this ah..
Paula Deming 01:15
Oh no.
cuppycup 01:16
No, no, no, it's fine. This comes from Oisín on patreon.com/pushtheroll. And the second title is "Cursed by Your Ancestors to Pay Rent on Your Heritage."
Becca Scott 01:28
Pay rent.
Josephine McAdam 01:32
Don't you love when the subtitle is longer than the original title of the story? [laughter]
cuppycup 01:38
It's funny because, well, I have it in a spreadsheet, so I did have to click on it to see the full title.
Josephine McAdam 01:43
Yeah.
Paula Deming 01:43
That doesn't seem like a very nice gift. A curse from your ancestors.
Everyone 01:48
[sounds of thoughtful agreement]
Ross Bryant 01:49
[MUSIC: melancholic guitar theme] The cosmos is a cyclopean infinity of chaos, infinite branching paths stretching off to vistas in the distance that will drive the mind mad. Shall we shrink in the face of all this? Or will we climb aboard the chaos and ride it to the end, letting chance guide the way? This is Push the Roll. We're rolling dice against your Patreon suggestions to create improvised Call of Cthulhu adventures in real time with themes of eldritch horror, the weird, the transhuman, the transmundane, the cyberpunk, the splatterpunk, the anything punk. We don't know until we roll. Anytime, anyplace, anything can happen when you push the roll.
Ross Bryant 02:42
I have a crazy idea. Just follow me, and if you're like, I don't like this, just let me know
cuppycup 02:53
We liked the children slaughtering animals. So I think we're down for whatever you got, Ross. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 02:58
[sound of footsteps] Brenda, your captain is walking you down the hallway past the electric lights.
cuppycup 03:11
[uncertain] What?
Captain (Ross) 03:15
I don't know he just keeps, he just keeps yammering. I don't know. I don't know if it's a good cop, bad cop, sort of routine we got to do right now. But um, I figure if somebody's going to be the bad cop, it might as well be you. You wanted to be a detective. So Merry Christmas to you.
Ross Bryant 03:34
You walk down the hallway and there's, there's a few paltry Christmas decorations up here in the 35th precinct, but they're walking you downstairs.
Captain (Ross) 03:43
You know, it's Christmas, so we're working with a skeleton crew. Allow me to introduce you to Marcella, court mandated counselor. Not really my line.
Ross Bryant 03:54
He turns to you,
Captain (Ross) 03:55
It's like, I don't know why you want to get into the heads of these freaks.
Marcella (Paula) 03:59
Well, look, everyone has a reason for the things that they do, and some of us are more gifted with being able to see beyond that veil than others. I can help.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 04:08
Sure. Marcella, I'm just gonna ask, just let me do my thing in there. Okay, it may seem like your client's unhappy, or maybe, you know, I'm making them cry too much. Just let the process happen.
Marcella (Paula) 04:23
I will allow you to do your job, and you will allow me to do mine. It will be fine.
Paula Deming 04:29
A small note about Marcella, maybe she, I think, is brought in as like a counselor, like to do the psychological evaluation. But what people don't know is that Marcella doesn't actually do like proper scientific psychological evaluations. She's a psychic, so she doesn't want people to know that that's actually how she's getting her information. It's not through a Freudian or Jungian or any other kind of psychological analysis she gets senses and feelings and visions.
Captain (Ross) 05:04
Great, and just where they won't necessarily be sitting in on the interview, but, you know, behind a glass or whatever, just, you know, you get a particular freak like this, then you want to gather all the information that you can. I got a little last minute ad hoc squad together. Now, you know Max, forensics.
Max (cuppycup) 05:24
Hey, good to see you. How you been?
Detective Brenda (Becca) 05:27
Max. Pleasure.
Max (cuppycup) 05:30
Yeah, I love being here.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 05:32
Okay, don't look too excited.
Marcella (Paula) 05:34
That's interesting - you love being here. That's very interesting. I'd love to talk with you more about that later.
Max (cuppycup) 05:41
Oh, I love to work. This is where my brain makes sense.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 05:45
Bunch of freaks.
Captain (Ross) 05:47
Not for nothing, but you know how it is. We had to get somebody in from out of town. You know, apparently this might be a pattern. Uh, what was it? Cass?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 05:58
Yeah, it's Caspius.
Captain (Ross) 06:01
Caspius! Oh, I'm sorry. Apparently they take anybody down at Quantico. This is, ah, Cass from the FBI.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 06:09
Hey, Caspius Law.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 06:12
Well, you're in the right line of work for the name.
Marcella (Paula) 06:14
Yes! [laughing]
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 06:17
Oh yeah. First time I've heard that one.
Captain (Ross) 06:19
Yeah. What do they call that? A nominative determinism? [laughter]
Detective Brenda (Becca) 06:24
They do. They do. That is what they call that.
Captain (Ross) 06:27
See, I'm no dummy! I know things!
Captain (Ross) 06:31
All right. Look, I don't have time for this. I know everybody would like to get back to their families, so I just want you to interview this freak so we can know exactly what's going on here. Oh, God.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 06:31
[dryly] Ha ha.
Max (cuppycup) 06:34
Not me. No, I'm good. I'll stay as long as you need.
Captain (Ross) 06:50
Okay, I love that enthusiasm.
Max (cuppycup) 06:52
I'm weirdly fine with all of this.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 06:55
I've got some kung fu movies and popcorn and bourbon with my name on it.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 07:02
All right, let's not try to break all of the rules here when we're questioning folks, come on.
Captain (Ross) 07:09
Oh, I'm loving this little, uh, hot head, cool head, dynamic we already got breaking out here. Uh, Brenda Casper, keep my eyes on you. Uh, Caspius (placing emphasis on the -ius), sorry!
Marcella (Paula) 07:18
Caspius, perhaps you remember, I think we've worked together on a case before just a few years back.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 07:25
Oh yeah, I remember you, Marcella. How are you doing?
Marcella (Paula) 07:27
Oh, I'm... it's nice to see you again. Merry Christmas.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 07:30
Yeah, yeah. Merry, Merry Christmas.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 07:33
Whoa, is that mistletoe? [chuckles] Calm down, everybody.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 07:36
Okay, all right, yeah.
Marcella (Paula) 07:38
A pleasant… pleasantries, just extending pleasantries.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 07:41
We're just being polite. Brenda, you should try it.
Marcella (Paula) 07:44
Well, should we interview the suspect?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 07:49
Yeah, no, yeah. After you.
Captain (Ross) 07:51
Brenda, you've been working out? What, you look bigger every time I see you!
Detective Brenda (Becca) 07:56
Hey, thank you! You know how to get, is this my Christmas present?
Captain (Ross) 08:00
Boss probably shouldn't talk about his employees bodies. Okay, [laughter] I don't know. Look under your Christmas tree. I might have got you for Secret Santa. Maybe you get a Shake Weight or something. All right.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 08:12
We're lifting, what? Two, three hundred pounds here! Shake Weight? What am I gonna do with this Shake Weight?
Captain (Ross) 08:19
All right, okay, wrap this thing up by New Year's, okay? The mayor's breathing down my neck. He doesn't want to have this story playing for the people at the jolliest time of year, okay? Not exactly the most holly jolliest story. So get in, get all the facts. I don't want any more of this before the year's out.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 08:39
All right, I'm ready. Let's go.
Captain (Ross) 08:43
He's in interview cell 504.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 08:46
My favorite.
Ross Bryant 08:47
And he goes walking away. And you can see down a long hallway, there at the end of the hallway, 504 where it seems the suspect is being kept. Brenda, you already know that the suspect's name is Ray Salvatorio and all you know is that he was apprehended leaving a murder scene, and it's particularly gruesome. In fact, Maximus, why don't you roll some sort of craft roll if you've got it? Or what on your current sheet would make sense for your research? So you could bring people up to speed.
cuppycup 09:25
Oh, could we say I was a bone craftsman in the past? So maybe...
Ross Bryant 09:30
Exactly! And in a way, you are a bone craftsman.
cuppycup 09:33
Maybe modern Max is basically the reconstruction guy. Crime scenes get real messy. So whenever there's like fire or violence or major impacts. His job is basically to figure out, you know, what used to be a person, kind of backing into, you know "what happened here?"
Ross Bryant 09:51
I love that.
cuppycup 09:52
I think I could roll natural world maybe?
Ross Bryant 09:57
Yeah.
cuppycup 09:57
I have sword. [laughter]
Paula Deming 09:59
Yeah, with our dark age sheets. [giggling]
Josephine McAdam 10:03
This is crazy, Ross. [laughter] You're crazy. You're a genius! You're incredible!
Ross Bryant 10:09
No, no, no.
cuppycup 10:11
I'll do natural world. I'll do natural world. I like that. Oh, I rolled 42 over 40, but I would love to spend two points of luck to succeed.
Ross Bryant 10:21
Spend away.
cuppycup 10:23
Down to 48 luck. What did I find, Ross? Are you going to give me any details?
Ross Bryant 10:30
Great. I just want to tell you the pictures that are a couple of the pictures that are in your hands. One of them looks like an interior of an apartment. The next one, it looks like two people seated at a kitchenette table. The next one is those two people closer up. And now you can see on the photography that it looks as though they've been sort of unzipped from the neck down to the navel. And the table is set. And on the table are many of their organs, plated, all along the table. There's blood all over the floor, and it looks as though they've been almost like hollowed out.
cuppycup 11:22
Max is vibrating like way, way too energized about this.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 11:26
Max. Maximus.
Max (cuppycup) 11:27
Okay, okay. So it's staged like a dinner setting.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 11:30
Max, you gotta chill.
Max (cuppycup) 11:32
Organs are plated.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 11:33
You just gotta chill. This is... this behavior...
Max (cuppycup) 11:35
It's not random. It's deliberate.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 11:37
You can't enjoy seeing bodies this much.
Max (cuppycup) 11:41
Sorry if I got carried away. It's just, I know this is horrifying. It's just this isn't a sloppy crime. Whoever did this wanted it to read like a message.
Paula Deming 11:51
Marcella just takes a little notepad. She's gonna jot down a couple notes about how Max is reacting to this.
Marcella (Paula) 11:57
Interesting. Later, I would like to speak with you about how you really feel about all of this. But now it's not the time.
cuppycup 11:57
[laughs]
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 12:03
No, for some of us, it's not the first time we've seen this.
Ross Bryant 12:09
Yes, as a matter of fact, Caspius, I don't even think I need to roll that the reason the FBI has been called in here is because this fits a disturbing pattern...
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 12:19
It's a disturbing pattern.
Ross Bryant 12:22
...of these very elaborate...
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 12:24
Elaborate.
Ross Bryant 12:26
...and disturbing...
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 12:27
Disturbing.
Ross Bryant 12:28
... murder scenes.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 12:29
Murder.
Ross Bryant 12:31
And you know, of course, that part of the reason that this is set up in such a way, one of the most disturbing parts, is that in the rare cases where someone has been apprehended - and only maybe one person has - you're, of course, in New Jersey right now, but...
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 12:47
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ross Bryant 12:48
...but a similar MO you found in rural Louisiana.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 12:55
Mmmh.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 12:55
Hmmm.
Ross Bryant 12:56
The suspect was taken into custody and wouldn't even talk. But through medical analysis, it was determined that he had eaten quite a bit of his victim. I want to say you're all welcome to enter. Only Marcella and Brenda were kind of given license to enter. There is a one way mirror on the other side of the room with a little gallery where you can watch.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 13:24
All right, I'm gonna stay behind this window here if Brenda, you want to give it a good shot first.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 13:33
Wait, wait, you're saying, in Louisiana, you caught the guy already, and he ate the bodies? So this is like a copycat? Yes, was there news reports about the case?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 13:45
You know, it's really a need to know basis right now, it's still, you know, it's an ongoing investigation, but, um, yeah, more or less he was eating them.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 13:54
So couldn't be the same killer.
Ross Bryant 13:56
Yeah, the previous suspect is in a maximum security psychiatric facility.
Marcella (Paula) 14:01
Two potentially unrelated people.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 14:05
That's all I need to know!
Becca Scott 14:06
I go in there. I just open the door and I immediately sock him in the face, in the jaw, as hard as I can. [laughing]
Marcella (Paula) 14:12
I go in very quickly after her.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 14:17
Honor my tactics, Marcella!
Marcella (Paula) 14:19
No, okay, okay, everyone! Everyone, let's calm... let's calm down. Right? I'm here to help facilitate, I think, and observe everyone, and let's calm down. [clears throat]
Becca Scott 14:36
Maybe I pulled the punch just a centimeter from his face. Marcella grabbed my elbow.
Ross Bryant 14:42
He just kind of moves back slightly, not really a flinch, as he looks up at you.
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 14:47
Oh, Merry Christmas.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 14:49
No flinch. Impressive.
Becca Scott 14:53
I sit down, but I spin the chair around. I kick it, and it spins, and then I sit backwards on the chair.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 14:58
Ray Salvatorio. Brenda "the Bold" they call me around here. Brenda. Brenda, bold bolderifico.
Ross Bryant 15:09
You're looking at a little man, kind of paunchy. He's mostly bald. He's got little wire-rim glasses on. He's handcuffed to a grommet on the table. There's a little glass of water that he can kind of reach and just get to his lips. I say glass. It's a plastic cup, and he kind of looks up at you,
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 15:32
All right.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 15:35
You made your own little nativity scene.
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 15:36
Heh.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 15:36
Are you painter, Ray?
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 15:42
Conventional artwork has always sort of eluded me. I'm not really into that sort of thing, no. I work at Kinko’s.
Josephine McAdam 15:54
Yeah, and Caspius, I assume Maximus or Max is back here. We're behind the plexiglass, you know, sort of watching, I assume, like sipping some coffee. I'm gonna slide like a box of donuts Max's way if he wants to partake as we're just watching on.
Max (cuppycup) 16:13
Oh, thank you! Sprinkles. Gosh, I don't, I don't think he did it.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 16:20
Oh, yeah?
Max (cuppycup) 16:22
Look at him. He's a performer. He wants us to think he did it. I don't know. Maybe he's not innocent, but it doesn't look like guilt to me.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 16:31
Would you get a degree in this Max or something?
Max (cuppycup) 16:34
I've got a forensics degree. You know, blood, fiber analysis, studying prints. But you know, Marcella has been teaching me the other half how to look at a room, how to read a room without touching it. I'm still learning.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 16:51
Oh, Marcella? Oh, yeah. Are you too close or...
Max (cuppycup) 16:56
Ah, yeah. Like, she's like a sister to me, you know?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 16:59
Like, like a sister? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Max (cuppycup) 17:02
Yeah.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 17:03
Cool. Uh... yeah.
Max (cuppycup) 17:05
But yeah, she's great. Like, unfairly great.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 17:08
Oh yeah, she's great. She's great. Yeah, everyone thinks Marcella is great, yeah. Just like everyone else, umm...
Max (cuppycup) 17:14
It's amazing that she's not seeing anybody right now.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 17:17
Oh, is that right? Is that right?
Max (cuppycup) 17:19
Yeah. I mean, I've tried to set her up with some of my friends, but...
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 17:22
No way.
Max (cuppycup) 17:22
...I guess they're all like, a little too geeky or something.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 17:25
Whoa. No, I don't believe that. Really?
Ross Bryant 17:27
I want to see you both seated at a table, [laughter] looking through this one way mirror, between you stapled to a cork board on the wall is just a smiling Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. And as you're talking about who's single, who's not, this loaded little conversation, let's move back out through the mirror, and now we see Brenda and Marcella and this man handcuffed to the table.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 17:55
What happened, Ray? What happened to these people?
Ross Bryant 18:01
He looks around the room. It's like "I have nothing to say to you."
Becca Scott 18:05
Brenda's circled around behind him, sort of slams on the table on either side of him.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 18:13
Salvatorio, gonna be so much easier for you. You just tell me, how'd you get into the apartment? Let's start there.
Ross Bryant 18:24
Seems like you're gonna have to roll something. He's not really looking very accommodating. He doesn't really look back at you. He looks over towards the mirror, and it seems kind of like looking it seems like at his own reflection. But Max, you get the sense that he's looking right into your eyes.
cuppycup 18:44
Ooh, might I roll SAN on that, Ross?
Ross Bryant 18:47
Yes.
cuppycup 18:48
Okay.
Ross Bryant 18:48
Yes.
cuppycup 18:50
I failed my SAN by one.
Ross Bryant 18:52
Great. You're taking one point of sanity loss.
cuppycup 18:56
Okay, I'm pretty low SAN. Yeah.
Ross Bryant 18:57
He's looking at you.
Becca Scott 19:00
Oh! We got it. That's a regular success for intimidate.
Ross Bryant 19:05
Great. Tell me how you intimidate him. You pounded on the table. He kind of jerks a little bit.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 19:13
Gonna be so much easier for you if you give us what we want. We already know you did it. What harm is there in telling your little tale? Don't you want the world to know why you made this masterpiece?
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 19:31
I don't need to tell you why. You'll know why. Soon. Everyone will.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 19:39
What's that mean, Ray?
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 19:42
I gave them a gift. I gave you a gift. You don't understand.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 19:55
Help us understand.
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 19:57
Because you're still asleep.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 19:59
Oh. You gonna get something in return?
Ross Bryant 20:05
He kind of looks, still away from you, into the mirror, into your eyes, Maximus, he's like,
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 20:11
You've seen it. You saw the gift I gave them. I showed them. I showed them the way out.
Paula Deming 20:23
I'm following his gaze and see he's looking in the mirror, but it looks like he's kind of looking through the mirror, almost like I can see, you know? And I look back,
Marcella (Paula) 20:35
What are you seeing right now, Ray?
Paula Deming 20:37
I have insight. Could I use insight for this?
Ross Bryant 20:43
That sounds perfect for this!
Paula Deming 20:45
Yeah, there's an insight stat on this dark ages sheet, which is very cool.
Josephine McAdam 20:49
Wild.
Paula Deming 20:50
I have a 50 in it. Okay, so that's a 99. Um. [various sounds of surprise]
Ross Bryant 20:57
Oh, is that a fumble?
Paula Deming 20:57
It's not because I have a 50 in it.
Ross Bryant 20:57
Right, because you have a 50, alas.
Paula Deming 20:59
If it was lower than 50, it would be a fumble.
cuppycup 21:04
That's a pity.
Ross Bryant 21:06
Real pity.
Paula Deming 21:07
So, since this is pretty bad, could I push this roll?
Josephine McAdam 21:13
Oh, girl.
Ross Bryant 21:14
I wish you would.
Paula Deming 21:16
I think to push it, I can't quite read him. And so to get a better read on him, as his answer, I'm gonna walk around to be in between him in the mirror, so that he's looking now directly at me and I'm looking directly into his eyes.
Ross Bryant 21:32
You stand a 50/50, chance. What could go wrong?
Paula Deming 21:35
Oh no! It's not meant to be. I rolled a 96!
cuppycup 21:39
Wow.
Ross Bryant 21:41
Okay.
Josephine McAdam 21:43
Wow, you got in his way.
Ross Bryant 21:46
What do you say to him?
Paula Deming 21:49
I'll get very close to him, looking right in his eyes. I say
Marcella (Paula) 21:54
It's okay, Ray. Tell me what you see. I want to know what you see and how you feel about it. I can help you. I just want to understand.
Paula Deming 22:04
And maybe even I'll put a hand on him.
Ross Bryant 22:09
He breaks his eye contact with the mirror and kind of turns to you.
Paula Deming 22:14
I'm scared.
Ross Bryant 22:15
You can see the fluorescent lights reflecting in the little panes of his wire-rim glasses.
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 22:22
You... you understand then? That it was a gift. I have to get stronger. Stronger for him. Unto us, a child is born, and I am participating in his Eucharist. This is my flesh, which is given for you. He came down for us and for our salvation. I made it pretty for them. I would have made it pretty for you. A beautiful gift. A beautiful gift..
Ross Bryant 23:16
And you failed your push roll so he's going to lean forward and bite you on the neck.
Becca Scott 23:20
Oh my god.
Paula Deming 23:21
[retching] Oh my gosh.
Becca Scott 23:23
I'm going to put him in a headlock and rip him away from her.
Ross Bryant 23:29
Sounds like you're gonna fight back on his bite. Let's do it.
Josephine McAdam 23:32
I'll rush in, you know, not obviously there in time, but I like push Max, I feel like in the moments prior, right? I think I would have, behind the plexiglass, followed that gaze too and just been looking at Max, who failed a Sanity roll, seems to be having a moment.
cuppycup 23:47
Choking on my donut as my involuntary reaction, just like,
Max (cuppycup) 23:51
[cough] ... a sprinkle.
Josephine McAdam 23:53
Yeah, I'm gonna rush in, but not before telling Max like,
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 23:57
What, do you know something? Don't move!
Josephine McAdam 24:01
But I'll go into the room, straight to Marcella.
cuppycup 24:05
He looks at Rudolph like, "What the fuck is he talking about?"
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 24:11
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Detective Brenda (Becca) 24:12
Who?! Who is this gift for? Who is the gift for?
Ross Bryant 24:17
I'm being very nice here. And if, yes, he got a regular level of success. You tell me what your level of success is, Brenda.
Becca Scott 24:25
[gasps] A 12 under 60, that's an extreme success.
Captain (Ross) 24:31
Amazing.
Paula Deming 24:31
Brenda's saving me!
Ross Bryant 24:32
Great. So he's just totally placid, and then suddenly he plunges towards you. His mouth open and...
Becca Scott 24:42
I'm gonna take my left arm, put him in a headlock, take my right arm, punch him as hard as I can in the head that I am holding stationary.
Ross Bryant 24:52
Oh, great.
Josephine McAdam 24:53
Sounds like a cop!
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 24:54
Yeah.
Paula Deming 24:55
And I'm like, grabbing my neck and backing up and I think this is pretty unsettling.
Ross Bryant 25:02
Um, yeah.
Paula Deming 25:03
I probably need to make a sanity roll.
Ross Bryant 25:05
Make a SAN roll.
Paula Deming 25:06
Okay, that's better. I got scared. I did another 90. 39, that's a success! Okay, my training kicks in. I have been in interviews with scary people before.
Marcella (Paula) 25:19
It's fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm fine. [obviously not fine]
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 25:21
He's coming! He's coming! I thought she might be his mother, but we're going to find her! Unto us, a child is born. [panted breath] He is coming, and the Golden Age will return.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 25:44
Hey, this guy's just talking nonsense. Guys, it's gonna just go in circles okay? We're not gonna get anything else.
Marcella (Paula) 25:50
The Golden Age of who?!
Josephine McAdam 25:51
I'll be distracted with Marcella, I kind of like placed myself kind of halfway in front of you.
Marcella (Paula) 25:57
I'm fine, Caspius. I'm fine.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 26:00
Max, you've got to learn to chew.
Becca Scott 26:03
Can I use my religion to try and see if I have any idea what he's talking about?
Ross Bryant 26:11
Sure.
Becca Scott 26:13
A 34 under 40, that's a success.
Josephine McAdam 26:15
Ooh.
Paula Deming 26:16
Nice.
Ross Bryant 26:17
Great. What I will say is he just starts muttering to himself at this point, [indistinct muttering noises] and you pick up that it's Latin. And you don't have to know, you don't have to deeply know Latin, because it's common knowledge like "Pater Noster," "E Pluribus Unum," "Ave Maria."
Josephine McAdam 26:36
Yeah, everyone knows those.
Ross Bryant 26:38
So it probably pops out to your ear when you just hear him lock eyes with you for a moment and be like
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 26:46
Ave Saturnus.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 26:50
Hey, Caspius, come here.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 26:52
Yeah, okay.
Josephine McAdam 26:53
I put my arm down that was like up kind of like on Marcella's shoulder or something. You see a little like Saturn tattoo on the inside of the wrist. Put my arm right.
Marcella (Paula) 27:07
[gasps at the tattoo]
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 27:07
Yeah, yeah. What's going on, Brenda? This is a little out of control. I gotta say.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 27:15
Well, yeah, I said, "honor my method," And Marcella goes and sticks her face, touching noses...
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 27:21
Hey 'ey, this is not, this isn't Marcella's fault.
Marcella (Paula) 27:24
It's okay.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 27:26
Well, agree to disagree. [laughter] Caspius, he said something about "Saturn-us," like the planet?
Josephine McAdam 27:35
Are you still like, holding him in a choke hold? Like, what's...
Becca Scott 27:38
No, no, I let him go and I kind of pull you towards the oh, we're up against the glass a little bit so Max could see us. I walk over to you.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 27:49
Oh, wait, hold on. You can't just let it. He just tried to bite Marcella a second ago. Wait, hold on.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 27:54
He's handcuffed to the table.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 27:56
Oh, right.
Ross Bryant 27:58
His glasses are kind of ruined, but he kind of raises up. Blood is pouring out of his nose. And you now see he kind of looks up like [agonizing noises] blood is pouring out of his mouth, strangely. You didn't even like, punch him there. It's like, oh. [struggling noises] And he kind of looks up through the glasses dangling off his face, through the mirror once again, Maximus,
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 28:21
You saw the gift I gave them.
Ross Bryant 28:24
And then he kind of stops for a second. He looks into your eyes, Marcella,
Paula Deming 28:30
Yeah?
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 28:33
It could be you.
Ross Bryant 28:35
You see something in his mouth.
Marcella (Paula) 28:38
No, get him. No!
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 28:40
It could be you.
Ross Bryant 28:44
He puts the razor that he's just taken out of his lips to his own throat.
Josephine McAdam 28:48
Oh, my God! (gasp)
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 28:51
Ave Saturnus
Ross Bryant 28:53
And he's pulling it down his own throat.
Marcella (Paula) 28:55
Stop him! Stop him!
Josephine McAdam 28:57
Can we? Can we try to stop him?
Ross Bryant 28:59
Yeah, of course.
Josephine McAdam 29:01
Although I'm not a very fast man.
Becca Scott 29:05
I take it I haven't yet figured out, like, I think, yeah, I don't realize he has a weapon yet.
Ross Bryant 29:12
Okay, great. It sounds like Caspius was the one who noticed it. Why don't you take a if you were trying to stop him from destroying himself at this moment?
Josephine McAdam 29:19
Well, if I'm gonna honor the narrative of Brenda pulling me away in that moment to chat with me. You know...
Becca Scott 29:26
Maybe there's a reflection in the mirror.
cuppycup 29:29
I'm banging on the glass. They can only hear that, but he's screaming like
Max (cuppycup) 29:34
[banging noises] He's got something in his mouth! Check his mouth!
Josephine McAdam 29:36
Yeah. And we're like, oh?
Becca Scott 29:37
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 29:39
It sounds like the closest person to this is Marcella. So I'm gonna let Marcella be the one to make the call here. Are you gonna let this happen? He's locked in with you with great interest. It's like,
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 29:51
[strained] I give this gift to you. I could have written my masterpiece with your flesh! The gift of Saturn.
Paula Deming 30:04
As Marcella watches this happen, she almost has this out of body experience of like suddenly, like a vision of almost a past version of herself, who does slice open animals and let their entrails out and read the future in the entrails, and she's almost like seeing herself as this other person looking through organs and reading signs and portents from them, and cannot bring herself to snap into the reality of where she is to stop him. And so she is locked into this idea of seeing some sort of prophecy in what's happening.
Becca Scott 30:46
We really want this guy to die. [laughter]
Paula Deming 30:48
It just feels right in the moment. I thought about it. I thought about it. [laughs] The curse of my ancestor, if you will.
Ross Bryant 30:57
And the blood sprays out of this guy's throat.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 31:03
Oh shit, oh shit.
Marcella (Paula) 31:05
[gasps]
Ross Bryant 31:07
And he slumps forward onto the table. You can see just the smile on his face as he's watching you, Marcella.
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 31:14
[dying] I... I hope... it's... you.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 31:25
Hey, get a medic in here!
Josephine McAdam 31:26
I bang on the window to Max.
cuppycup 31:28
Yeah, he picks up the phone like,
Max (cuppycup) 31:30
EMT now! He's bleeding out in here!
cuppycup 31:33
They're just pounding the glass with the receiver.
Ross Bryant 31:37
The blood is pooling on the floor. Bang, bang, bang, bang, drums, horns, syrinx blaring as the garlands, like continue to fall through the sky as you move through this pantheon space, the four of you. You have had a vision, Marcella,
Marcella (Paula) 32:05
Yes
Ross Bryant 32:07
...that not just the New Year is coming, but someone is coming. There is someone being born. Something is happening. There's...
Marcella (Paula) 32:17
Oh, it's an incredible gift. It's a dawning of a new age of prosperity brought by Saturn himself. I sensed it. I feel it.
Ross Bryant 32:28
And up above you, you suddenly become aware, like even through the ambient light of torches and tapers and pools of oil ablaze that up above you, outshining them all, in the sky, in the firmament, a star blazes. And you remember your vision, and the light of that star might be falling upon the place where, to you, the Savior will be born, Saturn himself.
Marcella (Paula) 33:03
We have to go there. I think I've seen I think I've been given instructions. I think we must travel to wherever that star is shining. Would you all go with me?
Caspius Law (Josephine) 33:14
Of course, this is incredible news of great portent.
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 33:17
I would follow you anywhere, Marcella.
Maximus Artifex (cuppycup) 33:20
And Caspius, I, you. I owe you everything. My sacrifice was woefully inadequate and you allowed me to come in with Timothy.
Caspius Law (Josephine) 33:28
No, no. Stop putting yourself down, Maximus. Come on.
Marcella (Paula) 33:33
You all work together to bring this gift to Saturn and he, in turn, has blessed us. Livia, what an honor for you to have been a part of it, as such a young girl!
Livia (Ross) 33:44
Yes, thank you, your Grace.
Ross Bryant 33:47
She sort of genuflects and bows to you. Her blindfold back on as she gropes for your hand, Caspius. It's like,
Livia (Ross) 33:56
Thank you. Thank you, father. Thank you.
Becca Scott 33:59
Covered in blood.
Livia (Ross) 34:01
Yes, we've been given a gift.
Caspius Law (Josephine) 34:03
Yes, Livia, I think it's time your eyes remain open.
Ross Bryant 34:10
She takes off the blindfold and beholds the scene. You have to find out where this birth is taking place.
Paula Deming 34:16
Yes.
Ross Bryant 34:17
How are you going to investigate that?
Paula Deming 34:20
We could go to the temple archives and use our library use! [laughter]
Ross Bryant 34:25
Now we're talking!
Paula Deming 34:25
Now it's Cthulhu!
Ross Bryant 34:29
Moving through the porticos and antechambers into the inner rooms of the Temple of Saturn. All outside is merry and bright and gay, celebratory. In here, when the doors shut, it's relatively quiet here. You can hear the antics from outside, only barely. But there are shelves crammed with scrolls. Writers, persons of letters have made histories of the ancient times, of the times of the Republic, so recent, the kingdom of Rome, even further back in the history, and even further back, perhaps. How deep do these archives go? But it sounded like your goal was to learn more about like how to interpret the sign of the vision and the sign of the star in order to find this new birth that it's been intimated that is taking place.
Becca Scott 35:28
Yeah, "How to find Messiah for Dummies" [laughter]
Paula Deming 35:31
Yeah
Becca Scott 35:33
The scroll version.
Josephine McAdam 35:34
Well, could I also help? Because I have some natural world skills, so perhaps in having Marcella, you know, recount it to me in detail over and over and kind of going through what I know of the natural world around us.
cuppycup 35:49
Do any of us have library use? I certainly don't.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 35:51
I have 49 in it, actually.
cuppycup 35:54
Oh, that's good! Because five is the base in Dark Ages, at least.
Paula Deming 35:58
Yeah, I got worried, actually. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 36:02
Natural world, I think is a good call, because a lot of this is, in the way in which this stuff works is interpreting natural phenomena. How do the innards of a bird spill out? How do the winds turn? How do animals behave? How do the seasons change? All of these things aren't just rational natural phenomenon. All of them are loaded with meaning and portent and omen. Even a farmer who has an intimate knowledge of the seasons, this would be inflected in this spiritual way. Yeah, move out into the archives now. Perhaps you've got like little oil lamps in your hands as you move through this space. The little glow of your fire plays over the hundreds of scrolls and papers and little tablets here.
Paula Deming 36:52
I know we can find the information we want here.
Romulus (Ross) 36:54
Excuse me, what? I uh...
Marcella (Paula) 36:57
Yes?
Romulus (Ross) 36:58
I was not expecting anyone to come into these halls at this at this late hour, certainly not when there's so much revelry out in the streets! But the people must pay homage to Saturn.
Marcella (Paula) 37:11
Yes, brother Romulus...
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 37:12
We were looking for a place for an orgy. [laughter]
Marcella (Paula) 37:15
Brenda.
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 37:16
No, just fooling.
Romulus (Ross) 37:19
Well, you wouldn't be the first. Oh, lord knows if these walls and scrolls could talk. [laughter] They've seen everything. But well, if you're doing that...
Marcella (Paula) 37:31
No, no, no...
Romulus (Ross) 37:32
... I guess I'll give you some privacy...
Marcella (Paula) 37:33
No, no, no, really...
Romulus (Ross) 37:34
...unless there's room for one... what?
Caspius Law (Josephine) 37:36
No. No. [laughter]
Marcella (Paula) 37:38
No, yes. I mean, there would be, of course, if that's if we were doing you would always be welcome, brother Romulus, but we are looking specifically for works on stars, interpretations of the stars, how to navigate to where they are.
Romulus (Ross) 37:54
Astrological tables, yes, yes..
Marcella (Paula) 37:57
Yes! Please.
Romulus (Ross) 37:58
Astrologers tracked paths of the stars. Yes, of course, we have such things, and also tables and interpretations out of the realms of the Parthians, the Far East.
Marcella (Paula) 38:12
Yes, that sounds right. Please. Could you direct us to where, where we can find those things?
Romulus (Ross) 38:18
No, yes, of course, I'll do my best. I'm just about to close up shop. I've got one or two orgies to get to. But..
Marcella (Paula) 38:27
Yes, of course, and a happy Saturnalia to you, yes.
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 38:30
You look ready. I see you've anointed with oil.
Romulus (Ross) 38:36
Oh, you know, one reaches a certain age where one can't really participate, but it's nice to be there, you know, just for the community,
Caspius Law (Josephine) 38:43
Livia, if you could put that blindfold into your ears. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 38:48
And he moves through the stacks, and he leads you to an area where there are these shelves, little lamps nearby. And you can see a collection of scrolls, which, as he kind of, like, takes them in his hand and unrolls them, there are, like, star charts and astrological interpretations.
cuppycup 39:10
Are there star models, like the kind priests use for cycles, like, to determine when Saturnalia should be?
Ross Bryant 39:17
I love this idea. Yeah, he lifts out of a case this elegant cedar box, and slides it open. And there's this very rudimentary, like geocentric model with these beautiful, beautiful gem-like stones that seem to represent different celestial bodies, and also the sort of like alchemical and spiritual significance of the various stars and moons.
Maximus Artifex (cuppycup) 39:51
May I?
cuppycup 39:51
And he reaches toward it.
Romulus (Ross) 39:55
Be terribly careful! This was brought out of Alexandria; a treasure of inestimable worth.
Maximus Artifex (cuppycup) 40:04
Ha, Alexandrian work. I've never seen one you could crank. [laughter] It's amazing.
Romulus (Ross) 40:11
Oh yes, the crank. There's a crank too. There's a button. Oh yes, there's a button also!
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 40:18
Oh, and this part has a bird that you can tip forward and it touches the water and then comes back up. [laughter]
Romulus (Ross) 40:26
Yes, yes!
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 40:27
A marvel!
Romulus (Ross) 40:28
A perpetual motion machine. Ooh, yes.
cuppycup 40:31
I'd love to roll insight on this while, while people do rational things.
Ross Bryant 40:36
Great. Go ahead and roll your insight.
cuppycup 40:38
Okay.
Josephine McAdam 40:39
I think as Caspius and Marcella are like, you know, maybe unfurling scrolls on the tables, you know, and sort of pouring over and looking at maps and things like that, and astrological maps. There's probably like a hand bump here and there that's like,
Marcella (Paula) 40:52
I'm so sorry, Caspius.
Caspius Law (Josephine) 40:52
[awkwardly stumbling over each other] Oh no, uh after you..
Caspius Law (Josephine) 40:52
No, you go ah...
Marcella (Paula) 40:53
... No you look, you know more about the land than I do...
Caspius Law (Josephine) 40:59
No, surely not.
Marcella (Paula) 41:00
Oh yes, of course! I just sit in a Temple all day.
Caspius Law (Josephine) 41:03
How about together?
Marcella (Paula) 41:05
Oh, together?
Caspius Law (Josephine) 41:06
Yes.
Marcella (Paula) 41:06
Yes, of course.
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 41:09
Brenda's just standing on the corner feeling really awkward. [laughter] She bumps into a stack of scrolls and knocks it over, is trying to clean it up.
Ross Bryant 41:19
Suddenly, Romulus is right behind you.
Romulus (Ross) 41:22
Looks like these two are about to have an orgy of two! [laughter]
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 41:27
How strange!
Romulus (Ross) 41:28
Is an orgy still an orgy, if there's just two participants? What's the tipping point where, can there be an orgy of one? Yes...
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 41:36
Frankly, I don't understand the purpose of it.
Romulus (Ross) 41:39
Yes. Oh, purpose...
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 41:40
Wouldn't you want to share more with your neighbors? Share the bounty?
Romulus (Ross) 41:45
Yes, yes, yes, yes. These are the sort of Socratic, philosophic labors that keep me up at night.
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 41:51
What would Saturn say?
Romulus (Ross) 41:53
Is the Ship of Theseus still the Ship of Theseus if all the parts have been replaced? Is an orgy still an orgy if there's just one guy? [laughter]
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 42:03
Standing in a corner who has a hard time getting an erection nowadays.
Romulus (Ross) 42:07
Oh, somebody's been reading my journal. [laughter]
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 42:10
Yes, yes. Is that this one right here? You left it open.
Romulus (Ross) 42:16
Hands off. Hands off. That's private!
Ross Bryant 42:18
So all that nonsense is happening, but there's also what you're looking at. So it sounds like Maximus, you have your rolling insight to see if you can determine something about the star itself. Go ahead and roll it.
cuppycup 42:35
He's not touching it yet. And I'll say,
Maximus Artifex (cuppycup) 42:38
This tracks returns, not positions.
cuppycup 42:41
I would like to I rolled an 82 over 65 but I have a pretty good number, a pretty meaty number in insight. So I'd like to push this roll, if I could, by not using the hand crank. I want to force it with my hands. I want to kind of get in there.
Ross Bryant 42:56
Super, push away! So you do not use the crank, and maybe it jams for a second. You're like, oh, wait, I start to really put my back into it.
cuppycup 43:03
You got to force it. I'm kind of moving the planets around and such. And oh, Jesus Christ...
Paula Deming 43:09
Did you fail?
cuppycup 43:10
97
Josephine McAdam 43:11
Wow.
Paula Deming 43:13
Oh no! Are you breaking it? Come on!
Josephine McAdam 43:14
You have such a good stat too.
Ross Bryant 43:16
Wow.
cuppycup 43:16
OhI know I had 65 and I rolled 82 and 97
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 43:16
I'm just gonna roll the charm Romulus here [laughter]
Josephine McAdam 43:29
I'm gonna spend three luck to make it a hard success.
Ross Bryant 43:32
Okay, great. So...
Paula Deming 43:33
Oh, nice.
Ross Bryant 43:35
That was a natural world?
Josephine McAdam 43:37
A natural world. Yeah.
Ross Bryant 43:39
Great. So, a hard success on natural world, wonderful. And what about you, Marcella?
Paula Deming 43:44
Marcella got a hard success on library use. A 21 under 49.
Caspius Law (Josephine) 43:50
Together, indeed.
Marcella (Paula) 43:53
Better together, perhaps,
Ross Bryant 43:57
So natural world. You can hear over your shoulder, Brenda and Romulus having a way too loud conversation. You get the idea that Romulus doesn't have many visitors, and he's really excited to talk to people about his philosophical thought experiments. Over your other shoulder, you can hear Maximus straining with the little model. And you're looking at a star chart, you have an intimate relationship with the night sky out there, like just thinking back a few weeks ago, giving a bunch of oats to Timothy...
Josephine McAdam 44:33
RIP
Ross Bryant 44:34
...up there, all the stars, the fixed star, and all the other stars that wheel around them. You know constellations, can track the time by them, the time of year. And you're looking now at this astronomical table, you can see the stars that you're so familiar with rendered here. You get the sense of this star that Marcella has indicated to you, above in the heavens, a new star. You've seen other celestial bodies appear - new stars, as it were - over the course of your life. And as you look back on the star and how bright it is, you have the sense that this star might not be a star that has just kind of given birth, blazed to life somewhere out there in the Empyrean, your hard Natural World tells you that this might be a comet. This is the sort of thing that might fall to Earth. Or if it doesn't fall to Earth, it may be shedding bits, falling down. Gifts, as it were, from the heavens. Your library use roll, hard library use roll, what can you? Can you give me some guidance as to what type of information you're actively pursuing?
Paula Deming 45:58
Yeah, I want to travel to this place. So I think I'm looking at information about how to use the stars to chart your course. Maybe, yeah, maybe, like, almost like, navigational tips of how to look at the sky and triangulate where you might need to go. You know, sort of thing, does that make sense?
Ross Bryant 46:20
Absolutely. So you're looking almost at, like the mathematical extensions of what Caspius was looking at.
Paula Deming 46:28
Yeah.
Ross Bryant 46:29
Yeah, these geometric tables, navigational information, and with some triangulation, a fixed point in the night sky. Your point. If the movement of this, what Caspius is telling you is a comet, is moving across the sky in a certain direction, you have a sense of kind of the direction that it's heading, and of course, that you would plot if you were going to try to maybe, like, intersect with its path, and it's rather far away, As a matter of fact, it's in the Near East. It's beyond Greece. It's beyond Rhodes and Cyprus. It's somewhere neighboring an obscure body of water on the map that you found called the Sea of Galilee.
Marcella (Paula) 47:19
Sea of Galilee?
Caspius Law (Josephine) 47:23
This is quite concerning. I mean this may, in fact, be a comet, a celestial body and movement that may very well pose some danger if we are not in the right place at the right time.
Marcella (Paula) 47:37
Yes, we must be where the comet is sending us these gifts, I think. And perhaps, if we make our way, maybe we don't even need to go all the way to the Sea of Galilee. But if we make our way along the path, perhaps we will intercept these gifts.
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 47:52
Saturn will surely guide us after all we've given, with Timothy's sacrifice.
Paula Deming 47:58
Brenda speaks true. I have seen it. Yes.
cuppycup 48:01
Maximus looks up from fucking this thing up and goes,
Maximus Artifex (cuppycup) 48:03
Do you see what I see?
Ross Bryant 48:05
It explodes in your hand! [laughter]
Romulus (Ross) 48:13
By Hephaestus hammer! By Vulcan's forge! What have you done?
Brenda the Bold (Becca) 48:18
It is your sacrifice!
Romulus (Ross) 48:21
A priceless treasure! Out! Out! All of you! You're not invited to my orgy. It's just another solo orgy for Romulus.
Caspius Law (Josephine) 48:30
Oh, yes, sorry, Romulus.
Becca Scott 48:33
Something tells me he prefers that. [laughter]
Caspius Law (Josephine) 48:36
Come on, let's get out of here, then. Maximus?
Maximus Artifex (cuppycup) 48:40
Is it? No, it wasn't meant to show where the stars are. It was meant to show where the stars could be, where they're meant to be.
Ross Bryant 48:49
The archive is full of scrolls and papers and books and a microfiche machine and a copy machine. And as you move through it,
Captain (Ross) 49:06
There must be some way to learn more about this freak. You know, there must be some way to learn more about this guy. I mean, level with me here, Caspius, Mr. Law, if you're allowed to even share this kind of information with us, you're telling me you got some freak did this exact same kind of thing?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 49:24
Yeah, we've seen it before. Yeah, I don't know if we...
Captain (Ross) 49:27
What are we talking about here? Is this like some sort of, I don't know, some sort of terror organization?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 49:35
Oh, I don't know about that, but maybe, I don't know, maybe we got some sort of, like, cult shit on our hands again.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 49:41
Yeah, he's definitely some kind of believer. We have that much, Captain. He thinks he was doing something that needed to be done.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 49:50
Yeah.
Captain (Ross) 49:52
Right, so..
Detective Brenda (Becca) 49:53
I thought
Captain (Ross) 49:54
Some sort of religious maniac, or something? At least cracked in the head!
Detective Brenda (Becca) 50:00
Did you get the warrant? Can we go search his place now?
Captain (Ross) 50:03
Yeah, yeah, you could go check out his place. You can look in the records, if you want to, what little we got, but I'm sure the FBI has got a more substantial archive that you probably got access to. But yeah, I can't go with you, because unfortunately,
Ross Bryant 50:17
He gets all in your face.
Captain (Ross) 50:18
I got a couple of EMTs cleaning up a blood bath in my fucking interview room!
Detective Brenda (Becca) 50:24
All right. Well, the arresting officer really needs to remember to check the mouth for razor blades next time. That's all I gotta say.
Captain (Ross) 50:33
... yeah, yeah
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 50:34
[chuckling] She makes a good point.
Captain (Ross) 50:37
I guess this is Japanski's fault.
Caspius and Brenda 50:40
Japanski?!
Captain (Ross) 50:41
I'll have him directing traffic for the next eight months!
Detective Brenda (Becca) 50:46
That's right. And I want to yell, too! I want to yell too, Captain!
Marcella (Paula) 50:50
Okay.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 50:51
Yeah, you tell Japanski! You tell him enjoy the crosswalk!
Captain (Ross) 50:56
Let's take the temperature down, Brenda! You're trying to do something to my chestnuts!
Detective Brenda (Becca) 51:02
I'm roastin' em! I'm roastin'em, Captain! [laughter]
Captain (Ross) 51:08
But you get outta here! I want this case off of my desk by the New Year.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 51:13
All right. All right, we're gonna go take a look at this, at the suspects place. Brenda, great suggestion that. Maximus, you ought to come too, because this is the kind of freaky shit you seem to be into.
Max (cuppycup) 51:25
You can call me Max. It's fine.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 51:27
Yeah, you look like you think like him. You know what I mean?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 51:30
Yeah, Max, I've got my eye on you, because it doesn't seem like I'm the only one, huh?
Max (cuppycup) 51:35
No, he was looking at me! You saw that?
Marcella (Paula) 51:37
Yes.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 51:38
Yeah, I saw that.
Max (cuppycup) 51:39
He was looking at… why was he looking at me? Because I drive a Saturn?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 51:43
I don't know, Max. Why was he looking at you?
Marcella (Paula) 51:45
I don't think it's because of your car, Max. A very funny joke.
Max (cuppycup) 51:48
I did get it at CarMax. [laughter]
Marcella (Paula) 51:50
Oh, that was not funny, but thank you for trying to lighten the mood.
Max (cuppycup) 51:56
Oh, getting booed out of the station again?
Detective Brenda (Becca) 52:00
Boo!
Ross Bryant 52:01
Down the hall you can hear like,
Japanski (Ross) 52:03
Hey, what'd I do, Chief?
Captain (Ross) 52:04
Japanski, you're off the fucking case! Next time shine a light in the damn mouth or something, he could have filleted half the force! All right, yous, have a Holly Jolly Christmas!
Ross Bryant 52:19
And you walk past the meager decorations, it sounded like some of or maybe all of you are going to Ray Salvatorio’s apartment.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 52:28
Can we get ice cream on the way?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 52:30
Okay, well, I got my motorcycle so I can only take maybe one.
Marcella (Paula) 52:35
I could ride with you. I'm feeling quite out of sorts from what happened. And so if that's I mean, but anyone else could as well. It's fine.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 52:44
Oh no, yeah...
Detective Brenda (Becca) 52:46
Max, you hop in the squad car with me.
Max (cuppycup) 52:48
Yeah, I'll just get in the back again.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 52:50
You're gonna have to ride in the back, though, because you make me a little nervous.
Max (cuppycup) 52:54
Of course, of course. Every time. [laughter] All right, no handcuffs this time, though right?
Detective Brenda (Becca) 53:00
[teasingly] That's up to you. [laughter]
Marcella (Paula) 53:06
Maybe in the apartment, I'll be able to analyze the behavior or motivations of Ray.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 53:15
Hey, I'll keep you safe. I'm sorry.
Marcella (Paula) 53:18
It's fine
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 53:18
I should have been in there.
Marcella (Paula) 53:19
No, no, I should have known better, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop him. I don't know why I didn't act.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 53:25
Oh, Marcella, we would never expect you to act. We shouldn't have had you so close to the suspect.
Marcella (Paula) 53:31
No, it's fine. It's fine, Caspius.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 53:34
Safety first, always.
Josephine McAdam 53:35
And I put a helmet on your head
Marcella (Paula) 53:38
Oh, yes! Thank you!
Ross Bryant 53:40
And it sounds like you all peel out. Maybe the last thing you hear as the Chief and Japanski burst through the doors, like,
Captain (Ross) 53:46
Get out of here, you jerk off! This guy over here is like an orgy of one! [laughter]
Ross Bryant 53:54
Cruising through the streets. And you arrive...
Becca Scott 53:56
I put on the siren. We get there fast.
Ross Bryant 53:59
Classic cop: running red lights, running people off the road.
Max (cuppycup) 54:02
I think I'm gonna be car sick.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 54:05
It's fun. Right, Max?
Max (cuppycup) 54:08
Can you put the window down? I need to throw up. [laughter]
Detective Brenda (Becca) 54:12
Come on. Don't! Don't you dare!
Ross Bryant 54:16
It's cold. It's December. Christmas time. An apartment complex. We're kind of in ex-urban, suburban Jersey. See a very anonymous gray, kind of townhouse-style condo complex, and you have come to the front door of Ray's apartment.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 54:42
Okay. Why don't you let us two go in first. Max, Marcella, you mind just?
Detective Brenda (Becca) 54:55
Yeah, hold on one second.
Becca Scott 54:57
And she's gonna back up and she's just gonna slam her foot into the door as hard as she can
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 55:02
[exasperated] Okay...
Becca Scott 55:03
and try and open it, because we don't have a key.
Paula Deming 55:05
But we do have a warrant.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 55:07
We get it. You're strong.
Becca Scott 55:10
Oh, I guess we probably took his keys, but whatever, I already kicked it.
Paula Deming 55:14
No! Break the door down. I want it.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 55:16
I got th... all right.
Ross Bryant 55:17
Not even gonna make you roll. You absolutely crunched the door in.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 55:22
Still got it.
Ross Bryant 55:25
You can see a woman with one of those rolling double-decker shopping carts like trundling by with a little handkerchief around her face, look over at the noise like "Ah, this neighborhood's going to hell."
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 55:39
Yeah. Sorry, ma'am, hap- Merry Christmas!
Detective Brenda (Becca) 55:43
Ho, ho, ho.
Ross Bryant 55:46
You move into the space. The floor is carpeted. It has that musty smell of a place that doesn't get dusted often enough. It's very dim. There's a hallway, and it's one of those kind of slim townhouse-style condos where there's stairs leading up, there's a little sitting room in a kitchen on the ground floor.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 56:17
Anybody home?
Detective Brenda (Becca) 56:18
The paperwork said he lived alone.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 56:23
Oh, did it? Okay.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 56:25
Surprise, surprise.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 56:26
Well...
Detective Brenda (Becca) 56:27
You never know.
Max (cuppycup) 56:29
Marcella, thank you for letting me out of the squad car. I think Brenda forgot again.
Marcella (Paula) 56:33
Oh, of course, that's all right.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 56:36
[laughing] Sorry, buddy.
Marcella (Paula) 56:37
She's just a jokester. You know?
Max (cuppycup) 56:40
You know, Agent Law asked about you, um, not professionally,
Marcella (Paula) 56:45
What? No, I don't know if he's over his, you know, his dead wife, um, but hopefully, maybe... what?! This is not professional, Max. But thank you for saying so.
Max (cuppycup) 56:59
Just thought you should know.
Marcella (Paula) 57:01
Interesting. I, ah, okay.
Max (cuppycup) 57:04
He's kind of cute. He's a little gruff, but I don't know.
Marcella (Paula) 57:07
Oh, he's very- don't tell him I said so. But he's very cute [giggling] because of how gruff he is. Do you know it's... I like fixing people, okay, Max? Stop analyzing me!
Paula Deming 57:19
[laughter] And I will walk forward into the apartment.
Max (cuppycup) 57:22
I do too, but it's corpses... yeah, okay
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 57:27
Yeah, all right, these rooms are cleared. How about you, Brenda?
Detective Brenda (Becca) 57:29
Clear, clear, clear.
Becca Scott 57:34
I tried all my voices. And they're all clear, great.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 57:40
Okay, let's take a look at this weirdo’s bedroom. [calling to the others] Hey, y'all can come in now.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 57:47
Wait, he's got puppy chow! Ooh,
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 57:51
Oh, shit.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 57:53
Oh, like, you know little chex mix with powdered sugar, and peanut butter, chocolate.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 57:57
Yeah, hold back a second, guys. Hold back a second, guys.
Ross Bryant 58:01
In the kitchen, you see a cookie dish, and there's a big Ziploc bag full of puppy chow, like you said,
Detective Brenda (Becca) 58:07
Yeah! Hey, Cass, you think this is evidence? Or can I go to town?
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 58:14
Hey, look, only if you're sharing.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 58:16
[happy noises]
Becca Scott 58:20
I'm gonna dive on into this bag of puppy chow.
Josephine McAdam 58:22
Yeah, we're gonna empty that bag between us.
Ross Bryant 58:26
Okay, just chowing down on his puppy chow. You're there in the kitchen.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 58:29
All right, guys, you're all good now.
Detective Brenda (Becca) 58:31
It's safe now! [laughter]
Ross Bryant 58:34
It's really quiet in here. You can probably only hear the hum of the refrigerator. And then, of course, there's that staircase leading upstairs.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 58:42
Yeah, I think, you know, bedrooms probably up there. That's probably a good place to start. What do you think, Marcella? You get in their heads, you know?
Marcella (Paula) 58:52
Oh, yes. Well, sometimes I like to start just by running my hands along everything. It helps me feel connected and grounded to the, uh, to the suspect, and get into their mindset, and then I can analyze.
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 59:07
Oh? Yeah, yeah.
Paula Deming 59:08
I'll maybe just kind of casually run my fingers across whatever items are there on the countertop for us.
Ross Bryant 59:15
Okay.
Josephine McAdam 59:16
Caspius is just watching Marcella run her hands along everything,
Becca Scott 59:24
Wishing you were a countertop?
Josephine McAdam 59:26
Slack jawed a little bit. Yeah, wishing he was a countertop! [laughter]
Ross Bryant 59:32
Great. Give me a power roll.
Josephine McAdam 59:36
Oh, shit!
Paula Deming 59:38
Okay.
Josephine McAdam 59:38
We know you're good at these.
Paula Deming 59:39
Okay. [dice rolls] Why?! Do better! I rolled a 99 Ross, it's not a fumble, but it's a 99.
Josephine McAdam 59:51
You could push that.
Paula Deming 59:53
Yeah, I will push the roll again and hopefully not roll another 90.
Ross Bryant 59:58
Seems like it's your only way to succeed.
Paula Deming 1:00:00
It's my only way to succeed, and I need to know we have to solve this! And I have to understand why I reacted the way I did to him, and why he reacted the way he did to me. And he said,
Ray Salvatorio (Ross) 1:00:13
I hope it's you
Paula Deming 1:00:14
Yeah. What does that mean? I have to figure it out until I really go deeper into my gift of other sight and come on! 63 it's not enough. It's better, but my power's 55! I thought I read it...
Becca Scott 1:00:35
Come on
Paula Deming 1:00:36
...upside down at first. No!
Ross Bryant 1:00:39
Sorry.
Paula Deming 1:00:40
Yeah. So it's a fail.
Ross Bryant 1:00:42
Failed a push roll.
Josephine McAdam 1:00:44
Ross
Paula Deming 1:00:45
I failed a pushed power roll.
cuppycup 1:00:49
Ross hates when that happens. [laughter]
Ross Bryant 1:00:52
Okay, great, you push your hand across the countertop. There's a binder of best practices at Kinko's copy shop, there's a little lanyard that says "Assistant Manager." You don't get much. Underneath that musty smell, the smell of heavy, a really potent aroma, the smell of incense?
Marcella (Paula) 1:01:23
Strange.
Ross Bryant 1:01:25
A coppery smell, like a smell of a handful of pennies. Burning oil. Suddenly, you realize from the direction of the refrigerator, screams. Screams, of terror and pain, and then the rest of you see Marcella's eyes roll into the back of her head.
Ross Bryant 1:01:56
She seems to look up into the ceiling. And your sight goes up, up through one floor, the ceiling, through the clouds, past an airplane into the sky, and you can see her, the burning woman in the sky, blazing, bringing her children out, giving birth, and they're falling, falling down, down to the earth below
Agent Caspius (Josephine) 1:01:57
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Becca Scott 1:02:25
The mother.
Ross Bryant 1:02:26
Yes, and you see the bloody maw of the one who is showing you. The time is nearly consummated. It is almost upon you. You could see the woman reach out with her hand towards your head and touch you. And something is eating its way out of Caspius, Brenda, Maximus as they scream. Fires burn in the distance, the moon falls from the sky, and you're looking not through your own eyes, as a gout, as a wave of blood spatters a woman in front of you, a tiny girl with a bone knife stands in front of you, a piece of cloth hanging around her neck. The brazier is billowing heavy incense across your eyes as your eyes grow cloudy and dark as your blood coats this woman in front of you, intoning ancient languages you cannot understand as you topple and fall and the last thing that you think is how much that woman looks like you.
cuppycup 1:03:45
[chuckling] Jesus Christ.